Thank you for all the kind words!
Accepting yourself. So easy, so difficult.
In the late teens, most of us have pretty fragile self-confidences. It takes no more than a negative remark before a complex is born. For some people, these complexes disappear when they get older and learn to accept themselves, for others the complexes becomes a part of their person, something they can never get rid of.
When I was about 14, I started to compare myself with others. I wished I was braver, better at speaking german in class, that I was better at soccer, that I was more popular and that I had a different looking body. Most people know that the teens doesn't necessarily determine your future- courage can come, the german can improve, soccer kind of looses its importance and the body does change- but right there and then, the present was all that mattered. I remember being even more shy than I am now. At school I would often turn and walk the other way if I saw any of the "cool kids" approaching. I always felt and acted weird when they were around, because I didn't feel comfortable.
Later on I gradually got more self-confidence, but I still compared myself with others. After some time it was more and more about appearance, about muscles and looks. It's almost like a sick, persistent comparison leading to distortions in self-image, bad feelings and negative focus. You will always find people that are better looking, cooler, that has better hair, nicer abs, bigger biceps etc. On top of it all, you feel that you shouldn't have all those feelings, thus acknowledging another flaw in yourself.
My biggest complexes were(and still are to some extent), that I was too tall and too skinny, the latter being the easier to change.

So I started working out, thinking that everything would be so much better.
But it didn't. I did get some effect, sure. Just not what I wanted. What I really wanted was to shrink, so I could look just as good as those 5'10 jocks. I realized that I could never look the way they do.
Then I started to think. Why was it just me that had a wrong built body? Why didn't I had a body that matched my passions? Would it mean that I had placed myself on the wrong shelf in this life? That I simply tried to try my physical features by attempting something that in theory required a different body type?
I asked myself those questions several times a day. I thought, because of my limitations, I was failing.
I am still dealing with my complexes. I understand that there's no way to escape my genetics, and accepting limitations is not failing. I understand that I have come a long way towards my goals. I can still look at myself in the mirror two times in the same week and see two different persons, all depending on what I've eaten or how many times I've been to the gym. I realize it is mostly in my head. I have a lot more self-confidence now, but going to the gym didn't do it all for me, facing the facts has. Also, this thread, with all you wonderful people has helped me a long way. I'm sure I'm not the only one with thoughts like this, but I've been too embarrassed or ashamed of how I feel about myself to tell anyone (but a few).
I have stretched the target a little longer now; to be happy with who I am, and to by happy with myself.
So easy, so difficult.