Charity/Friendship gone wrong!

[lyconthrope]

I think he has no right to be as annoyed as he seems to be.

he dissapeared, didn't make any contact AND took your stuff!

trust more? trust how?

why exactly did he have your stuff? how are you supposed to trust someone who steals from you and disappears, leaving you to worry and then when he does contact you gives you no explaination, no apology, nothing!

I agree with marley, change the locks and forget him

your a very open generous person, don't let this guy damage your trust in human beings, maybe just excercise a wee bit more caution in future

 

[lyconthrope]

as long as your sure there was no way for him to get a copy then its ok.

but seriously, he stole from you! he has no right to be annoyed with you for asking for your stuff back.

 

[sentirpromesas]

your stuff is in a "safe place"? what exactly does that mean.

For some odd reason this little get together sounds a bit iffy. I'd definitely have other people with you when this person comes by.

 

[seven_sins]

After what he has done, I wouldn't let him back in your place. Offer to meet him at a coffee shop or somewhere like that. If he thinks that you are vulnerable, he could take you for all he could get. I would be very cautious with him.

 

[lyconthrope]

explain himself? whats to explain?

what possible good reason could he have for taking advantage of your kindness? for stealing stuff!

its in a safe place? it was just fine where it was until he stole it!

 

[954dude]

your stuff is in a "safe place"? what exactly does that mean.

For some odd reason this little get together sounds a bit iffy. I'd definitely have other people with you when this person comes by.

I agree. Have 2 others in your company and get to talking about this situation. After things settle down, I'd say it's time for you to leave him alone and forget about him.

 

[youngnihilist]

dont give anyone charity if theres a sexual side to it. true charity is giving items away to people you'll never see, or at least don't have any sexual interest in!

 

[youngnihilist]

you said yourself he's cute

 

[Luka]

Why don't you find someone your own age and stop trying to get poor younger guys, thats gross.

 

[Luka]

As you should well know by now, there are plenty of young guys out there who are into older guys like me, guys even younger than you are; as young as 18 years old. The Guy that i mentioned was 24 years old, older than you are. So, what's the fuss? Not everyone thinks that it is gross. I have to remind myself that it is all a matter of personal opinions.

Well, I dont know whats wrong with the younger guys who waste time on old duffers. They must have been tramatized early in life or something....

 

[hanshansen]

The combination of:

- strangers meeting through dating site
- extreme age difference
- extreme income difference
- sex/emotional need ('I enjoyed cuddling with him in my bed')
- moral pressure ('he was in a motel room with just what he had on his back', the 'how dare you' email)

made this a disaster waiting to happen.

Learn from it and don't do it again.

PS: Good friends are good friends, Gay or not.

 

[waves]

I'm so sorry to hear about that, 1big14me!

I know you have good intentions in wanting to help out people, but sometimes it's really difficult to know whether or not those people will end up stabbing your back. In this case, he did it not once, but twice. You have a good heart--it's a shame that someone took advantage of it. Cut off all contact with Jacob, and try to start things up again with yourself.

 

[justchillin]

I know coming out can be rough. Im 30 and came out a few years ago and was glad to have a few people show me the ropes. I think its rougher for those who come out way later in life and are emotionally and sexually stunted, therefore being attracted to and trusting younger men. I have a friend that is 30 and will only date you if you look 18-19, because thats what he's attracted to, its not his choice really.

Im not saying all the younger guys willing to have an older gentleman help them out have a bad agenda but you should be very weary and not put yourself in a position to be upset and hurt.

You said "it did not have anything sexual to begin with." Whether or not you say it wasnt sexual, you need to really be honest with yourself. If you were attracted to him and the fact that you cuddled a stranger meant that there was a sexual attraction on your part. Whether it be your need to experiment or loneliness, being honest will help you notice this and try to avoid the same mistake later. Would you have allowed in another 45 year old in the same position as the kid into your home? Sometimes kids are in these positions because they cant help it or because they put themselves into it. Its just hard to tell if you barely know the person.

I have a rule to date only within 3-4 years of my age with exception on a case by case basis. But usually anyone from 18-26 would have to really impress me and be mature. Im not saying that there are those that arent crazy at 30 but you have to have your guard up and look for warning signs and red flags.
If a 24yr is interested in a 45 yr you should look for these red flags because most of the time (not saying all the time) they are out looking for someone to support them or take advantage of.