Closeted College Student in Boston - looking for support resources

[lickya42000]

Hi,

I'm a college student in Boston (sophomore). I'm not at all out; in fact all my friends think I'm straight. I've been feeling frustrated (mentally and sexually) because I just want to meet other young gays. I can't act on it because of one huge reason: I'm not out. The issue here is not when should I come out (I already know and its when I am ready). But the my situation is: I want to meet other gays and those who just came out. I want to be comfortable with being gay myself and the only step to do that is to meet others that are gay. What resources do you guys recommend for a person like me in the Boston area? By the way, I'm not going to join my school's GBLT group because of I know people there. I would like to do something where I wouldn't worry about seeing a person who already knows me. Perhaps you all could tell me of other options (ANYTHING!!). Also, please describe what experiences or anything you know about your suggestions. Please, I'm so stressed out!!

Thanks so much.

 

[Roland00]

Boston is a major gay and lesbian city, finding resources shouldn't be that big of an issue (if I recall there is 3 distinct gay villiages in Boston)

http://www.glnh.org/find/northeast.html
http://www.glyp.com/directory.aspx?city=Boston

 

[bostonboy20]

Well i don't really know of too many groups or anyting in this area...just cause i've never looked into it really....and i know you don't wanna join GLBT...but does your school have a GSA(Gay/Straight Alliance) that way they wouldn't automatically think you're gay...since straight people are in that club too. If you're old enough...maybe try hitting up some of the bars in Boston...Club Cafe is kind of a chill place to meet other gay people...or as another option use a site like manhunt.net to meet guys...not neccessarily for a hook up...but for friends...there are plenty of guys on there just looking for people to chill with.

Hopefully some of this helped...i know what you're going through though...i've been totally closeted up until this past saturday when i told my best friend i was bi...and now i'm kinda like well damn was it the rigth time to do that cause i don't knwo if i'm ready to tell anyone else....but yeah...PM me anytime if you wanna just unload about anything!

 

[Soilwork]

I'm sure that there's gotta be a gay youth group in Boston.

when I was 19 I joined up with a group called "LGYT", the Lesbian and Gay Youth of Toronto.

rocked.

I met lots of gay guys and girls my age, and made lots of friends while talking about gay issues and dealing with coming out.

best thing I ever did.

try BAGLY (the Boston area Gay and Lesbian Youth group)

http://www.bagly.org/community/

 

[Syn]

Hey lickya,
Boston is fairly well for gays and lesbians. The first time I got here I checked out The Male Center on Columbus Ave. )http://www.malecenter.org/) They offered a gay guy's guide to Boston which included some info on AIDS, safety on hookups and bars and the addresses on some bars in Boston. They also stressed that if you just wanna stop by and hang out that's ok too. The next time you go to a bookstore pick up the magazine Uncommon Bostonian. In the back they have some resources for gay and lesbians such as Beantown Bowling in Cambridge which I'm considering joining and other events where people just sit down and talk for support, especially if you're just beginning to come out. In general just keep your eyes and ears open, look for pride flags hanging in book stores and restaurants. If you need any help or you have questions let me know. Good luck!

 

[lickya42000]

Thanks you all for those suggestions!! My semester is winding up very quickly and I dont' have time right now to explore the suggestions you guys made. Maybe I'll try them out when I get back in '07.

Any more helpful resources? The BAGLY thing looks cool, but I don't know what to expect if I go there... Anyone know?

Thanks again to those with their advice.

 

[Soilwork]

What to expect:

Lots of young gay guys and girls in a non-sexually chraged atmosphere who are close to your age and also looking to meet some gay friends, maybe someone to date, maybe someone to go check out a dance club...

There will be discussions, there will be a bit of socializing and after meetings you'll probably go to a nearby place and grab a coffee.

You'll probably meet a few guys your age who are also not only looking for friends but maybe friends to come out WITH. You know, coming out alone isn't nearly as easy as it is to have gay friends who are going through exactly the same thing.



One thing I say ALL the time is that the best way to meet gay friends is to meet them doing something you like to do anyway.

I joined a gay motorcycle club, but you can join a gay bowling team, a gay baseball or hockey team, a gay cycle group... anything that you like to do.

If you dont' HAVE a hobby, what better time to explore a new one?

you'll be able to meet gay men with whom you have someting in common, something to talk about, and you'll meet them in an atmospehre that isn't a bar full of drunk and horney guys.

isn't that really what you're looking for?

 

[lickya42000]

What to expect:

You'll probably meet a few guys your age who are also not only looking for friends but maybe friends to come out WITH.

I checked out the BAGLY site and (although I could be wrong) most guys in there are in high school. Can I expect to see some young college students like me?

Thanks for the advice - I really appreciate it.

 

[Soilwork]

Most likely, although you might wanna give them a call and see.

Or just drop by... no harm in scoping out for youself.

 

[jamie_01930]

you might benefit from a site I put up
www.jiffy-photo.com/gic.html
When I was coming out and in need of friends I was at a loss as to find what was where. Any how I have lots of links that you might find of interest.

 

[hermanding]

hope sooo much you find those you need to come out with and be comfortable with and be supported by and give support to. when you do come out, you will be in the sun and free of so much baggage and obstacles to such small things in daily life. any listening you need, forum hand holding, send me a msg. The more of us that are out, the stronger all of us are - the more the world knows how many of us there are - and individually, each one of us is healthier. ding

 

[drhladnjak]

I'd recommend contacting the part of your university that handles mental health services for students. Most student health type places have a coming out support group or similar. Usually they're confidential and focused on helping you achieve your coming out goals.