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cheated on boyfriend

A

armand247

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i really need help.. i cheated on my boyfriend and i don't know whta to do. i really really love him and i don't know what i was thinking. i feel like shit. it feels like i'm being smothered and i'm shaking. i'm going insane, i hid under my bed for a long time cus i felt like i was being chased. i have never felt this way before. i feel so scared andnconfused. i don't know know what to do. i really need help. but i don't nkwo how to get it. my heart is pounding so fucking hard. all my friends are guys. they don't know that i'm gay and i can't let them see like this. dont tell me to go kill myself cus i problably will anyways.
 
Uhm, well. . .

Was there a deeper reason for why you just cheated, or did you do it as just a silly mistake; because your hormones got the best of you?

If there's a specific REASON you cheated, and you "really really love him" like you said, you should definitely try to address the root issue, and see if that can be repaired.

If it was just hormones, then you're going to have to learn to be a little more cerebral and to think before you act in the future. Think of it as a learning experience.
 
yes i really really love him. my bf gave me raccoon eyes. and i kind of wanted to hurt him.
 
Well, I would suggest that you work this out on your own and not tell him, if your truly do care for him. It seems like most of the time that cheaters tell their bf, gf, or spouse about their infidelity is just to get relief from the guilt.

What are raccoon eyes? Dark circles from crying or did he hit you?
 
oooookay.
i was going to suggest some stuff about open relationships, and coming out to your friends.

but then you mention in passing that your bf hit you, like an after-thought.

WELL, BREAK UP WITH HIM YOU IDIOT.

you say you 'really really love' a person who hits you? you have some serious issues man, you are fucked up.

people who have to go through a domestic violence experience once are survivors. people who go through it twice with the same person had it coming.
 
I agree with x-cess. If he's beating you, even just once, your cheating is the least of your problems. Leave him and don't look back.
 
armand247 said:
i really need help.. i cheated on my boyfriend and i don't know whta to do. i really really love him and i don't know what i was thinking. i feel like shit. it feels like i'm being smothered and i'm shaking. i'm going insane, i hid under my bed for a long time cus i felt like i was being chased. i have never felt this way before. i feel so scared andnconfused. i don't know know what to do. i really need help. but i don't nkwo how to get it. my heart is pounding so fucking hard. all my friends are guys. they don't know that i'm gay and i can't let them see like this. dont tell me to go kill myself cus i problably will anyways.
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So now you feel guilty and want to know what to do.#-o If he did hit you, which is very wrong also as no one needs to be hit. Thats a excuse to leave him with your head held high, but to cheat becus of it is like 2 wrongs dont make it right. Abuse is physical hitting is wrong and I'd be out that door. But I would'nt stoop to his level and then cheat to get even and then run and hide the lie and now live in fear. If he hit b4 imagine what he might do with this piece of info. Be carefull yet honest, get it over with and fess up. If you guy's work it out then great, but don't be surprised for other issue's to come up and out.

If you did love him you would have never ever done this. A person in a relationship DOES NOT do this to someone they love.[-X

The only way you can relieve your self of some of this guilt is to be honest and tell the person you just got done hurting and fess up.

Then you need to deal with the consequences of what he will do or what you need to do.

Then you need to learn from this so you don't do it again.

But mostly Cheaters will be Cheaters again. I mean how low can one go to hurt the person they love, makes no sence. I am glad this is tearing you up inside/outside, you desierve all of the pain you are going through. Just imagine the pain you are going to put onto your bf. But what I first said up top comes first, if he did not hit you and your using that to make it sound better then this part comes in. Might be hard but what you both have done is done you can't unring the bell. Either work it out or move on....

NOt much else to say but to fess up, tell the truth, beg for forgiveness, hope you learn from and dont do it again.

Wish you luck..
 
Violence in a relationship crosses a line. You are wrong and he is wrong. I have always belived in talking things through, but , in this case that time has past. If you stay around you are going to become a serial victim.
It reads to me as though both of you could be drama queens, if you enjoy that lifestyle stay, if not , get out.
Let's know how you go.
 
If you don't see the seriousness of your partner giving you two black eyes you need to get professional help.
 
why in the name of God would you stay with someone that beats you? Not only stay with him but profess your love and feel badly for stepping out on him. My God man. pull yourself together. NOBODY deserves to be beaten by someone that supposedly loves them. That's not love. Love is kind and sweet. Love makes you want to be with that person. Not beat them. He gave you black eyes this time. What's next. A casket. You need to not only leave him but press charges for the assault.

What you did isn't right either. Cheating doesn't help anything. However that's the least of your problems. This relationship is a train wreck. Get out while your still alive. Get some help. You've been beaten and want this bastard back. Why? So he can keep using you for a punching bag? I've seen many people involved in violent relationships. It never ends. The promises of never hitting you again are empty. He will do it again and again. You have to end this. NOW.

Steven.
 
armand247 said:
i really need help.. i cheated on my boyfriend and i don't know whta to do. i really really love him and i don't know what i was thinking. i feel like shit. it feels like i'm being smothered and i'm shaking. i'm going insane, i hid under my bed for a long time cus i felt like i was being chased. i have never felt this way before. i feel so scared andnconfused. i don't know know what to do. i really need help. but i don't nkwo how to get it. my heart is pounding so fucking hard. all my friends are guys. they don't know that i'm gay and i can't let them see like this. dont tell me to go kill myself cus i problably will anyways.
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Your boyfriend beat you, so you decided to cheat on him, but now you feel guilty, and also apparently afraid of what he might do next... I hope I understand everything correctly.

I would recommend seeing a therapist. You definitely have issues that need to be dealt with that will not be solved in a chat room type setting. If you are afraid for your health/life I would suggest seeking police involvement. You never mentioned his original "excuse" for beating you, but it sounds like this might not have been the first time. Definitely contact the police. But as I said, you also need a therapist. You need to work on your self esteem, but first is ensuring your safety.
 
It's difficult to be in a healthy relationship if you're not healthy yourself.

And that's the problem here. It's not about the cheating. It's not about the black eyes (although violence in a relationship is never acceptable).

You have issues that you need to deal with. And it's probably better that you stop and deal with them.
 
This thread shouldn't be about you cheating on your boyfriend. The real issue here is the physical abuse you've suffered by him.

You need to leave him, immediately. If you are living with him, find a place of your own. Go back to live with family, or have friends who would be willing to have a roommate.

Under no circumstances should you continue to be around your boyfriend. You need to stay far away from him. You cannot love someone who would be willing to beat you to the point of physical damage to your appearance.
 
armand247 said:
yes he hit me. two blackeyes.

thanks for the advice
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:rolleyes:

So if he's "beating you", why are you under the bed, shaking like leaf, and can't have your friends see you this way? What did they think about your black eyes and this "beating" you got? Do you really think they'd care if you cheated on this guy?

If he's really beating you who cares if you cheat or not?
 
Molten, he isn't out. I'm assuming he made up some lie as to why he got the black eyes.

I find this whole story suspect though, frankly and I agree that if abuse is actually happening then the cheating is irrelevant and he should get out.
 
altlover85 said:
Molten, he isn't out. I'm assuming he made up some lie as to why he got the black eyes.

I find this whole story suspect though, frankly and I agree that if abuse is actually happening then the cheating is irrelevant and he should get out.
Click to expand...

I assumed it was made up, but since this is a "no flame zone" my original thoughts wouldn't have lasted long.

Now, my advice or anyone who cheats and feels bad about it.... guess what? Fucking deal with it! It annoys me when people whine about needing to tell their significant other. All this is, is so that the cheater can try to get the guilt of his despicable actions off his conscience so get so self-involved, tell their loved one, which only hurts them to their core. If you cheat and feel guilty, live with it, learn from it, and never cheat again!
 
armand, sounds like you wanted to be dominated and punished for your actions. Accompanied by a swelling mound of depression. When you are usually depressed you want to think of more and more depressing thoughts. You wanted to get beaten up, and get looked down upon. Usually we have weird behaviors and our chemical energies needs to be balanced back again.

I suggest to seek some professional help to diagnose your emotional stresses. But first you must leave him. Go out and do something different like biking running, Yoga, Tai Chi, to clear your negative energies away.
 
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