I used to douche to excessive means when I was young. Now, I find it grating, especially when guys these days more than when I was in my 20's seem to be flakes. Nothing annoys me more than spending an hour or two douching for a guy that doesn't end up showing, or lasts only 5 mins with an average dick.
I have a few thoughts on this, but it's the kind of thing that requires honest conversations most gay men aren't willing to have. Firstly, there's this cognitive dissonance gay men do about anal sex. Just because in the throes of passion, one may demand their top to fuck their pussy, doesn't mean it's actually a pussy. The butthole is the entry point into the rectum which is the exit point of excrement and waste of the human body. Like that's a FACT. As much as it is as fact that it is also full of nerve ending which can give endless amount of pleasure and even aid or lead to orgasm. That's fact. Two things can be true at the same time, and we don't need to deny one or the other. Hey, there's even research that suggest people can achieve orgasm from a bowel movement because passing stool can arouse the prostate. It is, what it is. Faecal matter is the big no, no in terms of the ick factor. I personally thing there are things people do sexually that are pretty whacked and gross in relation to scat, but hey... different strokes for different folk.
I find it very interesting that we are currently in such a moment of hyper PC politics when it comes to sex and people are all about dismantling those binaries, and yet people stick to heterosexist, gendered binaries when talking about 'tops' and 'bottoms'. What is expected of a bottom and what is allowed to slide on a top. Generally, a bottom is expected to be, as a straight man expects his woman. Keep dismantling those binaries folks. Sarcasm aside, the butthole is a vagina. Ask a woman about it. Generally they have both a butthole and a vagina. Ask her if her butthole perform the same things as does her vagina.
I haven't had sex in 5 months. The last guy I had sex with had a big dick. I would always douche for him, probably two or three hours before he would be due to show up. Funny enough, he'd be coming right after work and no one will inquire whether he showers and scrubs his balls or even his asshole, but somehow as a bottom I'm just expected to walk around with a hose up my ass out of respect. Now, me and the guy I last had sex with would actually go on sex marathons. We would fuck for an hour or two, he'd cum, take a nap, fuck me again. Scat is not his thing, and I can respect that. But he also respects me enough to not just dump a lot and go. I used to hook up with another guy who had a smaller penis. And I never actually worried about having an accident with him, and found one rinse or two would be good enough. The thing was, he wanted to incorporate toys into our fun. So now we're talking more douching.
Here's the other part of the conversation that's not wanted to have. How big is he? If a guy is on the smaller side, you don't have to spend hours. If he's average, maybe one or two. In MY experience, again, MY experience, the bigger the guy, the more you're going to do -toys, fisting- the more you'll need to clean out. Also, are you spending the night together? Do you think they'll be morning sex? This is where a nice guy comes into play. A guy who is mature and understand that at the end of the day you're fucking the place where ALL human beings regardless of sex and gender, including him excrete waste from, he'll know that accidents happen. The human body does its thing. Digestion happens. Farting also happens during anal sex. Sometimes if a top feel a bit uncomfortable, you have to let out some gas. Sometimes if a top feels uncomfortable, you have to go sit on the toilet and push. Maybe nothing comes out, maybe something does, but your rectum is also reactive. And by the way, so is his rectum. So is everyone's. There's a very famous book written in 1977, it's called "Everyone Poops" and sometimes, I think it would do gay men some good to read it.
Look, I'm a romantic at heart. I love nothing more than a taking me out for dinner, drinking some wine, making out on his couch while listening to jazz, having him kiss me down my body, going lower till he starts eating me out and turning me on. I love 69ing a guy, and sitting on his rock hard cock, and spending the whole night making love till we blissfully cum, and sleep in each other's arms and in the morning he offers me warm croissants and chocolate, before making love again in the morning. In this fantasy that I've just shared, there's no shit. It's idyllic. I'm actually sensitive to scent and it's one of my BIGGEST turn ons. I love the smells of a freshly showered guys and his fragrance in the morning, but I also love the scent of a guy at the end of the day, where his perfume and body scent have intermingled so perfectly. There are scents I don't much like. There are scents I like in idea only. Sometimes when you're spooning a guy, and you're kissing his back, the scent of his unwashed hair comes into the scene. I'm not much fond of the smell of unwashed hair. Do I say something, ruin the moment? Or do I enjoy his warm body on my chest and the sound of his heart beat as he's watching something on his phone. If he farts, do I get prissy about it, or do I enjoy the tremor of his voice when he starts commenting on that youtube video he's watching?
I don't know man. Also, not everyone is the same right? There's are plenty of horror stories from people who douche and still have accidents. Meme pages are constantly talking aobut it much to the chagrin of gay men who don't like to be reminded that buttsex might entail an accident at some point or another. Some people have suggested Psyllium husk, I took that stuff once and it was... well, if you're into scat and wanna hear the story, I'll leave it there. I've tried laxatives. Like, if I know I'm going to play for long hours and with heavy toys, I'll take a laxative two days before. Laxatives usually work within 24 hours for me. Then everything goes out, everything. Remember: laxatives absorb fluids from your body so you'll finish by flushing fluids. Then you can do an enema to wash off whatever trace is left, because be sure that traces of faecal matter are still around after a dump. I've heard many pornstars say they douche and then take Imodium.
This is what I suggest if you want to be safe. Try with yourself. On a day when you are on your own. Take a dump and use your
dildo See how it does. Douche and use your
dildo and see how it goes. Then you'll be able to say what works for you.
Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
