Cocktales - Archived Blog Posts

[cocktales]

Something tells me Christmas is here:

1. Snow storm alert - "uneven layer of loose dry snow covering ground completely" (Dec 23rd snow report)

2. People have gone all f*cking crazy in doing their last minute shopping. We should invent a term called "shopping rage" just for this time of the year.

3. Nothing on TV. The Apprentice is done. So is Survivor.

4. What's worse than #4 ... they are broadcasting Sound of Music AGAIN!!!

5. Old British friends reminded me to "cut out the Happy Holidays (politically correct term) crap, it's bloody Christmas, matey!"

 

[cocktales]

...........OK, so I didn't write it! LOL

Understanding others is knowledge,
Understanding oneself is enlightenment;
Conquering others is power,
Conquering oneself is strength;
Contentment is wealth,
Forceful conduct is willfulness;
Not losing one’s rightful place is to endure,
To die but not be forgotten is longevity.

LAO TZU


**2004 is almost over!

Cock

 

[cocktales]

There’s no initiation or blessing into gay manhood.

Older gay men are afraid to come forward and be role models, lest they be accused of trying to satisfy their personal desires. Therefore, young gay men suffer by having no mentors. In fact, many younger gay men say they are not interested in having anyone teaching them about gay life.

I always feel grief when a man older than me—in his 50s, 60s, even 70s—asks me (because I am out) what the gay culture is like: It should be the other way around! They tell me that younger gay men are not interested in them for social or romantic reasons, and that younger gay men look right through them, making them feel invisible.

At age 13, I was initiated into Jewish manhood in my Bar Mitzvah. As the joke goes, “Today, I’m a man! Tomorrow, eighth grade!” Although still a boy, I was initiated into manhood through prayer and celebration.

As gay men, we don’t receive anyone’s blessings. Very few mentors come forward to be available to gay and lesbian youth. A lesbian comic (whose name escapes me) joked that when she grew up, her role models were Dr. Smith of “Lost In Space” and Ms. Hathaway of “Beverly Hillbillies”!

What kind of gay and lesbian role models, she joked, were these?

In Gay Spirit Warrior: An Empowerment Workbook for Men Who Love Men, John R. Stowe writes: “Imagine a society different from our own, in which older gay men are treated with honor. Imagine a Council of Gay Elders who sit together in order to share wisdom and advice with the entire Tribe.

Imagine going to this Council--being sent by your parents, even—the moment you first recognized your attraction to other men. Imagine sharing your concerns with a silver-haired mentor, a man like yourself who loves other men and who listens to you with respect. Imagine how you’d feel about yourself if you could call on this man’s guidance, insight, humor and perspective whenever you need it.”

I love what he says, and would like to pave the way to help create something like this. Society may not give us permission, but you can always give yourself permission.

I ask that we honor the gay elders and mentors around us.

This need not be age appropriate: a gay role model or elder is anyone who has been out and around longer than you.

Why not visit your gay role model or elder this week and tell them you appreciate their support and advice and they are here. I'm certain all of us are aware of older Gays in our community; are they respected or looked down on by the younger community?? What are they called these days anyway?

It is important to cherish those we have around us today! You know we've lost so very many older people as well as young to AIDS! Some of our most talented people, all gone; but I do hope they are NOT forgotten!

Please, don't forget, never!

 

[cocktales]

I have been following the news of the devastation that was brought on by Tsunamis caused by an undersea earthquake to the magnitude of 9.0 off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia.

In the Aceh province in northern Indonesia, 25% of the population is said to be dead!!! WTF?

The news media is predicting that the death toll could top 100,000.

In Thailand, many vacation spots were enjoying peak season visitors when the giant waves collapsed on them, turning the resorts into watery graves. Reports that at least 1,600 foreigners were dead and 3,500 were unaccounted for.

The pictures of unidentified/unfound rotting and decomposing bodies littering the shorelines and streets are horrible. The number of people dead could rise because of the lack of food, water, medical supplies and the spread of the disease.

I was just telling Ron a few days before the Tsunamis struck that South Asian people were used to turbulent weather like tropical storms, cyclones and typhoons. It was just a way of life. They are a resilient people.

But the magnitude of this has surpassed anything I could have imagined.

I am in shock.

During the Viet Nam Conflict, I went on R & R (Rest and Recuperation) to Pattay Beach, south of Bangkok.......it was wonderful. This quiet, beautiful, unspoiled beach with just nice people around and some German and Norwegian tourists. I saw pictures that reminded me of Pattaya and can imagine the destruction of that paradise too! I wonder how many died there too?

Ron and I sent two contributions to different charities and we will probably send more.....

Why do I feel guilty for being safe and having so much? Is it that end of year thingy where you get a sense of self-reflection of what you have and so forth? I hope so, cause I don't want to have these feelings of regret and hopelessness.....

I just hope 2005 will bring hope to these millions of people affected by this terrible, terrible tragedy....in the world, cause this affects the whole world!!!

Shalom to all.......into 2005 we go!!

Le Cock

 

[cocktales]

How butch is this:

we go to Arizona Charlie's, a local Hotel/Casino every Monday night for Monday Night football (MNF) shown on the big screen in one of their large bars (The Naughty Ladies Bar). The Casino gives out tickets when you enter as well as having a drawing for a large prize at the end of each game for a helmet signed by one of the game's participants: this year we've had Brett Favre's helmet signed by him, Dan Marino's helmet, Donovan McNabb's, Jerry Rice's, Peyton Manning's, and others....one each of the 16 weeks!

I won Dan Marino's autographed helmet!!!! Lucky me!!

I practically had to beg Ron to join me and an older heterosexual couple; but now he said last night, "You know I am going to miss going to Monday Night Football"!!! Go figger! lol

We also have won at the MNF: Kurt Warner's St. Louis Rams autographed jersey

and Carolina Panther Quarterback Jake Duhomme's autographed helmet!!

These articles are worth a lot on Ebay, I've seen them bid for over $500.00 and higher!!

The whole purpose is to get out of the house and just have some fun. I usually make two bets on the game: one for the first half and one for the second half: I've won over $1500.00 this year!!

We've got to think of something else to do for the next few months until September when MNF comes back again!!!

 

[cocktales]

The recent tsunami disaster in Asia -- has claimed over 140,00 lives -- has prompted some serious theological questioning.

Was God in This Disaster?

I don't believe that a mass disaster, in and of itself, tells us anything about God. I don't believe in a God who punishes through disaster. The disaster is. That is exactly the way I would understand it, without adding my own interpretation, without supplying a meaning or completing the sentence.

The disaster is.

The tragedy is.

And I need to abide with it, and feel it, instead of seeking an answer, because the answers just make me complacent and take me away from the children on the beach, and the father with the dead child in his arms.

There is no God in the disaster.

I think there is God in the response, in the human hearts of those who are feeling and responding to this, the families and neighbors of the victims, and the rest of us, the bystanders, and us, too. The whole world is feeling it.

I agree wholeheartedly that we can see the hand of the God in the response to the disaster, in the overwhelming display of compassion and support from people all over the world. (Two of the many fine organizations providing relief and assistance to the tsunami victims are the Rainbow World Fund and Episcopal Relief and Development.) ....and many, many more fine organizations.....

We often search for meaning in such tragic events in order to distance ourselves from the victims. If I can find a reason for people's suffering, I don't have to deal with the suffering people themselves. The search for a reason takes us away from our hearts and puts us in our heads, trying to figure it all out.

"There is no God in the disaster."

As a panentheist, I believe that all things are in God, and God is in all things. So I do believe God was in the tsunami -- but that doesn't mean that God caused the tsunami. I believe God can bring good out of bad events, but it doesn't necessarily follow that God caused the bad events in order to bring about the good.

The search for meaning in tragic events, or in the face of outright evil, is as old as the books of Job and Ecclesiastes in the Hebrew Scriptures. There will always be those who seek to find blame for disasters

-- as Jerry Falwell did following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, when he said: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'" (Later, of course, Falwell "apologized" and said he didn't really mean what he had said.) Yeah right, with his fingers crossed behind his back, he apologized alright!!!


I am an optimist in my thinking about most everything and hope this will bring the world closer together...that out of this horrible disaster, the out-pouring of money, things and people's acts, will show those in need that the world really cares about them.....

So, it doesn't matter if you are religious or atheist or agnostic or simply "nothing", you have to have been touched by the events of the Tsunami! So many innocent people killed.....they hardly knew what hit them, it happened so fast!!

May the families and friends of the lost find peace and solace somewhere, somehow!!!

Shalom!

 

[cocktales]

I don’t know about you but the first few days of January for me always re-verb with a different kind of energy. The air crackles with the collective anticipation of the full year ahead. Many see it as another chance to start afresh in the different aspects of our lives. Plans for and with loved ones are mapped out, financial targets are set, fitness and health programs are reviewed and adjusted…

Sigh. Don’t you love having the chance to seek new avenues in attacking problems and issues, see things in a new light? The New Year is always the best chance, and the reason why control freaks (eh em, risk assessors, eh em, like yours truly) pore through every detail of plans, some ask for the blessing of the gods and the help of the saints and the spirits, decking themselves with all kinds of charms and amulets for luck.

And luck we can all afford to have: in business, in the family, in love…And Chinese or not, regardless of religion, beliefs and values, it is usually interesting to listen to/get predictions and advise on how to bring in luck, well, um, just to see if they would come true.

There are many ways to predict the future. Some use the alignment of the planets/stars, some use the different kinds of tarot cards, then there are tea leaves, runes, I Ching cards, the Ouija board, magic and wizardry, psychic powers, and then there is the more familiar Chinese horoscope.

Curious about where the inquiry on the Year of the Rooster would lead me, I merely followed the links in Google and put together what I found. The bits and pieces of information came out interesting. Here goes.

2005: The Year of the Rooster


In Chinese astrology, “the lunar calendar has a 60-year cycle,” made up of the combination of the twelve animal signs and the five basic elements of water, fire, earth, metal and wood. Each combination reveals the ‘personality traits’ of a person. Some years, the element involved works well with the animal, in some years, against, thus interpretation of the combinations can be very tricky (since that is not within the writer’s powers, you would not find predictions for the year on this page, sorry).

2005 is the Year of the (Wood) Rooster.

It starts on 09 February 2005 and ends on 28 January 2006.

Believer in horoscopes or not, here’s the challenge: see if you know any rooster and identify the “rooster traits” they manifest. Raise the challenge one notch: if you like the “rooster traits” as described below, you have more than enough time to bring a rooster into your life.

Rooster years

1801, 1813, 1825, 1837, 1849, 1861, 1873, 1885, 1897, 1909, 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993

The rooster traits

Banidoso; expects from himself and others high standards in conduct and dressing; basically conservative; practical and resourceful; although quick thinking, they are cautious; moody; eccentric; finds joy in solitary activities; keenly observant/ attentive to details; the ‘proverbial open book,’ the rooster prefers to tell the truth and keep his/her word; they make devoted friends.

The wood element

The element of wood suggests growth, creation, expansion like the rings of the tree trunk, and nourishment cycles. It also suggests strength, and passivity.

The famous rooster-born

Confucius - Born in 551 BC, in the state of Lu. Famous for the philosophy that evolved from his phrases and theories on law and governance, and life in general: “If you enjoy what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life;” “Do not do unto others what you do not want done unto you;” and “They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.”

Benjamin Franklin - Born on 17 January 1706 in Boston, Massachusetts. A scientist, inventor, stateman (signer of the Declaration of Independence and of the Treaty of Alliance with France, promoted the abolition of slavery), philosopher, musician and an economist. Inventions: bifocal eyeglasses, odometer, flexible urinary catheter, lightning rod (not electricity) that protected buildings and ships from lightning damage.

Catherine the Great - Born on 21 April 1729 in Stettin (then Germany, now Poland). The Internet Modern History Sourcebook describes Catherine II as an ambitious person, whose love affairs (’hundreds’ of them, and with younger men at that) almost eclipsed her success as a monarch, who “followed Peter the Great in seeing Russia (which has been part of an Asian Empire for centuries) as a European Power,” expanding the Russian Empire’s territory by “about 200,000 square miles.”

Richard Wagner - Born on 22 May 1813 in Leipzig. One of the world’s greatest composers. He believed that theater was not just for entertainment, but that it should be “the center of a community’s culture.”

William Faulkner - Born on 25 September 1897, in New Albany, Mississippi, William Cuthbert Falkner (as his family name was then spelled) was a Nobel prize winning novelist and short story writer who started finding school a bore at 6th grade (he never finished high school). To be able to follow the complex plot of “A Fable,” he wrote the outline of the novel on the walls of his office. He wrote for television and film, and his “Requiem For A Nun” was adapted for stage.

Corazon Cojuangco-Aquino - Born on 25 January 1933 in Tarlac, she became the first woman president of the Republic of the Philippines on 26 February 1986, two and a half years after her husband Benigno Aquino Jr., was assassinated. Her administration restored democratic governance in the country, surviving economic difficulties and six coup attempts.

Other famous rooster personalities: Verdi, Rachmaninoff, Johann Strauss, Nancy Kerrigan, Michelle Pfeiffer, Goldie Hawn, Katherine Hepburn, Larry King, Eric Clapton, Bette Midler, Steve Martin

Rat 1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996
Ox 1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997
Tiger 1926 1938 1950 1962 1974 1986 1998
Rabbit 1927 1939 1951 1963 1975 1987 1999
Dragon 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976 1988 2000
Snake 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977 1989 2001
Horse 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978 1990 2002
Goat 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979 1991 2003
Monkey 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980 1992 2004
Rooster 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981 1993 2005
Dog 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982 1994 2006
Pig 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983 1995 2007

Rooster compatibility with other signs according to Shelly Wu

(1-least compatible, 100-most compatible):
rat - 66 - steamy, yes, but not lasting
ox - 86 - you are lucky enough to find each other
tiger - 55 - not a balanced relationship
rabbit - 53 - well, maybe not
dragon - 72 - balanced but not passionate
snake - 90 - a love connection, omens favorable
horse - 58 - if they must, but not recommended
goat - 42 - they’ll be unhappy, even they pretend
monkey - 75 - probably, who knows
rooster- 33 - it will be a miracle if it works!
dog - 63 - only if it’s absolutely necessary
pig - 81 - the pig is patient, it could work

Historic rooster years

1909 - William Howard Taft, the first civil governor of the Philippines, becomes the 27th President of the USA.

1921 - Reparations Committee fixes German (WWII) liability at 132 billion gold marks. Texaco starts marketing and distribution of petroleum products in the Philippines.

1933 - Hitler becomes German chancellor and gets dictatorial powers. Nazi terror begins. Germany and Japan withdraw from the League of Nations. Inauguration of President Franklin Roosevelt, launched the New Deal which aimed to revive the US economy, and the Prohibition was repealed. USSR is recognized by the US.

1945 - Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin plan for the final defeat of Germany. Roosevelt dies of cerebral hemorrhage on 12 April. Hitler commits suicide. Germany surrenders. US bombs Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The US liberates the Philippines from the Japanese. The UN is established on 26 June. The first electronic computer (ENIAC) is built.

1957 - The Space Age begins: the Russians launch Sputnik, the first earth-orbiting satellite. President Ramon Magsaysay dies in a plane crash and Carlos Garcia succeeded him.

1969 - Violent conflict between the NYC police and homosexuals (Stonewall riot) marks the beginning of the modern gay rights movement worldwide. Apollo 11 astronauts take man’s first walk on the moon. Educational television takes a big leap with Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch as Sesame Street starts airing. The Internet is born: UCLA connects with the Stanford Research Institute. President Ferdinand Marcos is re-elected.

1981 - Ronald Reagan becomes US president. US SC rules that former President Nixon may have to pay monetary damages for unconstitutional wiretapping of a residential telephone line. Pope John Paul II visits Manila in February. Marcos gets another 6-year term as President. AIDS gains awareness in the US (the Official US Definition of AIDS came out in 1993), and the UK gets its first documented case of the disease.

1993 - The Single European Market is launched on 01 January. President Bill Clinton agrees to compromise on military’s ban on homosexuals. The World Trade Center in NYC is bombed (26 February). Iraq accepts UN weapons monitoring. China breaks moratorium on nuclear testing, for national defense. With the ratification processes completed, the Treaty of the European Union enters into force in November.

 

[cocktales]

Fred Phelps and his band of crazy hipsters at [godhatesfags dot com] have excelled themselves yet again.

Imbued, no doubt, with substantial quantities of Christmas cheer, Phelps has issued a press release headed “Thank God for Tsunami and 2000 dead Swedes!!!” which explains that the Sumatran earthquake and subsequent tsunamis were sent by God as punishment ... to Sweden.

Sweden, you see, has laws prohibiting incitement of hatred of and violence against people on the grounds of, among other things, sexual preference. Unlike many countries, however, you don't get exempted from this law just because you wear a funny collar and deliver your incitement from a church pulpit. Earlier this year Swedish tubthumper Ake Green found this out the hard way when he delivered a sermon in which he allegedly described homosexuality as “abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumor in the body of society,” and homosexual people as “perverts, whose sexual drive the Devil has used as his strongest weapon against God.”

So God (reasons Fred Phelps in this presser) decided to punish the wicked Swedes by raining down destruction on Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India and Thailand. Why South-East Asia, Fred? Why would He not direct His wrath with a bit more precision? Maybe take out one of Stockholm's many fine homo bars and discos?

I know He works in mysterious ways and all, but frankly I think His aim would be a bit better.

I know some of you "oldsters" remember me talking about them coming to Las Vegas during 2004 for a high school play concerning Matthew Shepherd...it turned out horrible for them...the people booed them and "out-signed" them too!!!

(The press release is available on the god-hates-huckabees website. I won't be linking to them lest they picket my funeral.)

 

[cocktales]

The Supreme Court refused to hear two decisions on appeal, but I found the contrasts quite striking.

Both of them involved two groups that are despised by the majority of Americans.

The first was the Ku-Klux-Klan and the second was gay people.

In the first decision, the Supreme Court let stand a decision that let the KKK sponsor Adopt-A-Highway. You know, the ones where they have their name on a sign, saying they're sponsoring the next mile, and then agree to cleanup that patch of the highway.

In the second decision, the Court let stand a Florida law which bans gays, and only gays, from adopting kids. Child molesters are not banned. Felons are not banned. Single parents are not banned. Only gay people. And since Florida is the only state that has such a law, the Supreme Court gave it's tacit approval to leaving such discrimination in place for the foreseeable future.

I remember Rosie's old TV program where she got involved in publicizing this issue.....it did no good at all! The law stands while children are lost in the shuffle everyday.

So the message from the Supreme Court today is that adoption by the KKK is fine, but for gays it is not.

So one despised minority is better off.

The other is left in legal limbo.

I know these are two different items. Adopting a highway vs. adopting a kid. So I'm doing a play on words. But, based on the Supreme Court logic, it's not OK to have laws that single out KKK for different treatment, but it is OK to single out gay people. They had a chance to clear things up here, and they took a pass.

Still, in a country, normally praised for it's human rights, a large segment of it's population is "still" blatantly, openly, deliberately, discriminated against.....

God, if you're out there, we need your help and we need it bad!

 

[cocktales]

Just to remind myself and everyone, Las Vegas is “still” located in the Mojave Desert of the Southwestern part of the United States. Yes, it still gets over 110 degrees almost every year in the summer and our average rainfall is less than 4 inches in any given year!

That being said, since Christmas Day we have had over 3.5 inches of rain!

Damn, it even snowed 2 inches just the other day and stayed on the ground for a few hours! I think the weather patterns in the West is seriously messed up! I know that doesn’t sound very Meteorological; but hey, that’s what it is!! Lol

Since Las Vegas began growing so fast in the mid 90s, the city has been trying to catch up with new housing, new road construction and of course flood control with basins to catch excess water during heavy rainfall…..cause, when it rains on a rock, the water just flows, it doesn’t soak into the ground!!

Well, most of the city now has control over a lot of the water flow when it rains; but still some intersections flood. People do NOT know how to drive in wet conditions here! I don’t know if they forgot how when they moved here or what; cause most Las Vegans are transplants from other states……mostly California, I guess; but hey, those people are use to wet driving conditions; but they seem to lose that ability to drive under those conditions when they moved here! They speed, they drive too fast through standing water, they tail-gate and then expect to stop on a road that’s wet………..ain’t gonna happen--you would not believe the numbers of fender benders in this city during the latest rains!! Metro is seriously over-taxed with vehicle accidents!

I really feel sorry for Southern California! We’ve been watching their floods and land-slides. You feel so small when you see Mother Nature taking over completely and leaving you with nothing to do but suffer her consequences. It must feel weird to look outside and see your neighbors house sliding down the hillside……then wondering if and when you will be joining them! What do you do? Do you just get in the car and drive away? What other alternatives do you have….stay and get killed underneath dirt?? I don’t think so!

I still think Las Vegas is a great town to live in though! We do not have hurricanes or tornadoes. We do not have fleas or very many bugs. We do not have “large” earthquakes; although, we supposedly have the second highest number of small quakes of any other state besides CA! Let’s see why else do I like to live in LV? Oh yeah, no state income tax, the weather is really nice most of the time---the sun shines over 330 days of the year. I know a coupla months of the year we have excessive heat; but when you have good A/C WTF? Lol So? Don’t you think we have a great city? Most people only think of us as a tourist destination…….we have over 39 million tourists yearly coming to our fair city! Yep, that’s a lot of people; but we have the great Hotel/Casinos who can handle it…

Well, the rains stopped. The sun came out today and it was almost 60 degrees! I know a few places in the Midwest and East who would love to have our 12th of January temperature, don’t you??

Hey, sure we have a drought; but just don’t send so much rain at one time, will ya?

Cock

 

[cocktales]

A tip.

You'll meet him through a shared interest, you'll bond with him through discovering shared values.

The one you want is usually not at the bars and clubs. He's home on a Friday night like you are.

Forget about him and go take a pottery class, a cooking class, a sailing class, a riding class, whatever. Meet friends. Let them know you're looking. Maybe they'll introduce you.

The main thing is with an obvious shared interest it's easy to start talking and to keep talking. And if you're not making progress, go out more often.

Finally, realize that the issue keeping you from him may be you and your own biases.

Maybe he's not the most "obvious" choice. Maybe he's the guy in the cafe with the arty glasses writing on a laptop and seeming content in his own company.

It's not rocket science here, but when the tools you've been using aren't working you need to try new ones. ( Damn, I'm going to write a book on this myself!

 

[cocktales]

Today I am lighting a candle in recognition of the death of a friend who died of AIDS in 1993.

Larry was one of the best friends a guy could have.

You see, Larry, loved me! Yep, Larry loved me as a friend; but secretly Larry wanted to be with me.....

I never found this out till after Larry died.

You see, Larry discovered he had HIV and then acquired AIDS and as part of getting everything together, he wrote a Will and he wanted me to be the Executor of his Will..........I did not want to do this; but he would not take no for an answer!

Larry went through a long illness and finally passed away. I called his mother in Kansas and notified her of his death and told her I was the Executor of his Will and would be getting everything together for her since most all went to her.

I went to his apartment and started getting everything together and discovered so very much I did not know about Larry.....the most startling being his love for me!! I was shocked.

He too kept a journal and wrote in it everyday of his life while he could. The journal was full of entries about me and what he thought of me.....I just sat at his desk and cried and cried. I don't know what I was crying about. Perhaps I was crying for a love never fulfilled, perhaps for just not knowing it; but I still cried! Finally, I just could read no more.

But, you see, Larry did want me to know his secret. He knew, of course, I would read his journals and find out his secret. He even talked about me finding out and his reasons for it. He knew my relationship with Ron was solid and meant to be, as he said. He knew I would never be available again....he was resolved just to be my best friend.

I don't think anyone's ever had a better Best friend than I did. Larry means/meant more to me than anything except Ron, of course, and he will never be forgotten.

I think this poem helps to say what I mean:

A Promise of Friendship

I can give to you no more than I have.
Take no more than I deserve.
I could speak to you of all that I know,
And still more would I need to learn.
I would shine a light if it would break the darkness.
But I can not defeat all shadows.
I can tell you only of today,
I know nothing of tomorrow.
I will not be false in who I am,
Though I may hide who I was.
Though times my tongue may be unjust,
Inside my heart is love.
I will still climb so long as I,
Have strength to hold me up.
And though my steps may falter,
I will not let you drop.
I will bring comfort when you wish it,
With words or deeds or thought.
I will speak when you have need of me,
Stand silent when you do not.
I give you space within my heart,
And ask it not to break.
I ask of you forgiveness,
When I do make mistakes.
I can not always show it,
But do not doubt my love.
I've not the words to describe its depth,
So "Friend" must be enough.

 

[cocktales]

Apology: I have to admit the idea of this theme is not mine. Somewhere I read this and think it's valid, so I decided to write about it too. If you originally, wrote or thought of this topic, I do not mean to steal it from you; but thanks for the idea!


I have to admit to the fact that, as a gay man - as a man who is sexually attracted to other males, there is within me a small amount of mysoginism. It is a belief that males are superior to women. (I had to look this word up too, to find out what it meant)!

This is a very personal feeling. It is not a matter that I think males are more intelligent or better workers or anything like that, but given the choice, I would rather be around another male than a female. That's just the way things are. I do NOT mean to be-little females in any way.....yeah, you have heard the old joke: "Some of my best friends are....."!! lol

However, what I find amazing is that this society condemns the idea of males having sex with other males. It feels that the desire to have sex with someone of your own sex is "un-natural".

Let me tell you what I think...

I see a tremendous number of straight men who spend an inordinate amount of time with other males. They prefer to be with males even when they are 'dating' females. Once married, these males spend as much time with other males as they can, expecting their wives to spend time with their "girlfriends". (Women often prefer to spend time with other women - not men.)

The heterosexual males that I've known throughout my life, both married and unmarried, all suffered from the same thing - ----

as Better Midler once put it "Lakka Nukkie" (a lack of sex).

Males view sex differently than females.

I know this from both the heterosexual males and females that I've know intimately. Males want it almost all the time, females don't. I don't want to hear all the crap about female sexuality - the fact is, women do NOT desire sex as often as males. More importantly, most males are not really all that into fidelity(I am not exactly proud of this fact). Sex has nothing to do with emotions to many of them. It has nothing to do with being in a marriage or a relationship for many of them.

So what I believe is really natural is this - something the Greeks discovered a long time ago:

Males need to be having sex with other males. Only males truly know how to please another male. And those males who do like sex with females and want to produce children should marry and have them, but continue have access to their male friends for sex. This would take a great deal of pressure off their wives AND would give males the sexual outlet that they need.

The fact that the society is screwed up and cannot even conceptualize how to deal with the way that people actually (naturally) are isn't surprising. This society can hardly deal with anything to do with human existence. All it seems to be able to do is build buildings and wreck the environment.

Unfortunately, the way things are going, before humanity can wake up to the way things really ought to be, we'll probably have wiped ourselves off this planet.

***Go ahead and blast me now for the thoughts on females...........I really mean/meant no harm just being truthful..

 

[cocktales]

A younger Gay friend of Ron's and mine asked me what a Gay bath-house is like. Well, I told him I/we had not been for a few years; but this is what we remember it being like....if the scenery has changed, I apologize for the mis-information....but here's what I told him:

I think for the most, they're pretty dingy and NOT in the nicer parts of the city. Usually it has a plain facade, a secured entryway and a little man taking money from you and handing you a towel and a key if you bought a room.

I know I probably shouldn't say this; but the worst one I've ever been in is in Washington, D.C.! It's totally unsecured and of course located in a horrible part of town....but D.C. has a lot of that...and extremely run-down. I only went there once; but decided that thinking about getting mugged on my way to this place was NOT a good thing! You, however, do not go there for the deco, right? So, there's more to these places than just how they look.

To me, the atmosphere is oppressive. There's rarely any talking (except, maybe in the common, or non-sex areas) communication is handled non-verbally, mainly with the eyes. If you like a guy, you make eye contact. Mistaken eye contact is best avoided, as it could send the wrong guy the wrong signal.

Then the chase begins. You generally follow each other around, until you find a place that you can meet up (with an easy out, in case of that mistaken eye contact I mentioned). Depending on the guy, it's usually a public place, like the sauna or steam room or hot tub or showers or the like.

Most bathhouses have private rooms you can rent, but there are usually lots of public areas designated for sex. There are some guys who don't wait for the eye signals, though. They move in without "permission" and don't really know how to take NO for an answer. I've had to physically pull a guy's hands off me more than once...so be aware!

I've been in some bathhouses that restrict sexual activity to certain areas; but most are basically open for free-for-alls--any place, any time!!!

Once, I invited one guy to my "private room I rented" one night; but quickly regretted the decision. He was too rough and I told him to stop and he just didn't care and would not stop.

I ended up kicking him through the door just to get him off me. The owners were sympathetic and he ended up paying to fix the broken door jam.

But that's the extreme it's rarely violent. Most of the guys were nice enough (you kind of have to be, especially if you're hoping for sex) and I've never felt awkward or embarrassed while inside.

But drug use, very public and group sex, little to no condom use -- those are not the extremes, they've been the norm in every bathhouse I've been in across the country.

I normally went on weekends, so the places were always packed -- hundreds of guys, usually. They almost always had dress codes (a towel, basically) and some had rules as to where nudity was permitted, but not all.

The staff varied from place to place. I always wondered what they'd tell people when asked what they did for a living. I'm pretty sure most places have a strict no sex on the job policy, but I've had a couple of workers ask me to wait for them until their shifts ended.

I couldn't imagine working in a bathhouse.

So, despite all that. I still went. I went a lot.

If you are single and looking, yes, it is one place to try and find a guy; but I'm not sure you're looking for a long term relationship when you go there, to me you're just looking to get off, right?

I am a lucky person....cause when I went initially, we did not use condoms! The HIV/AIDS epidemic hit and many, many people I know came down with the disease....because they too did NOT use condoms and ended up with the deadly virus....

What spared me/us, I do not know; but luck, God, or whatever???

They are still out there folks in some cities. I am not sure if they've improved in decor; but most likely not.

I am almost sure the same things go on there as they did in the past....

Would I recommend you go? I am not sure about the answer to that but for me----

I pray I never see the inside of one again.

...But I am happily married and don't have the urges like I use to.......

Good luck! If you go, cover up and be safe!

 

[cocktales]

**Too many thoughts today to single one out, so you're stuck with a beautiful poem, I wished I had written........I cannot even give the author, cause I don't know that either...

Maybe one day we will NOT have to be in the shadows to show our love for one another, even get married, if we so wish.........



SHADOW LOVERS

The moon is for lovers
But not for you and me
Cause gay lovers are seldom free
To embrace in the moonlight.
So we hide in the shadow of the Oak
And keep our Love from the sight
Of our would be attackers
Who conspire to pull our covers.

The night sky inspires lust
And the evening breeze whispers caution
Cause gay lovers are seldom free
To embrace in the starlight
So we hide in the shadow of the Oak
Ever alert and quick to flight
Should our would be attackers
Express their unending disgust.

A rainbow illuminates our lives
If we display affection to one another
Cause gay lovers will one day be free
To embrace in the daylight
So we hope in the shadow of the Oak
Ready to fight our attackers
Without violence guns or knives.

 

[cocktales]

Rice Confirmed 16-2

Senate Panel Gives Rice Confirmation Nod
Take a wild guess at who voted against her.

Go ahead. Guess..........later!

It should be pretty obvious, given who was on the panel.

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted Wednesday to confirm Condoleezza Rice as secretary of state after two days of hearings in which she faced strenuous Democratic assaults on the Bush administration's handling of Iraq.

Pending approval by the full Senate, Rice would be the first black woman to hold the job. She was confirmed by a 16-2 vote with Democrats John Kerry of Massachusetts and Barbara Boxer of California voting no. (Did you guess, did you, did you???)

Other Democrats, including ranking member Joseph Biden of Delaware, had said they were reluctantly voting to elevate Rice to the nation's top diplomatic job.

A vote by the full Senate was expected by Thursday.

No surprise there, huh? Thursday is the big vote, I suspect the rest of the Senate will vote accordingly.

 

[cocktales]

I am without a doubt a big history/political science buff from way back.

I have watched every inauguration since I can remember and regardless of which party wins, I am always there watching till the end of the parade and then some.

I know this is a war-time president and I've heard the squeals about spending so much money when it could be spent for the troops. From what I understand, this money is all donated money and not from the general budget.......if that is wrong, I apologize. I guess all presidents deserve the pomp and circumstance of getting all the fixings with their oath and all.....don't you think?

Today's speech made by President Bush was well, excellent! As we know, he is not much of a speaker; but man, just the words of the speech were outstanding and you could not help but get caught up in the moment of listening to his high ideals for the world community.........peace and freedom for all the world, not just a few; but all! Whoa, that's pretty high lofty, ideals we have to live up to Mr. Prez!

One thing really impressed me today.........while we were waiting for the Presidential luncheon to be over at the Capitol and the parade to begin, the network commentators, I cannot remember which network, cause I surfed them all to get different perspectives, interviewed this one man from a small town in Michigan. He was a history/political science teacher who brought a van load of students to view history in the making. These students all from a small school with differing and like views of the President; but wanted the opportunity to view, in person, the oath and the constitutional procedures being initiated as they had for over 200 + years! I got a big old lump in my throat when I heard this wonderful teacher talk of his students and how they would one day be in charge and what better way to prepare them than to bring them to Washington, D.C. and see for them selves what actually takes place.

The students were all wide-eyed and you could see the look of wonder on their faces as they stood there, bearing the 30 degree temperatures; but not feeling any of it because of the adrenaline they all were pumping!

I felt so proud of our country at that moment.

We just went through a bitterly fought battle of two men representing two different parties, representing two different ideals. The winner was now here to accept his reward, the Presidency of the U. S.!

It's just so good to see democracy in action. No fighting after the election; but acceptance of the winner and the coming together of the people to celebrate our heritage....a free America swearing in the President of all the people today at 12:00 noon.

Here is a picture of President and Mrs. Bush at one of the many balls in their honor. What a striking figure they both make:

This photo is at the ball where the servicemen and their wives/girlfriends or boyfriends were there. What a nice photo moment:

I am just happy to be a free American and witness the continuation of our democratic procedures in action....

 

[cocktales]

Last year about this time I ran across a website like no other: LMAO!

I could not believe the feeling of welcome and community I felt when the people there at that time opened their hearts to me, a complete stranger.

It's like I'd known these people forever........we had this one common denominator: We are all Gay!

You know when you feel at home and when people are genuine with their feelings--these people were the real thing.

So, I decided to stick around and explore and see what the forum/porn was all about....and I've not left it yet.

JD/Seth have groomed something special and for that we all should be thankful to them. It's amazing how much this site can mean to a man struggling with his sexuality and not knowing which way to turn...it's a true Godsend.....whether you are religious or not...it's truly spiritual and meaningful. If only I had had something like this when I was trying to cope with the feelings I had......I felt so all alone and like no one else on earth knew or experienced exactly what I was .

If there are any lurkers out there or just rookies who run across my blog and read this, understand one thing. JustUsBoys is not just beautiful, wonderful, man porn; but a community of Gay, Bi, Transgendered or some straight women, who feel comfortable here and establish roots to serve our brethren and lend assistance to understanding one another's needs as Gay men.

Thank you to all of you for being there for me for this year and I only hope I can be there for you when you need me, cause you only have to ask and I will be there. Thanks JUBBERS, one and all.

 

[cocktales]

Gay village: I looked it up in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

A gay village (sometimes called a gay ghetto or gay enclave) is usually an urban geographic location with generally recognized boundaries where a large number of gay and lesbian people, as well as bisexuals and transsexuals live, and usually contains a number of gay bars, clubs and pubs, restaurants and businesses.

Such areas may represent gay-friendly oases in otherwise hostile cities, or may simply have high concentrations of gay residents or businesses. As with many urban ‘groups,’ gay and lesbian spaces or villages are a manifestation both of their necessity for a tolerant space as well as choice. Gays, much as other urbanized groups, have managed to utilize their spaces as a way to reflect gay cultural value and serve the special needs of individual gays in relation to society at large. In cities that have the necessary critical mass to support such a community, the gay ‘ghetto’ provides a normalization of space that is essential to the culture’s ability to be supported and practiced in a safe environment.

As gay people become more open in their lives, their presence will become more visible in smaller cities and towns across America.

A case in point is the conflict going on in Spokane, Washington, where local gay people are trying to establish a gay district, much to the horror of family groups and conservative religionists.

Spokane did not open wide its arms to the notion of a gay business district. Instead of seeing art and bookstores, coffee shops, theater groups, and boutiques, the straights saw sex, drugs, and bars. The local priest sermonized, "Sex is the underbelly of the gay culture."

Someone needs to tell the good padre that sex is the "underbelly" of the entire American culture. Has he never seen a TV commercial?

In a truly democratic society, there would be no need for a gay district any more than there would be a need for Afro American areas, Italian areas, or non English speaking areas. Alas, until democracy and a truly egalitarian society exit across the land, people in minority groups will continue to find refuge in their own communities. America is nothing if not delightful diverse groups that are slowly being stirred into the mixing pot of a larger society.

As for the straight citizens of Spokane, they need to get used to the notion of having a gay district. Everyone will be better for it.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/207921_spokanegays.html

I also looked up cities with large gay neighborhoods:

Northhampton, Mass.
Provincetown, Mass.
Boston, Mass.
Washington, D.C.
Chicago, Ill.
Madison, Wisc.
San Francisco, Calif. - (Castro, Height Ashbury, and Mission Districts)

Check this out for some great factual info:
http://myweb.ecomplanet.com/TPFT8634/mycustompage0030.htm

You know what I do when thinking about visiting a new city or having to go on business to a city?

I look up where the Gay Districts are located. I want to give my business to Gay owned or Gay friendly businesses! I know it sounds bigoted....cause it is!
Why can't I provide the reverse to what the other side does to us? I want our Gay small business owners to survive and if we all give them our business, then perhaps that will provide the incentive as well as funds to do so...

This is an ad for a local car dealership in Las Vegas, soliciting Gay business:

I know I did NOT address the many, many beautiful cities of the other JUBBERS out there who are NOT American.

I would love to hear about your wonderful Gay city Districts you have and some facts about them!!!

Please! Let me know about your Gay Districts....

Is it wrong to have them? etc.........????

Sound off please!!!

 

[cocktales]

Kinda sad today........sure I watched the football games and my teams won, I won some money on my bets; but just not the same today......

Johnny Carson passed away I heard just when I got up this morning!

I guess most of the people in my age bracket "went to bed with Johnny"!

How many of us went to sleep watching him on TV?

How often did I wake up with the snowy picture of the TV buzzing??

He was a true master of wit and certainly will be missed!

Hell, we just heard he was silently passing jokes to Letterman all these years he's been retired!!

No wonder Letterman continues to capture the TV awards in his segment!

Anyway, just want to dedicate this blog to Mr. Johnny Carson, may he rest in peace!!

Cock