Characteristics of a Top/Bottom.

[marcelloNYC]

I identify with being mostly bottom/versatile. In the last 18mos that I have been hooking up with guys I tend to meet guys whom are mostly bottoms versatile. It hasn't posed a problem because we switched. But a few weeks a go I met a guy I really was attracted to and he turned out to be exclusively a bottom, and swore I was a top...lol. I had no desire to top him. We wound up kissing and pleased each other orally. We have since become friends and have been hanging out in that manner now.

So my question is: Is it more common to be versatile or a top/bottom exclusively? Also, is there characteristics that make it easier to spot a top vs bottom?

I have been told I appear more as a top.

Thanks and sorry if this is a stupid question.

 

[bankside]

Makes no sense to me at all.. to me it was like asking "do you prefer to breathe or to have your heart beat?"

Yeah, I'm greedy....yeah, I insist on both. I truly don't understand "tops" or "bottoms." It is like a foreign culture, even an alien culture.

 

[G-Lexington]

I usually consider it a continuum. Even guys who are totally versatile probably have slight preferences (even if it's "I've bottomed the last ten times - I'd like to try topping tonight"), and committed tops and bottoms might give the other side a try if the guy and mood were just right.

I think it's rather foolhardy to assume based simply on characteristics. Such characteristics might HINT at one thing or another, but that's a far cry from being definitive. That said, if you meet a shy, quiet, "straight-acting" gay guy, I'd say he's more likely to be a top. A louder, more gregarious, effeminate gay is more likely to be a bottom. Mind you, there are plenty of shy, quiet, straight-acting bottoms out there, and plenty of louder, gregarious, effeminate tops. This is simply playing the percentage game here.

Lex

 

[kissthesky88]

my best gay friend (actually my only gay friend since i consider very few people actual friends and not acquaintances) is a gnarly whore, i'm talking like triple digits and he only just turned 21, and he's told me constantly that you can tell if a guy is a top or a bottom just by their pants. he thinks that bottoms are the guys who wear their pants in the "form fitting" style that a gay guy on a scripted tv show would wear, while tops keep it loose and airy. almost like the difference between types of underwear. boxers=tops, briefs=bottoms.

i don't think that's necessarily true though personally.

 

[dairyking469]

while tops keep it loose and airy. almost like the difference between types of underwear. boxers=tops, briefs=bottoms.

i don't think that's necessarily true though personally.

Interesting, I wear boxers (used to wear briefs) and I want to bottom.......

 

[marcelloNYC]

Thanks for the responses.

I agree I thought it was more of a continum.

I do not think it is greedy to want both, it is fair and healthy
if both peoplee enjoy switching.

Funny thing, I wear briefs and fitted pants. So I guess I meet that
criteria lol

 

[heartfly77]

my best gay friend (actually my only gay friend since i consider very few people actual friends and not acquaintances) is a gnarly whore, i'm talking like triple digits and he only just turned 21, and he's told me constantly that you can tell if a guy is a top or a bottom just by their pants. he thinks that bottoms are the guys who wear their pants in the "form fitting" style that a gay guy on a scripted tv show would wear, while tops keep it loose and airy. almost like the difference between types of underwear. boxers=tops, briefs=bottoms.

i don't think that's necessarily true though personally.

LOL. So I supposed since I wear boxer briefs that I am versatile.

 

[TX-Beau]

I wear boxer briefs and I do not like to bottom. I'll do it if I want to make someone happy, but it's not something I really enjoy at all. Plus if the guy is really big, it may be off the table entirely.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm a brief-wearing top. As usual, these are just vague hints, not absolute truths.

Lex

 

[NewStart]

These stereotypes are a real problem, everyone thinks i'm a top. Sigh.

 

[ABoyNamedSue]

The whole top/bottom thing perplexes me to no end. I am not even sure where I fall in the continum, so I guess for classification sake I am versatile. There are some guys I want to top, some guys I want to bottom for, and hell at times where neither option seemed very appealing, but the idea of oral sex or a hand job was nice.

 

[Toddxxx]

I think a significant majority of guys are versatile and whether they top or bottom depends on their partner at the time. But there certainly are guys who are exclusively either tops or bottoms.

 

[alphacentauri]

I am a top for anal sex, and mainly for oral sex at times, but I have had men and women assume that I am a Dominant/Master for BDSM when I am not into that at all.

 

[TX-Beau]

HOLY Zombie threads Batman!

 

[Seasoned]

As with anything else every possibility is going to be represented when it comes to what guys like sexually. Before online hook ups some guys wore colored work hankies in either the right or left back pocket to indicate what they were looking for.

I can understand how, on a given night, someone might be in the mood for something specific or how someone might prefer certain activities over others, but I'd advise any gay person to explore it all. Why not? Same sex couples have the ability to switch it up. Why not take full advantage of being gay?

I can't help but wonder if there are some psychological hang ups with some guys. With a male dominant culture some people view tops as higher on the food chain. I think there's less of that than there once was and here's hoping that it dissipates even more over time.

 

[bamabottom4u]

This thread hits home...so let me complicate it a little more Lol!

I am bisexual, which of course can be a mind job by itself. My mood affects which one I desire and that creates the Top/Bottom preference. When I am feeling masculine and aggressive, I only desire women...I am very dominant and I guess you could call that my "top" mode. When I am like that, I don't think about guys at all.

Then when I am feeling less masculine, more playful and submissive...I only want guys and I am an exclusive bottom Lol! I will have no urge to top the other guy, instead I want to give head for long periods of time...let him use my body in whatever position he wants. I barely even get hard because its not so much the guy turning me on...its the pleasure/pain of anal. I usually cum from being fucked without my cock ever being touched.

So I guess it is just different for everyone Lol!

 

[novastar]

Im a total bottom. Cant even get hard with a guy

 

[jktoooo]

I have never topped and no desire to. I do have ppl confused about me tho cuz tho i aint no gruff construction worker brute, i am athletic and appear as straight to a lot of ppl.. my BF is really manly and so alot of ppl are confused about us cause theyre not sure who is top or bottom. Haha.

But I guess my point is its hard just going off of “looks” whether someone is a top or a bottom. U just have to get to know the other person. I have seen friends of mine who are total fembots who are almost exclusive tops. And i know some really manly men to be submissive bottoms in bed room.

 

[sutherngent]

Although I've never been fucked by a man I know for a fact I am a total bottom. The idea of fucking another guy just doesn't do anything for me. I guess if I was hooking up with someone I was really interested in and he wanted me to top I could but I don't think I would be very good at it.