Chasing the Dream ?

[chrisdobro]

Okay, a picture is in order (see uploaded image), since we are talking about dreams and real relationships.

What the picture has what I want. I want what the picture has. But the picture is just a picture ... it gives me a visual and a nice idea of what it will be like to be hugged by another person, another guy who is hott and is all into you, and who is even flaunting that he has you as his guy.

What I have now is a relationship where reciprocated sex was last experiences probably 2-3 months ago. And a whole other barrage of things that may take up 3 posts to describe.

So what do I want to know ? I want to know if feelings like this or similar pictures suggest can be experienced in real life. Also I know that those feelings can be experienced in real life. But can those feelings be experienced in real life relationships that last longer than 3 months ? Or I am dreaming aren't I ?

 

[G-Lexington]

Depends, I guess. I won't speak for my partner, but I've never been hot (with one or two t's). But I feel loved, we hug in public (maybe even a quick smooch), and feel great in each other's presence. And I don't feel like I "settled". I don't think it'd be better with a "hotter" guy.

But that's me. Maybe you couldn't do that. Maybe if you hooked up with someone that looks like me, or someone else average-looking, you wouldn't really care to be seen with him. Maybe you really do need to have someone hot(t) on your arm so you can show the world what you snagged. Maybe that's an absolute necessary part of the package for you.

Not so with me.

And the guy on the left doesn't exactly look all that comfortable with the whole situation.

Lex

 

[WYSIWYG]

No your not dreaming. The pic does show feelings that can be seen and felt. I am in a relationship where we do this all the time and more....even kiss a lot after we hug.....Any dream is possible if you want it to come true.

 

[chrisdobro]

okay .. well it's not just about being hott.

Average is relative. As long as the person is sufficiently attractive to me (sexually and otherwise), I will be fine Of course the more attraction there is, the more exciting it is, but it is really the feelings of closeness and sexual closeness and sometimes kinkiness ! is what I am after.

P.S. I have better pictures. I've seen really hot pics and I am sure you have too. But if I start posting them, I think this thread will move to another forum

 

[Rand]

Relationship .... Contentment

To be content in a relationship is not to be complacent. But complacency is all too easily developed. But if you are not content, does that not mean you will continue searching?

A relationship in which both are the "lucky" ones, is one that will be fun and maybe take you were you want to go. So be "lucky" and then make sure you treat your partner so he believes he is the lucky one.

And while attraction is important, attraction is not just the visual, it is the characteristics and attitude and entire person. Work to bring yourself to that entire package too.

Good luck, and do Celebrate your life

 

[G-Lexington]

But that's just it. You're going off a picture. A visual. You're pointing to a photograph and saying I WANT THAT. That's fine if you're looking for a lamp. But not so fine when you're looking for a relationship.

I see nothing in that photo. Two modestly attractive guys with their arms around each other. I don't get this sense of wonder, of deep-felt love, of utter comfort with one another that you seem to get from it. It just looks like it was torn from a clothing catalog to me.

But assuming you're seeing what I THINK you're seeing in that photo, and assuming what you see is correct, these things don't just "happen". These two didn't run into each other on the street, fall into each other's arms, and had the photo taken an hour later. These things are built. Brick by agonizing brick. You find someone you're compatible with, you both decide to start building, and away you go. Step by step. The reason these things are so special isn't because they're so rare (although they aren't exactly that common). It's due to a sense of accomplishment. Yes, there's an element of luck, but those of us in stable LTRs didn't just win the lottery, end of story. It's a constant building, refining, stabilizing process. And one where I'm damn proud of the results.

So if your current relationship isn't headed that way - ever - you may want to re-evaluate it.

Lex

 

[chrisdobro]

ok ...

that will require some thinking and planning on my part.

the picture is from an ad. . about a venerial disease.

I do have to ask: in your avatar, what is that thing under the left arm that is green like gargoyle's skin, but too thin to look like it belongs to this gargoyle or another one.

 

[boy0boy]

Wow Lex, that is some good stuff.

Although the context of the picture changes drastically with the illumination of it being "about a venerial disease!"

 

[rareboy]

So....does this mean that you've ditched the older guy you were with? Or are you still hanging on to the security he provides while just dreaming about having the depth of a relationship between two models in a Venereal Disease ad?

It is interesting and rather that you would select something as artificial and lifeless as this as being a model for what what you are searching for in your life.

I guess all one can say is get out there and find it.

 

[JackFTwist]

a staged picture -


media is not reality


and to confuse the two is to enter in unhappiiness

 

[G-Lexington]

Off-topic, but OK. It's his "wing rib".

Lex

 

[chrisdobro]

hehehehehehe
okay
guys
you got me laughing

where else can this thread go ?

rareboy, how do you remember all this ?
rareboy, honestly I don't know what to make of your post (and other posts).
One way is to take it seriously and consider the straightforwardness of it as a push to look at myself from the outside. And more so, what it means for me – I'll need to see if I should walk out the door right now or to keep on trying to make it work. I am still with the guy.

 

[rareboy]

I would hope you take it seriously. Obviously you are woefully unhappy, but unwilling to set both of you free.

The worst thing in the world you will ever do is to stay with someone you don't love until you find someone better. It is cynical and soul destroying.

 

[chrisdobro]

love and lust are different. You can have love without lust, and I think that is pretty close to what I may have ...

and yes, I'm not ignoring your advice. I was commenting on how you put things in words. It comes out in a very direct way. So direct in fact that I ask myself if what I have is as simple as you state.

 

[chrisdobro]

now you guys were picking on my choice of picture.

Here are some different ones:

 

[rareboy]

You see, this is why some of us are confused. And I suspect why you are as well.

There's nothing about lust in the photos you're using. They show guys that are good friends and maybe even in love.
Can a person have this? Yes. For longer than three months? Yes.

And you suggest that you already have a relationship with love, not lust.

Half of what goes into a relationship is up to you.

We all understand that because of age difference between you and your partner and his medical conditions that you're bored with your sex life. You want to find hot guys for unbridled passionate sex. As long as your partner is content with this, you still have a relationship. If you want to do this behind his back, your relationship is already over.

The advice will always be the same. Fish or cut bait.