coming out and meeting a guy

[josher]

So why does your info say you're Bisexual? I'm not ragging on you, just curious, since you just joined today and say that you're gay.

Does your college have a Gay and Lesbian organization? Check on that.

Are there any local or regional gay newpapers in your area? (Google is your friend here.) They will list social clubs and social organizations you might be interested in.

You haven't said whether you're in the closet or not. If you are, it will always be more difficult to meet other gay guys, until you so come out.

If you do meet one or more gay guys, hang out with them, even if you aren't interested in dating and/or hooking up with tham. Once you know some people who are gay, you'll inevitably meet more guys through them.

And by all means don't let your search for gay companionship get in the way of your studies. You are very young and have a long life ahead of you. Focus on what's most important now, and let the social/romantic aspect of your life happen naturally.

 

[slickery]

You just stated your main dilema, and also the easiest thing to change.

You said you were introverted. Become extraverted and everything will change.

There are no real "tips" for meeting an talking to guys. Just do more things, say hello to more people and something will come along. Just remember you can't sit and wait for something to happen to you because 99% of the time it wont.

 

[MrWright]

You can't "change" introversion. According to any field of psychology currently introversion and extraversion are defined by how one increases and depletes energy - it's not a matter of shyness. It's a common misconception that introverts need to "change."

You can however work on social anxiety and if that's a problem there are a few ways to work through it (good idea to read up on it).

On the meeting guys issue keeping yourself open will do worlds for connecting with others (if people know your gay then the other gay men will eventually know too). You go to college - there are always gay men.

The college I attend has very few gay men comparatively (a bit depressing - rather large lesbian population instead) but there are still many opportunities. Also, like you said research the nearby clubs and head to them. LGBT groups can be good for getting to know other members in the gay community at your college but be warned: most of the LGBT organizations I've attended are the most painfully catty events I've ever witnessed (it is for this reason that I do not attend the LGBTSSA at my college anymore - the people were unbearable).

 

[spartaneric]

Definitely check out any LGBTA groups on your campus (assuming they have them). They're a great place to start and meet new people, especially if you go to a big school.

 

[djmyers82]

I'm kind of in the same situation with trying to meet new people. The advice that I can give you is you will have an easier time meet others if your looking for friends, not relationships. That seems to be my experience so far. Also honestly is always great. I hope this helps a little.

 

[hotatlboi]

You can't "change" introversion. According to any field of psychology currently introversion and extraversion are defined by how one increases and depletes energy - it's not a matter of shyness. It's a common misconception that introverts need to "change."

Oh I disagree with that. Anyone can learn to open up around people and be less shy. I did and I used to be a huge introvert. I still am to an extent but I'm no longer uncomfortable talking to people.

You don't need to "change" in the sense of becoming the most outgoing talkative person ever, but if you are so introverted to the extent that it interferes with meeting people then sure you can improve that.

 

[Crackberry]

Oh I disagree with that. Anyone can learn to open up around people and be less shy. I did and I used to be a huge introvert. I still am to an extent but I'm no longer uncomfortable talking to people.

You don't need to "change" in the sense of becoming the most outgoing talkative person ever, but if you are so introverted to the extent that it interferes with meeting people then sure you can improve that.

I agree. You can be an approachable and friendly person without being the center of attention.

You're not going to make friends being a silent wallflower.

 

[MrWright]

Oh I disagree with that. Anyone can learn to open up around people and be less shy. I did and I used to be a huge introvert. I still am to an extent but I'm no longer uncomfortable talking to people.

You don't need to "change" in the sense of becoming the most outgoing talkative person ever, but if you are so introverted to the extent that it interferes with meeting people then sure you can improve that.

Yes but you still would be an introvert. Fear of talking to others is social anxiety and not introversion. A lot of introverts have social anxiety which creates the confusion. However, many extroverts do as well - their reactions to it just differ.

True introversion defined by Meyers-Briggs has nothing to do with shyness but how one effectively energizes themselves (too much time with others overwhelms them and they refuel with alone time). On the other hand, extroverts become overwhelmed (more appropriately underwhelmed) without enough other people and social interactions energize them.

So that's what I meant by that.

 

[darkdreamerx]

Psychology in and of itself is very subjective and cannot define every situation in life however we may like it to.