College Tuition and Parents

[BabiGayPimp]

I think it's fair and reasonable that parents should contribute something to the higher education costs of their children. IN GENERAL, it's probably a good return on investment for the parents if a college degree helps get a young adult "launched," careerwise.

But I find it baffling that some middleclass parents assume full responsiblity for paying 100% of the costs for their kids to attend extremely expensive private colleges and universities. And it seems, more and more, like cost is no object. I recent read and article about a couple paying $50,000 a year just one of their sons to go to college.

I could understand if they're rich, but some of these parents are jepoardizing their own retirement prospects and long-term financial stability to send their kids to a fancy smancy school that may not be the best value financially or academically.

What are your thoughts, other than "people can do whatever they want," which I certainly acknowledge.

 

[BAMA32]

They're doing what they feel is the best means at giving their kids the best opportunities and a better life than they have (such as not having to work their butt off to provide a private school option for their kid).

 

[BAMA32]

My parent's told me "if you want to go to college, you pay for it."

*GASP* and I did too!

That's admirable.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

BAMA32 I get the part about parents doing what they feel is best for the child. But how do you feel about this? Put yourself in their position. Is there a limit to you much you would pay your child's higher education, or would there be a point at which you might suggest looking into some other options?

 

[BabiGayPimp]

If a child is fortunate enough to have parents willing to foot the bill, I see no problem with it. For many parents, their children are their lives, so it's only natural for them to depart with their funds if it's going toward the kid's future. I don't necessarily consider it the wisest investment, but I won't criticize them for doing it.

How would you feel, as a taxpayer, paying extra to bail out the parents when they lose their home or botch their retirement because "Johnny and Suzy" had to have the best? If the parent can afford it that's one thing. Some of them can;t but are determined to do it anyway.

 

[DiamondSkin]

I went to an expensive college. My parents footed the bill. I also took out some private student loans.

They did it because they wanted the best for me and they love me.

End of Story.

If some people have means to pay for a kid's education than fine.

There should be no 'limit' to what a parent should pay. It's their business and an insinuation that there should be is just class envy.

 

[Swellegant]

I do think that, if at all possible, one of the best things you can do for your college-bound child is to make it so he doesn't have to work. And of course, you want to send him to the best school you can afford.

When this becomes problematic is when the parents reach for a school they can't afford... what message is that sending the kid? I think the message they mean is "we love you so much we want you to have the best"; but the message that's being received is "if you can't afford something, just borrow for it."

There's a tendency in our society, in the post-baby-boomer generation in particular, to overindulge our children. We want them to have the best, we want them to have the things we didn't have; but we're taking away from them the character-building experiences that allowed us to grow up and get the things we didn't have. We give them a soft life for eighteen or twenty years, and then thrust them unarmed and unarmored into a very nasty world.

But I think the bottom line here is not how much you spend on your children but simply how you raise your children. If you're doing it right, it won't matter if you scrimp him into a state college or give him a free ride through Yale... and if you haven't raised him right, either one will be a waste of money.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

If they can afford it, why not? If they can't, I don't think it's unreasonable for the student to take out a loan.

You have to be careful, though, you don't want to graduate owing $80K which certainly happens.

I also think it's reasonable for the parents to set conditions, like you have to maintain a B average. College is for hard work, not binge drinking.

 

[versatastic]

A couple of friends of mine didn't go to college out of high school because their grades weren't good enough for a good college and they didn't want their parents to pay for a mediocre college. They just worked for a few years, then went to community college, and now they go to school for free with some extra money for books and living expenses. They get a lot of financial aid cuz they never made much money, and they're old enough to not be considered a dependent of their parents.

I've noticed that there's a very general dichotomy among college students: those whose tuition is paid by parents/grants/loans and those who pay their own way. The latter group, who are mostly transer students from JCs, usually work a lot harder than the rest. Sometimes they just don't know how to study efficiently because JC is much easier, but they still get mostly As and Bs because they appreciate a lot more how much money is going into each class they take. For the rest, maybe they understand how much it costs, but it's not something they keep in mind.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Since when are taxpayers not paying for other's messes? Nobody is really living, or willing to live, within their means. I can't judge it by that standard.

I do think "Johnny and Suzy" should not be given a free ride, personally. However, I'll reiterate that ultimately, it's the parents decision to make. What's the point of getting all hot and bothered over how someone else is supporting their offspring?

That begs the question. People not living within their means is what has brought the once United States of America to the brink of financial ruin. Why would you want to continue to subsidize the poor financial decision of other? Because that's just the way it is? What kind of excuse is that.

People made the decision to buy homes they could not afford a few years back. And guess what? People who stated: "it's (their) decision to to make" are stuck paying the bill.

Back to the college tuition question: are the "supporting their offspring" or giving away goodies at someone else's expense?

A LOT of these expensive private school tutions have have been paid for with variable rate Home Equity lines of credit. Now the parents/homeowners are under water and you're getting their bill...

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I went to an expensive college. My parents footed the bill. I also took out some private student loans.

They did it because they wanted the best for me and they love me.

End of Story.

If some people have means to pay for a kid's education than fine.

There should be no 'limit' to what a parent should pay. It's their business and an insinuation that there should be is just class envy.

Sounds like a spoiled "child" to me. I could not imagine suggesting that my own parents spend on me without limits. It's the parents business when they can afford it and they are using their own money, which they expect no public reimbursement for. But what about these toxic home equitiy loans and lines that parents are looking to pass on to somebody else (taxpayers), run up by their kid's private school tuition bills???

I've worked in financial services for most of my adult life and I've seen the patterns repeated over and over: Charge up $200,000 on the HELOC for Sally's Ivy League tuition-->Stop paying the mortage-->Beg for government relief OR file for bankruptcy. With rights come responsibility, and I see a whole lot of folks skipping out on theirs so they can spoil their own children and pass the burden on to someone else's.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

What do you want to do about it? Stigmatize people who pay for their children's education? I don't think that's going to work. These are private matters, no matter how much you feel they are making the wrong decision. I just don't see where you're going with this.

NEWSFLASH!!! Irresponsible personal financial behavior brought the United States to the edge of catastrophe just one short year ago. A massive infusion of PUBLIC dollars averted disaster just in the nick of time. From now on, these issues are suitable for public discourse. The old rules no longer apply. Everybody should be talking and forming opinions about how some people's reckless decisions affect others down the road. The connectedness of public life and private finance has lately become of interest to many. Expect to see more regulatory action down the road. Talk is not cheap anymore.

And it's not that I think, across the board, people are making the wrong decison for investing heavily in education. As I said at the outset: educating one's children's can offer a good ROI and other benefits, under the right conditions. I'm just concerned there may be insufficient critical thinking involved, and some bad number crunching. The most expensive option is not always the best. Particularly when you cannot afford it.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Yes, and next we'll be seeking them out, one by one, Inquisition style, and ultimately burn them at the stake for wanting to do as they please with their own children.

Now that's childish. Asking tough questions and engaging in social criticism is not the same as fomenting a holocaust. I just think something changed about a year ago, when a certain traditional American way of thinking crumbled. It was shocking to see, really. But you're still living in 2007, before the President of the United States admitted his country's economy had gone off the rails--because everybody thought they were rich, and the cost of their chosen lifestyles was irrelevant.

 

[CudDULL]

We'll considering how full time students are still consider dependent until they are 23 parents are somewhat held accountable to help pay or provide for them.

Money shouldn't be an issue when it comes to someones education. I don't see the big deal, if parents can somehow come up with the money now to pay for college for their child then why not. Its your child, not some stranger you met, dont you want the best for them or support them in their goasl?

 

[looseliam]

My tuition was about what my father made a year. There's no way Mom could support the family.

They told me they'd pay, but there was no way I could let them. I wouldn't feel right.

Sure, they threw some money my way here and there, but that's it.

I think it's selfish for kids to rely on their parents for college.

College prepares, allegedly, one for real life. A real life of what? Oh, you want something and can't do it yourself? No worries, you can freeload.

If you want something bad enough, work hard enough to get it.

 

[hungrybrownbear]

It also has to do with culture.
In Asian families, it is expected that the parents pay for the education because you are expected to help them out immensely until they die, once you get financially stable.

 

[youngnihilist]

If parents can afford it, they should pay. It's not the way it used to be. Living is expensive, school is harder, everything is more competitive. It's ridiciulous to expect a student to pay their own way thru college completely if you have plenty yourself. Plus, in gay boys, it creates a lot of extra prostitution.

 

[Sha-Rok]

To me a degree is a degree..If employers want to fall in love over names they won't get to far. Having Character and real life experience will get you futher in my opinion. I'm currently using fafsa and grants to pay for my schooling..I completed my lower division classes at a jc..which for some dumb reason is looked down upon..yet I just shaved off two years of tutition

 

[senorserio]

My parent's told me "if you want to go to college, you pay for it."

*GASP* and I did too!

That's exactly what my parents said and I'm now glad they did. My education is MINE. I did the work, I paid for it, and I take satisfaction in knowing the rewards of my career were hard earned. It's a sacrifice I think a few others should take to heart particularly when I watch some college students piss away their scholarships and/or parent's money partying and flunking out.

 

[Red Storm]

My parent's told me "if you want to go to college, you pay for it."

*GASP* and I did too!

They told me the same and I did!.

If parents can afford or want to pay for their kids' college then go right ahead.