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Changing your look for a boyfriend

journo25

journo25

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How much of a physical transformation would you be willing to undergo to please a boyfriend? If he asked you to go blond, shave your head, shave off or grow facial hair, shave or wax all your body hair, remove tattoos and piercings (or get some!), would you indulge him? Would you worry that your relationship was based on superficial appearances and that he might be wanting you to fill some porn star fantasy of his, rather than being happy with you as you are?
 
I wouldn't change for anyone unless I trusted their judgment and I thought I'd like how I'd look if I liked the change. I'd never do anything drastic or body altering.
 
I have changed,I have had lipo & a tummy tuck done. I had it done for ME and not for anyone else !!
 
Someone I was dating and that I really started to like told me one day he disliked my mohawk "because of the attention I got for it".

We didn't make it past Halloween, and I have no regrets about it.

The short answer is, of course, no, I wouldn't change my look to keep a guy, because I figure if my look was good enough to open the door, I don't see why I should have to change it and conform to keep it open.
 
I have taken suggestions a few times but when I have changed something I've done it because I wanted to, not to please anyone.
 
i think i would do things with my hair and facial hair, and perhaps wear certain garments more often or less, but only if what he asks for is within my comfort zone.
 
I wouldn't. Besides, he would have had plenty of time to vocalize his opinion on your appearance before you became boyfriends and then you would have known he was an ass should they have been ridiculous suggestions. I would not include things like, "hey, could you shave that scruff before rimming my ass cause it's irritating my butt cheeks", thinks like that.
 
Comments so far mirror my own feelings. I dated a guy a few years ago who wanted me to manscape... my chest and abs, shave my hole. I had thought about it before I'd met him so had no objection to trying it and seeing if I liked the look and feel. He wanted to shave my asshole himself which was very hot and led to a wild encounter. Soon, he asked me to remove some body piercings that I loved very much and of course had gotten on my own before we'd met because I found them pleasurable and erotic. Nipples and navel so nothing outlandish that anyone would know about at my workplace or when we were out. I complied because I cared for him but his request bothered me. And in time broke up. He was history and the piercings were back in! I learned something from that experience.
 
I did get rid of my beard for my partner as he really disliked it. But I was quite indifferent to the beard, and it was getting pretty wild. I think without him I would have kept it and probably been alone forever with a beard down to the ground!
 
MoufOfKhaos said:
Someone I was dating and that I really started to like told me one day he disliked my mohawk "because of the attention I got for it".

We didn't make it past Halloween, and I have no regrets about it.

The short answer is, of course, no, I wouldn't change my look to keep a guy, because I figure if my look was good enough to open the door, I don't see why I should have to change it and conform to keep it open.
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Totally agree. A mohawk makes such a huge public statement about you and your individuality. How could someone be drawn to you -- with your mohawk! -- and then think they could get you to give up your look? All we can do is stand our ground.
 
LOL....you have to know me to understand why I am laughing. It is probably the worst thing you could ask me to do......

The answer is a definite NO....
 
How dare you. If you don't like what I'm doing with myself, then why are you with me? That's how I would feel if a "boyfriend" asked me to change myself.
 
eastofeden said:
LOL....you have to know me to understand why I am laughing. It is probably the worst thing you could ask me to do......

The answer is a definite NO....
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Hmmm... color me intrigued!
There's a huge difference between friends or partners trying new things together (a look, a resort, a sex toy) in the spirit of adventure and fun, and someone determined to change another's appearance or core character traits. We all seem to be on the same page here. Not a lot of Eliza Doolittles hangin' out in the JUB threads, evidently!
 
I've asked my boyfriend(s) in the past for suggestions on looks - "what should I do with my hair?", "I need a suit - will you go shopping with me and help me pick out a good one?" And I've had them point out things like "you missed a spot shaving" or "you have ketchup on your shirt". But as far as making specific suggestions on changing my look, no. By the time we start dating/sleeping together, they understand that my look is the one I've chosen, and they're presumably on board with it.

Lex
 
There are certain things I changed dyed my hair blonde, wore different types of pants or shirts, but as suggestions, the hair I wanted to, but would never changed anything that I didn't like just to please him.
 
I wouldn't change such superficial things. However, the nature of a relationship is change and adaptation of the other persons wants and needs, just like they change for you. I realize that is nothing like the OP question but I see some responses that are "I never change nothing for no one" and I imagine those folks who feel that way will be quite lonely.
 
I wouldn't mind doing stuff that is reversible. Shaving or growing hair, coloring and so on. But never anything that is permanent.
 
cityboy-stl said:
I wouldn't mind doing stuff that is reversible. Shaving or growing hair, coloring and so on. But never anything that is permanent.
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same here, i think. I wish i was confident enough to just accept myself completely the way I am but alas, im not and I can see myself possibly swaying (maybe too much) for a guy im interested in.
 
If it would turn him on...yes, I would change my underwear to wearing jockstraps for him.
 
I am what I am (to quote Popeye, hehehe)

If they can't take me as-is, fuck 'em!

:D
 
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