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Clubbing for the first time???

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1208Rob

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So my friend is a go go dancer at a gay club in San Francisco. He bugs me everyday to go and I think I'm just going to go tomorrow (Thursday night)...it's 18+ every Thursday...I'm not 21 yet....but I have seriously been so nervous and anxious about it. Everyone tells me I need to get more into the gay scene because I'm young and I don't have a whole lot of gay friends. I think it would be good for me but at the same time I don't know if I'm going to be comfortable going! I love dancing, but I don't know how I would feel about dancing with a bunch of strangers. I also get really shy around guys...especially in situations like this. I especially don't plan on hooking up with somebody, or even making out with somebody I don't know. That's not my thing. I'm just so worried that I'm not going to know what to do or what to say and that I'm going to either get bored, or feel awful and then want to leave. But my friend is putting so much pressure on me he is saying that I'm on the guest list and that if I don't go it will make him look stupid...I do want to have fun, I just don't want to go there and hate it. Part of me really wants to go. Part of me doesn't. I want to bring a friend but there's no room for an extra person in my friend's car. My car won't make it from where I live to San Francisco, it's old!

I'm even having trouble sleeping because I keep thinking about the worst possible things that could happen to me there...

What should I expect???

My friends keep telling me I'll meet a lot of guys there who I could date and stuff but I feel like people go there go get drunk and just want to hook up or make out with strangers...not my thing! I want to make friends and date around but I just don't think I'll find that there...
 
Go to show your respect to your friend, it apparent that he wants you there very much. If you find it's not for you, just excuse yourself to your friend and leave.

I have always had to force myself to go to places, and usually I find that I have a good time when I get there.
 
But my friend is putting so much pressure on me he is saying that I'm on the guest list and that if I don't go it will make him look stupid...First off friends dont put pressure on each other to do something they dont want to do...I dont believe you have to hit the clubs to be part of the gay scene...there are gay groups who get together for the sake of meeting new people,raising funds for a good cause etc..and imo they are just as much in not more a part of the gay scene because they are promoting the gay life in a positive...I get the feeling you are not the bar type but prefer to meet more people in a social; setting as to avoid unwanted sexual advances..nothing wrong with that! however I would go and if you decide you are not comfortable there just leave...at the least you will know if you are the bar type or not and then can decide in which direction you want your life to go in meeting people..And if the unwanted advances start just say no thanks and most of the time the guy will move on..Good luck!
 
yeah im hoping i can just bring a friend and ill just take my car i guess and if i find that im not having fun ill leave. but i guess i really have nothing to lose. if i hate it, i dont ever have to go back!
 
I think your friend wants you to be there for support. Since he put you on the list, it must be a special night for him. Just go and enjoy the the evening the best you can.

I am quite shy myself and do not enjoy the club much either. But occassionly I will go with a friend. I usually have a good time once I am there. Most of the guys are very kind. I have net some new friends there and that is what they are friends. They do mixed with all my friends str8 or gay.

8591paul stated it very well "if the unwanted advances start just say no thanks and most of the time the guy will move on." I have never had any problems. Good luck and just relax and make the best of it. I am sure you will be surprised somewhat.
 
I think you have a stereotypical idea of what a gay club is. Not everyone hunts someone down for a one nighter, etc.

I usually find the opposite. Most men go as a couple and meet other friends, drink, and dance. yes, there are single guys, who might ask you to dance. Since you like to dance, it isn't a commitment. Most clubs I have been to, single guys find a spot on the dance floor and dance alone also.

Try It You'll Like It, as the old cereal commercial says! If not, as stated, you can leave at any time. GO with a positive attitude and you will have a positive experience. (At least you will know if you want to go again anyway.)
 
If your friend instead asked you to watch him compete in a volleyball game, would you go? If the answer is yes, than go.

If you are concerned that the "wrong" person will try to hit on you, just smile and in a friendly manner excuse yourself and head for the bathroom. Then just move to the other side of the bar. You won't have any major problems - remember your friend will be there, and as a dancer he has a direct line to the bouncer.

Are you afraid of "freezing" up and having nothing to say? Then as an icebreaker try telling one of the stories on the following link. After all, many Jubbers have walked (and danced!) in your shoes before you.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73310

Good Luck!
 
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