My Inferiority Complex Due To My First Crush
My Inferiority Complex Due To My First Crush
By Kevin - unoponcho
Chapter 1
It was to be my first summer camp. I was assigned to stay in a cabin with four other boys my age. In the cabin next to me was a boy whose name was Jimmy. Jimmy and I were the same age but he was much more physically developed than I. So far as I was concerned he had the best physique of anyone I had ever seen. He was blond headed, brown eyes and had a very cute smile. I fell in love with him from the very first moment that I saw him - he was my first crush.
Jimmy was athletic as well as being very smart. He excelled in everything he did. Everyone liked him. Every chance I got I would try to be near him.
Warren was Jimmy’s best friend at the time and shared the same cabin. One night Warren and I were talking. We did not know each other very well, but for some reason Warren told me that he had seen Jimmy with a hard-on and that he had a dick that was twelve-inches long. This bit of information threw me into a tailspin. I had never seen anyone with an erection before and I knew that my dick was only six and half inches. I felt like I was a freak.
The day before the summer camp was over Jimmy and I were assigned as team mates for a ten-mile canoe race. I had seen Jimmy in a canoe before and I knew that he was good. This did not intimate me because I knew that I was good at canoeing as well. We talked briefly before the race began. He asked me to rub suntan lotion on him, which I did and of course got an erection concealed in my jock strap underneath my swim trunks. If Jimmy noticed he never said anything. Jimmy chose to ride in the front of the canoe and I was behind him. From the very start of the race Jimmy and I pulled out front of the other five canoes. We kept getting further and further ahead of our competitors and remained well in the lead winning the ten-mile race with ease. Sitting behind Jimmy and seeing his muscles and body in motion while paddling the canoe and thinking about him having a twelve inch dick, gave me a hard-on from the beginning to the end of the race.
Camp was over the next day. The canoe race proved to be the longest and only real time that I had spent alone with Jimmy. I did learn that he and I lived in the same city. He was on one side of the town and I on the other. His home was in a much more affluent neighborhood than mine.
For the next year and half when I masturbated I was thinking about Jimmy assuming that his twelve-inch dick was a normal size. Mine was not getting much larger and I became very depressed. I stayed on my own, not associating with any of the other guys. I was afraid that some way they would find out that my dick was small. I developed an inferiority complex and even had thoughts about suicide. I did not want to live if I was not normal partly as I had always been attracted to boys and never to girls; also because I felt I was cursed with a small dick – either way it was as bad as if I was a freak of nature.
My school did not have a counselor or any sex education courses. My teachers were women and I did not feel that I could talk to them about my problem. Talking to my parents was out of the question. They both worked and were always busy and besides that I was too embarrassed and timid to talk about sex with them.
Half way through my senior year in high school I had my eighteen birthday. For some reason it slipped my parents minds and even they did not wish me a happy birthday. I decided that I could not take it any longer and planned out how I was going to commit suicide at mid-night the coming Saturday night. I had even written a note to my parents explaining why I had ended it all.
Saturday afternoon I had just finished mowing the back yard. My parents were out of town and would not be back until Sunday morning. Ron who was my age and lived in back of me stuck his head over the fence. He explained that his parents were also out of town for the weekend and asked me if I would like to come over to his house after dinner and play chess with him. Ron and I did not know each other very well, but we knew that both like to play chess. With chess being my favorite game I agreed. I believed that playing chess would be a good way to pass the time until my mid-night date with death.
Ron and I played three games and I won every game. We started talking after Ron acknowledged that he was no match for me and did not want to play any more. One thing led to another and we ended up with my first experience of sex and seeing another guy’s erection. Ron had had a lot of sexual experiences and was very knowledgeable. He showed me how to perform oral sex and we discussed anal sex. After we had sex we talked for several more hours. I confided in Ron and told him about Jimmy and that I felt inadequately equipped in the dick department. Ron quickly pointed out that if Jimmy had a twelve-inch prick that Jimmy was the one that was a freak. I had already learned that my dick was as large or larger than Ron’s. Without a doubt what I learned from Ron that night changed my whole outlook on life.
I am sure that Warren had no idea that when he told me about the size of Jimmy’s cock, and so had planted a seed in my impressionable mind that festered and grew and had almost cost me my life.
Ron and I got together several more times before high school graduation. Ron also introduced me to some of his friends who had sex with me.
After graduation I joined the Army. To my surprise I ran into Jimmy who I had not seen in two years. We both were stationed at the same Army Base where we were put through basic training. We only saw one another a couple of times but we did meet just as we finished our basic training and were given a two-week leave. We both were going home to visit our parents and agreed to call each other and hang out some.
Chapter 2
I know that I had matured since Jimmy and I were at summer camp together, and Jimmy had become even better looking than ever. Of course his uniform did not have anything to do with him looking so great.
Three days after I got home Jimmy called. He explained that his parents had bought a cottage on the beach that needed a lot of repairs. They were expecting him to help with the repairs while he was home on leave. He told me that he was going to take a truck load of furniture and materials need to make the repairs to the beach the next morning, spend the night before returning the following day and asked if I would like to go with him. I still had and have a thing for Jimmy and I jumped at the chance. He agreed to pick me up the following morning and told me to bring my swimsuit that we would have time for relaxing and have some fun.
Jimmy picked me up as planned. We had not been on the road very long when Jimmy looked at me with a grin on his face, and said, “I know the policy. ‘Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell.’ I have a very personal question to ask that perhaps will not violate the policy. Is your cock actually twelve-inches long?”
I could not keep from laughing. After I got control of myself I said, “That son-of-bitch Warren told you that my dick was twelve inches didn’t he.”
“Yeah! Is it that big?”
“No way! Warren told me that your cock was that size.” I replied.
“If I could get a hold of that bastard I would kill him. He has lied to me so many times that I should have known better. Later on today you just may have to prove that he was lying?”
“That goes both ways. I would like to see the evidence myself. We want be breaking the policy will we?”
“Policy? What policy? What we do to each other after exhibiting our evidence is our business and does not involve asking or telling. Neither of us will have violated the fucking policy. The policy does not say anything about showing.” Jimmy said.
While we were driving we had sort of a game going on between the two of us. We chose our words, wording, or the way we said things carefully so that what we said had a double meaning or could be taken two different ways. In essence it all led to admitting to each other that we both were gay and wanted to have sex with each other. The proof could be verified by both of us sporting boners that were tenting our shorts that we had on.
By the time we reached the cabin we had stopped to eat lunch on the way and had talked enough that we both felt comfortable with each other. There was a feeling of camaraderie and we could trust one another with our innermost thoughts, secrets and feelings.
It took us close to an hour to unload the truck and put everything in order. The cottage was in bad shape. It had been neglected for a number of years. Jimmy did not know the cottage history but did know that it had been vacant or not used in five years. There already had been some work done on it by Jimmy parents. The inside was fairly clean especially for a beach cottage where sand was either tracked or blown in by the wind. The pantry was full of food as well as the refrigerator and deep freezer.
From the outside it looked much larger than it actually was. One thing that caused the optical illusion was a large screened in porch that went all the way around the four sides of the cottage. There were three bedrooms that were only large enough for the beds. Who ever design the layout did so believing that those that used the cottage would spend very little time in the bedrooms and concentrated on devoting as much space as possible to the combination den, breakfast area, and kitchen. There was one small bathroom with a small shower. In back there was an outdoor shower near the patio and back door.
Soon after we finished unloading the truck we went into one of the bedrooms where we were going to change into our swimsuits and spend some time on the beach. As it turned out we spent well over an hour proving to each other that neither of us had a twelve-inch dick. Jimmy was just as anxious to fulfill some of his two and half year old fantasies about me and I was about him. I lost count as to how many times one of us would be giving head and then we switched places.
Once that it was confirmed that his dick was not twelve inches
Jimmy fulfilled ever expectations that I had imagined about him and he told me that I lived up to his expectations. Our cocks were near the same size except his was circumcise just as I hoped that it would be and mine is uncut which Jimmy prefers. We both had very gratifying ejaculations and were well on the way to having the seconded but we decide to spread them out in hopes that we would end up having a greater number in the long run.
We got our swimsuits on and still had erections. Putting suntan lotion on each other did not help them to go down. We still had hard-ons when we left the cottage carrying our beach towels to go to the beach. The rest of the afternoon we walked on the beach, swam, and lay on our beach towels taking a sunbath. During the afternoon a strange phenomena transpired between the two of us. We both were so horny that we could just look into each other’s eyes and instantaneously both of us would get an erection.
As we left to return to the cabin for supper I called Jimmy’s attention that we had not seen a single individual anywhere since we had arrived. He told me that his Dad had told him that for some reason that the high sand dunes with sea oats between the beach and cabin had become known as the place for couples to come at night to make out. He said that his Dad liked to take a swim at night before going to bed and that he had stumbled upon a lesbian couple and a straight couple having sex and he had seen a number of both straight and gay couples either coming or going from the dunes. His father did not know what to do about it or if there was a logical reason that he should even bother trying.
We took off our swimsuits and took a shower outside the cabin. We put a towel around our waist and went inside leaving our swimsuits hanging on a rocking chair on the screened in porch. Jimmy offered me a choice of a variety of things that he could fix for supper and we settled on eating sandwiches.
Having just finished basic training we both were in excellent physical condition and wanted to stay that away. Jimmy suggested that we put on our swimsuits and jog on the beach before the sun went down and kidding me told me that we would not have to do our exercises. He said by the time we had fucked each other that that would take the place of push-ups.
We jogged some distance along the beach and a good pace that was not a strain for either of us. We turned around and headed back toward the cottage. We had intentions to jog an equal distance in the other direction. Once we got back in near the cottage we decide to take a swim first before continuing our jog. The tide was coming in and there were some high waves in which we wanted to play in.
Jimmy got the bright idea that he wanted to pull my swimsuit off of me. It became a game with both of us ending with our swimsuits down to our knees. Then the game became jerking on each other’s dicks and escalated to the point that both of us were near ejaculating. Jimmy managed to get my swimsuit off of me, removed his own and took off towards the cottage bare assed with his stiff cock leading the way. I had no alternative than to follow him. No further thought was given to continue our jogging.
Chapter 3
We took a quick shower outside and did not even bother to dry off. He led the way to our bedroom and we got on the bed. We had a brief discussion as to who was to be first to give head. An agreeable comprise was made and we began giving head to each other at the same time.
Back when we were in summer camp we knew that each other were competitive. Our being competitive that night proved to be an advantage for both of us. We started off with who could cause the other one the greatest amount of pleasure. After we had given head to each other for a good length of time Jimmy wanted me to fuck him to which I had no objections as all as long as I got my turn where he fucked me.
I fucked him doggie style for a good length of time and then I got him to fuck me doggie style for an equal amount of time. I fucked him while he was on his back and then we would switch places. At times we would change so I would suck his cock for a period of time and we would again switch places. This went on for almost two hours before neither of us could hold off any longer and we had our climaxes near the same time.
Nothing was said, but it was a mutual unspoken understanding that neither of us were ready to call it a night. Both of us still had erections. The competition changed slightly. It now became a challenge as to who could get the other one to shoot off the most times before surrendering or giving up.
I would get Jimmy to shoot off and then he would get me to do the same. It kept going back and forth. It was an evenly matched competition. Neither of us ever got ahead of each other. After sometime we lost count of the number of times we had climaxed. What mattered was to keep up with each other. It got to the point that when we climaxed there was hardly any cum and what there was the consistence of slimy water. It was well after midnight when we called it a tied game. Needless to say that either of us had to be rocked to sleep.
I was awakened the next morning with Jimmy poking me in the ribs and telling me that it was time to go jog before breakfast. I was so beat that jogging was the last thing I wanted to do. Jimmy started mocking a sergeant and was yelling, “Get you ass out of bed soldier.” The familiar sound caused me to jump out of bed and start looking for something to put on.
After jogging, eating breakfast and spending an hour on the beach we started getting ready to return home. I had my overnight bag setting on the breakfast table waiting for Jimmy to get ready to leave. He walked up to me and set his things that he was going to take with him on the table beside mine. He grabbed me by the shoulders and told me that he wanted to check out if it still worked. I did not know at first what he was talking about. He started starring me in the eye. It still worked. Both of us got erections and both of us started to get down on our knees at the same time. Jimmy gave in first and I got on my knees undid his shorts and gave him a farewell blowjob. Then he did the same for me. Afterwards we both joked about the lack of cum that we shot off and that our balls and prostates had been working during the night to catch up.
On the way back home I told Jimmy about my depression, inferiority complex, and almost committing suicide due to believing that my penis was abnormally small in comparison to his supposable twelve-incher that Warren had told me about. Jimmy told me that after summer camp that Warren, he and several of their friends jacked off together and he had seen enough erections to know that he was normal, but had always wanted to see my twelve-incher just out of curiosity.
Jimmy told me that he and his parents were going to return to the cottage the following day and he would spend the remainder of his leave doing repair jobs to the cottage. We talked some about neither of us knowing what the Army had in store for us We did not know if we would remain at that base or be shipped somewhere else. We made a pack with each other that no matter what happened that we would keep in touch with each other. If both of us remained there on base that we would get weekend passes and go somewhere and spend time together in a motel.
He also told me that he had decided to take his car back with him when he returned to the base. He invited me to ride back with him. He said that we would spend one night in the motel on the way back to the base. I enthusiastically agree to ride with him.
I cannot believe that my leave time is almost over. I did get to spend some time with Ron. He was home from college for a weekend. I beat his ass again playing chess and spent some quality time with him in his bedroom.
Jimmy is going to pick me up in the morning and we will be heading back to our Army Base. I am so thankful that neither of us have a twelve-inch cock. However, I it might be interesting if I had one that size for a couple of hours. I would like to cram it up my sergeant’s butthole who has been chewing my ass out for one reason or other and has treated me like a piece of shit ever since I joined the fucking Army.
The End.