Colonoscopy

[ozguy]

After the procedure (and in the post operative care room with other patients) the nurse said I could expel wind if I wanted to coz its clean wind. lol!

The last time I had one I farted so loudly and so often when I got back I practically cleared out the ward!

 

[Yooper]

I have to drink 3 litres of a stuff called Colonlytely (love the name!) ... 250mls every 15 minutes. It's revolting!! So far I've made 3 trips to the dunny and I've still got a litre and a bit to drink.

Here they've got an even better name. Golytely.

 

[Darkflower]

I have to drink 3 litres of a stuff called Colonlytely (love the name!) ... 250mls every 15 minutes. It's revolting!! So far I've made 3 trips to the dunny and I've still got a litre and a bit to drink.

Here they've got an even better name. Golytely.

Ohhh god. My parents have both had procedures where they had to drink that stuff. I tasted some once--GAH! Like saltwater thickened with cornstarch! I don't see how they gagged it all down!

One time in high school I was talking to a friends dad and he informed me that he had gotten a colonoscopy that day and it wasn't that bad "I mean, the gays like it"

LOL!

 

[ozguy]

It's 4.20am and in 3 hours' time I have to go to hospital .... I can't sleep, I'm hungry and my guts is gurgling like you wouldn't believe!

JUB to the rescue!!!

 

[Lefty]

I'm telling you mate...I will never get the time/day change straight and by the time I do they will jump on Daylight Savings Time (stupid name stupid idea) and I'll have to start over.

Anyway, I expected that above post to be a "Honey I'm Home' ...so will keep watching for that one. I bet your orderly is going to be a hunk and has a HARD time trying to do the catheter...what, no catheter... tell 'em you're bloody pissed and want one....Only if installer is as hunky as you of course.

 

[ozguy]

^ (you're even starting to sound like an Aussie!!)

 

[talbot57]

I've had one before. They're no big deal. However......4 days ago I got to have a cystoscopy!! For those who don't know, that's a pencil sized camera shoved up your pee hole. And no, you are not sedated. It hurt and burned like HELL!! And taking your first few pisses afterward also burns like a mofo. Thank God the doc didn't find anything wrong. Just needed some antibiotics..

Yeah, had that done a couple of years ago, thankfully I was fully out. It was strange to think that some guy had been playing with my dick whilst I was out. Still, I was lucky that I had no problems afterwards.

Good luck for Monday Ozguy, I'm sure everything will be fine.

 

[Lefty]

OKAY GUYS,

OUR OZZIE has to blow off a couple of hours...Time to tell him some jokes or even dirty foul stories.

And if you drag ass and miss him, leave some for his return so

he will have sum'pin ta do when he gets home.


READY....SET...F-ing GO

 

[Ranchman]

I'm sure everything will be fine ozguy - and welcome home!!!!!

 

[spooger]

i worked with a general and vascular surgeon for 11 years, and before i left his employ he asked me if there was anything i wanted him to do for me ... i said i'd like a colonoscopy because i was 40someting ... no probs ... just a check ...

i also told him i wanted to be awake for it so i could see the video monitor and see what goes on ... so i was very slightly sedated but fully awake for mine ... it was amazing .... and he found no problems ...

doesn't hurt at all, really ... but the information can be a life saver ...

as others have said ... the worst part of it is the laxative & "Go Litely" (not barium - that's for a lower GI series of x-rays) ... toward the end of the laxative treatment you should just take up residence on the toilet ... drink a glassfull ... shit it out ... or actually squirt ... but you must have a clean colon for the doc to be able to see properly ...

good luck ... like lukee said ... show us the pics ... or at least report to us how your experience was ...

 

[Lefty]

Damn it people...he being photo rootered right now and you aren't sending him any fun/dirty reading material


COME ON

 

[hotdog1846]

Hey Ozguy, I bet after all that cleansing, your ass is incredibly clean. And, I bet after being sedated, you're nice and relaxed.

I can't think of a better time to !!!!!!

 

[Beachguyj]

I hope your butthole is not too big, they might try to film your colonoscopy in Imax.

 

[ozguy]

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! Feeling a little groggy but otherwise I'm fine. Boy did those sandwiches and cup of tea they gave me after it was over taste good!!!!

I was told that everything went fine and that nothing serious showed up, but I do have a follow-up appointment with the doc in a couple of weeks' time, so I guess I'll get the full report then. In the meantime, it's business as usual.

Thanks for your good wishes and for humoring me, guys ... really appreciated it!

PS ... I've been home a couple of hours and I can't stop farting!!!! At least they don't smell.

 

[Lefty]

Eh mate

you are a dear long time chum and all

but gods truth

you are living up to your rep as a real gas bag then....

cut the cheese and fart on brother

 

[braex27]

Eh mate

you are a dear long time chum and all

but gods truth

you are living up to your rep as a real gas bag then....

cut the cheese and fart on brother

No wonder we made you an honourary Aussie.

 

[ozguy]

No wonder we made you an honourary Aussie.

Except he spelt 'rooted' incorrectly! (post #65)

 

[Alan]

So glad everything went well!

 

[Lefty]

Bloody Hell and vegamite droppings.

My Honourary Aussie Selection shan't be sullied by any bloke

regardless of the relationship we may have had before he got into

anal filmology and personal snaps.

It's plain as tits on a boar that my old mate never caught wind

(so to speak) of an outfit in the Americas called ROTO ROOTER...

their jingle in part was Sewer problems? call Roto Rooter and

your problems will go down the drain hence the spelling as

rootered,.... sometimes you are a silly outbacker. OZ, you are.



Anyone else wonder he overdid the meds?






Think we should let him out of the dunny?

 

[Ranchman]

Glad you're home ozguy. I couldn't stop after mine either - it will all be gone by the morning tho!! I know how good food tasted afterward - they gave me bacon, eggs and toast and I osmosed it!!!