Come out to homophobic ?

[Kyanimal]

Weeman ...

What it all really boils down to ... it doesn't matter what THEY think! And ... THEY may surprise You, anyway! It's usually different when THEY are talking in generalities, v.s. actually Knowing the person!

The IMPORTANT thing is how YOU feel about it! Do You have a Need to tell Them?? Is it something that You feel YOU have to do??

Unless You're planning on making a "move" on someone ... it's really none of their business! The decision, one way, or the other, is entirely up to YOU!! (And, no!, it doesn't matter what "We" think, either!)

There is Nothing that says You should exceed YOUR comfort zones! Likewise, if keeping "quiet" is making YOU uncomfortable, then, yeah!, perhaps it's time to speak up.

YOU are the Master of YOUR Destiny!!

And ... of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[luminum]

Only do what you're comfortable with doing.

Sometimes, when you come out to people who seem the least likely to ever accpet you, you get surprised. Sometimes they have a change of heart. Sometimes it may be the moment you come out, other times it's after some time and thought.

And sometimes people don't surprise you.

But the thing about coming out is that it's for you. It's an affirmation for YOU about who YOU are.

It hurts and it sucks when your family doesn't accpet you, but I have to believe and I feel from my experience that even when they don't it's better that they know, because there's no more fear of being exposed and no more hiding.

But most importantly, it all has to happen at your own pace.

 

[kurtwild]

if i were you i would tell them,but its a risky thing!
are you close to your family?
i would tell them!they arent gonna kill you,are they?

 

[Jeimuzu]

Try to find a friend who isn't... If you have any, that is. If you tell them first, you have some support, because if nothing else, whether your homophobic friends/family accept you or not, it'll take a while before they're totally ok with it. It's a complete paradigm shift to them, and they'll need time to adjust. During that time, you'll need someone, or you'll just feel alone.

Either way, we're here for you as much as we can possibly be!

 

[Kulindahr]

Jacobim gave some really good advice: find a friend you can tell who will be supportive. If your family reacts badly, you'll need someone. Also have places you can go where it's okay to be gay.
My family basically walked out on me last Christmas, my first Christmas out. I had only two friends left by then, who knew and were okay with it. They helped keep me steady, but in February it suddenly hit me that they really had walked out, and I was where Robertac was at 14: planning suicide. What saved me was seeing a place I felt safe.
I guess I'm saying "plan ahead".

 

[Alive and Free]

most of my good friends are and thats why I am not comming out to them.

 

[trawler69]

Much as I love and trust my family, I have never felt any need to tell them, they probably know anyway. I don't need thier approval to be the way I am. All my friends know, it's not a secret, we often joke about it.

If you feel it would help you to tell them then you should, but if it is just some missplaced sense of duty then don't as it is none of their business. I don't believe we should need our families approval for how we choose to live our lives.

 

[tallguy297]

Mate...Homophobes are people who are ignorant to who and what we are...and in so many cases its not their fault. They dont have enough worldy experience and open mindedness to challenge stereo typical views. They dont know any of us and dont realise that we are living under their noses...

Its either that or they are complete morons who dont want to think for themselves.

Which group do your friends and family fit into? Most of us find that the people we care about and fear telling fall into the first one...and after us revealing our true selves to them find that most of them can accept us and are at least willing to try because we have changed their views....we are still the same people we always were with the same values and morales and principles.

Dont let peoples unintentional ignorance prevent you from being all you can be to yourself and those around you. Challenge their ideas and make them rethink their values!

 

[Kulindahr]

most of my good friends are and thats why I am not comming out to them.

Which over time will leave you feeling trapped. Guys like to check out chicks are comment -- you'll have the urge to comment on a cute guy, but.... can't do that!
I lost almost every friend I had, when word spread I like guys. Yeah, I spend most of my time feeling lonely, sometimes enough that I get physical pains from it. But I wouldn't go back and undo it, because I don't have to restrain myself around people -- the ones I would have had to, ditched me... and in that is a serious element of freedom.

 

[none_2362]

If you are close to your family, try to come out to them first if you feel as if you HAVE to let it out. At least there is a higher chance that they'll still accept you and be willing to work through it together.