Chrisshoemaker001 - Archived Blog Posts

[chrisshoemaker001]

I've been waiting for that right guy to come along and sweep me off my feet but I now realize that that isn't going to happen any time soon. so I've come to a realization that love just doesn't just fall out of the sky but u have to find it and nurture it like a tender flower. as I come to this age in life I fine love to be fleeting and tiring so I'll just have to go and find this guy myself and hope I don't scare him off when I say I like him and want to go out with him. cuz after all isn't that what everyone want in life? to be loved. this is pissing me off all I want is to be with some one that care for me just as much as I care for him, but I now know that that probably wount happen any time soon either. so for now I think I'll just take a break on love untill I find that right guy to realy love.

 

[chrisshoemaker001]

There are things in life I don't understand, like why people hate and why people discriminate. I don't know why the world is such a mess and I can't seem to figure out why there are so few good people in this world. All I can do is hope, hope that one day someone will come along and help me understand this whole mess. I get so frustrated when people shut me out, because all I've been doing all my life is trying to please other people. Now I'm trying to catch up and fix myself. But I can't remember the last time I wasn't thing about what other people where thinking if me, pathetic is it not. I'm constantly worrying about what people might think of me and I'm always trying to make people happy with me. But I fear now that has had a bad out come on me and I may never be able to fix it now. I only wish people could understand what I go through everyday and how hard it is for me to say anything. This is why I never speak my mind because I wouldn't want to upset anyone. I just wish I could have someone to talk to besides my family because they don't always know how to fix things for me and there are something I wouldn't want my family to know about me. Someone I could be honest with and not have the fear of them judging me, thinking badly of me, talking about me behind my back, and all that sneaky shit. I guess I'm trying to say I want a friend, you know someone who I can trust and depend on. Someone who I could talk to about anything and someone who I could call anytime for any reason with out then having the least bit of care what time it is but if I'm ok. I need a good friend because the friend I have now, well let me just say there ok but there not always there for me when I need them. I need the kind of friend I could cry on and they would be there to comfort me and not make fun of me for crying. But I don't know if I'll ever find that person if they even exists.