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Christmas love it or hate it

I woke up this morning out of a dream sleep and realized again why I am so ambivalent about Christmas.

It is because of the incredibly fraught imposition of expectation.

And this started back in childhood.

My mother was so intent on the perfect Christmas that it was always traumatic when this this didn;t pan out.

I look back and wish my parents hadn't tried so hard to fill our lists...but on the other hand, knowing how disappointed we were when they weren't.

Over the years, personal tragedy including death and illnesses have undone Christmas for a number of years and you can never predict it. COVID did it again and now this year, we are re-organizing plans every few days as people are ill, recovering, injured et.

And that is why I have looked at this holiday with some dread since I was 6 or 7.
Ah, I remember when I had to make up the toys I hadn't received for Xmas to keep my kindergarten teacher happy when she asked us to draw them... because it was the crisis of the late 1970s, I guess, and my parents couldn't afford paying for as much plastic grot as they used to a few years before... particularly when I didn't actually give a fuck about toys or Christmas (I don't about my birthday, how could I...) ... may be the reason why they say I would throw them all out the window to have the hungry peasants at the bottom floor steal keep them.
 
With time it becomes so trite: Christmas is definitely for kids still discovering the world and getting wowed by anything glittery and showy, and swallowing whatever may be marketed to them as "special"... and who have not had enough time to get tired to death by the same torturing background sleighs and jingles, the mediocre to rotten bad tunes, the harrowing invitations to overspend in overpriced gaudy trash... and not sickened by the contrast of the fake well-wishing and goodiness with all what goes on the whole year round, even in Christmas times. The time that makes you appreciate the Charons of the world as the closest thing to "angels" on earth, and the "good normal" people as the true scrooges and grinches on it.
 
I like and dislike it at the same time! I like the decorations and lights but LOATHE L.E.D. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! "But they are better for the environment PHOOEY! if you have energy star appliances LED light bulbs conserve water you are doing enough for the environment! I like the more vintage things than the new in your face stupid decorations (anything and everything shit emoji!) I like Christmas movies but the older stuff everything on hallmark and made for tv is the same cookie cutter trash! I like baking but am the one that does it there is a claim of the rents willing to help yet one will tear my kitchen apart and the other will help on her time then bitch n moan she didn't get done what she "needed" to get done! Same goes for cooking the bloody meal I shop for it, I prepare it I clean it! I think I would like it a while lot more if I got USEABLE HELP from 2 fully grown adults in their 50's/60's! Like the gifts but have a hard time coming up with anything I actually need or want! The thing I want most is a SORELY NEEDED VACATION! Havent gotren a christmas card in 10 years from anyone outside family that lives in the house! See all these commercials that feature holiday get togethers parties and I long for that It's always a quiet christmas the 4 of us I wouldn't mind something bigger I think another thing is its always the same thing and it gets boring! Í also hate seeing all these extravagant gifts on my Facebook feed that my friends get just makes me feel bad! And yes lonely too! Nothing compares to that wretched alone feeling at the stroke of midnight NYE! no one to kiss so I hold my money and tip my glass back for I know the rest of the year will be just like this moment!
 
^Sorry to hear all that! I know from experience how hard it is. (I'm totally alone every year, now, through the whole holiday season. It gets me, sometimes, when I hear some whine about how hard it is doing all the social stuff in December. Part of me gets t hat. But I don't think those people get how hard it is to be totally alone.)
 
L.E.D. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!

LED lights? As in more than one light? How can anyone have more than one single light!? Are people trying to murder the planet upon which we live?

Every family should have one light. They can vote what color it can be. Or maybe rotate--green one year, red the next...

:lol:
 
L.E.D. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! "But they are better for the environment PHOOEY! if you have energy star appliances LED light bulbs conserve water you are doing enough for the environment!
I haven't looked very carefully at lights lately, but I remember hating LED lights I've seen in the past. But I've head that they have improved/some brands better/etc.

When I was young, we'd decorate tress that used a lot of power. Primary lighting were C7 bulbs. 2 strands. Plus a bunch of bubbling lights, which probably used as much power. (They used the C7 bulb base.) You'd plug our tree in, and lights for a three county region would dim momentarily. :LOL:

At the end of my mother's life, we weren't in our own home at Christmas, so we didn't have a tree. But I remember commenting that when things returned to normal, maybe we should shift to mini lights. (Well, we had them--but they were blinking decoration, not actual lighting.) She shot that idea down, fast.

I did't bother decorating a tree at all for years after she was gone. For a few years, I'd decorate a tree. I used mini lights, feeling they were good enough. But added a small strand of C7 lights (with a couple of bubble llight bulbs) that I could use for old time's sake. It's funny--I never really partiuclarly liked the C7 bulbs when I was young. They were just...functional lighting. The flahisng mini lights and the bubble lights more fun. But I like C7 bulbs better now. They remind me a bit of another time. And the nature of the light is something I don't see from any newer light. Sure, they can copy the rough shape--adn they do--but the light is still a bright, clear modern light, not the bright, colorful, warm light that I see from C7 bulbs.
 
I haven't looked very carefully at lights lately, but I remember hating LED lights I've seen in the past. But I've head that they have improved/some brands better/etc.

When I was young, we'd decorate tress that used a lot of power. Primary lighting were C7 bulbs. 2 strands. Plus a bunch of bubbling lights, which probably used as much power. (They used the C7 bulb base.) You'd plug our tree in, and lights for a three county region would dim momentarily. :LOL:

At the end of my mother's life, we weren't in our own home at Christmas, so we didn't have a tree. But I remember commenting that when things returned to normal, maybe we should shift to mini lights. (Well, we had them--but they were blinking decoration, not actual lighting.) She shot that idea down, fast.

I did't bother decorating a tree at all for years after she was gone. For a few years, I'd decorate a tree. I used mini lights, feeling they were good enough. But added a small strand of C7 lights (with a couple of bubble llight bulbs) that I could use for old time's sake. It's funny--I never really partiuclarly liked the C7 bulbs when I was young. They were just...functional lighting. The flahisng mini lights and the bubble lights more fun. But I like C7 bulbs better now. They remind me a bit of another time. And the nature of the light is something I don't see from any newer light. Sure, they can copy the rough shape--adn they do--but the light is still a bright, clear modern light, not the bright, colorful, warm light that I see from C7 bulbs.
The only LED c7's that look good are Tru Tone but fuck are they expensive 35+ for the bulbs alone and about 22.95 for the strand sold separately of course!
 
I woke up this morning out of a dream sleep and realized again why I am so ambivalent about Christmas.

It is because of the incredibly fraught imposition of expectation.

And this started back in childhood.

My mother was so intent on the perfect Christmas that it was always traumatic when this this didn;t pan out.

I look back and wish my parents hadn't tried so hard to fill our lists...but on the other hand, knowing how disappointed we were when they weren't.

Over the years, personal tragedy including death and illnesses have undone Christmas for a number of years and you can never predict it. COVID did it again and now this year, we are re-organizing plans every few days as people are ill, recovering, injured et.

And that is why I have looked at this holiday with some dread since I was 6 or 7.
My mom's "perfect Christmas" dream was ALWAYS a perfect nightmare for the rest of us. I think that is why I avoid holidays - PTSD makes an appearance when I think about it.
 
20181211-14924669w.jpg
 
I think I got it:

Picture it that "Christmas" were making kalimotxo with Rioja, and the "good" people were taking me for a Grinch and a Scrooge who hates Rioja, or wine in general, for not being very slap-happy with it all.
 
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