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Come out all the way?

N

njcollegekid

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my mom and 2 close friends (and also roommates) know im bi, as do all the guys ive hooked up with but thats a given. at this point im pretty much tired of hiding 1/2 of my sexuality, and am strongly considering just going on fbook and changing 'interested in' from 'women' to 'men and women'.
any thoughts, suggestions, advice, etc?
 
go for it. if your mom and close friends already know, who is seriously left to worry about?
 
Who has access to your status? If it's everyone, I'd advise against announcing it on fb.
 
I wouldn't. The fb status is something usually only visible by friends, and even when it isn't, it's something you gotta specifically go look for, and not instantly visible.

It's a great feeling knowing its there for everyone to see. I did that my first month of coming out. Never regretted it.
 
Seasoned said:
Who has access to your status? If it's everyone, I'd advise against announcing it on fb.
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could you elaborate as to why? i need to understand the logic in order to actually assess the conclusion.

Rolyo85 said:
I wouldn't. The fb status is something usually only visible by friends, and even when it isn't, it's something you gotta specifically go look for, and not instantly visible.

It's a great feeling knowing its there for everyone to see. I did that my first month of coming out. Never regretted it.
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i thought changing it would cause a wall/newsfeed notification, like changing your cover or avatar. so would you advise a status declaring myself as bi? or a mass text? or a shitton of one-on-one conversations? or what?
so do it, and do something else is what youre saying?
 
I did the same thing just changing who i was interested in but no one saw it. So i would just go with having one on one conversation with the most important people you want to know you are bi
 
As someone who is older (actually, old) but not afraid of technology, I'm a mix of being interested in innovation and skeptical of it at the same time. I'm an advocate of coming out, but also a defender of privacy. I just don't think it's wise to put one's life out in cyberspace for any and everyone to see. For example, I have a fb account and I'm shocked at the number of people who complain about their jobs or brag about how drunk they got. There's a casualness in cyberspace that is not found in person to person contact and I'm guessing it has the potential of biting one in the ass.

I can see the scenario where someone might apply for something competive like a job or a graduate school program and a bigot or homophobe or someone with conservative religious views has control of the outcome. OK, call me an alarmist, but I think there is the possibility of harm.
 
And you'd want a job where you are forced to be closeted why exactly?

Anyway, the interest stat does not show on the newsfeed. But it's there for anyone who cares what you're interested in. And then tell whoever you want to. Mass texting isn't a good idea. Most people will be like "mmmkay? Why are you telling me?" And anyway, word will spread on its own.
 
Rolyo85 said:
And you'd want a job where you are forced to be closeted why exactly?

Anyway, the interest stat does not show on the newsfeed. But it's there for anyone who cares what you're interested in. And then tell whoever you want to. Mass texting isn't a good idea. Most people will be like "mmmkay? Why are you telling me?" And anyway, word will spread on its own.
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have to say i agree with that. if im gonna be out, im gonna be out. not up in your face wearing a rainbow cape to interviews, but if i have an fbook, and end up dating a guy (which once im out, i assume there will be about a 50% chance of my next ltr being homosexual), it is very likely to become apparent on my fbook through status, pics, wall posts, etc.

damn... was hoping to avoid one on one sit downs. did 3, hated em. no negative results, but the process was awkward and clumsy. im pretty emotionally walled off, so its not easy for me to do crap like that.
maybe ill just send out texts to the people i actually hang out with, and let them gossip it outwards.
 
If you read what I wrote I was talking about closet homophobes who might have power, not homophobic organizations. In the US when it will no longer be socially acceptable to be vocal about being anti-gay the homophobes will be in the closet. Just sayin.'
 
njcollegekid said:
have to say i agree with that. if im gonna be out, im gonna be out. not up in your face wearing a rainbow cape to interviews, but if i have an fbook, and end up dating a guy (which once im out, i assume there will be about a 50% chance of my next ltr being homosexual), it is very likely to become apparent on my fbook through status, pics, wall posts, etc.

damn... was hoping to avoid one on one sit downs. did 3, hated em. no negative results, but the process was awkward and clumsy. im pretty emotionally walled off, so its not easy for me to do crap like that.
maybe ill just send out texts to the people i actually hang out with, and let them gossip it outwards.
Click to expand...

Now, don't take it as an insult, but most people don't give a fuck about your sexuality. Sit downs are a must when it's your first few people or the parents. But after that? Not really. Just casually insert it in the conversation. Hell, if you're comfortable enough, make a joke about it. Let THEM ask you, don't make it into a big deal in advance.
 
i understand. the told 3 people, none of em cared. and that makes sense, there really is no reason for them to care.
but there are more people whom i regularly hang out with who i feel should be told, rather then just allowed to find out.
 
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