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Coming out in a super religious family and country.

P

panman77

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Hello everyone,

I've never done this before, honestly. I mean sharing with online strangers, but i have no one else to talk to about this and i don't want to risk outing myself and getting myself ostracized/killed over it irl.

I've known for years now what i am and i've been fine keeping it a secret all this time, but i'm at a point in my life where i started feeling trapped and unable to progress because i don't have the freedom to express my self sexually. Heck, i've been afraid to even look this stuff up (gay porn and such), much less talk about it with people up until recently, but the impulse to do so finally got the better of me, which led to this thread.

I'm 28 years old now, still no gf or bf and getting by as a HS teacher. It's been fine for me for a while. I couldn't explain it before, that nagging feeling we usually get when something we can't explain or define bothers us and then it hit me, it was seeing all those young teenagers dating freely without a care in the world. After i reached that realization, I considered looking up lgbt communities in my home country to join; not necessarily to date or anything, just to talk about these things, but i also knew that i'd become a social pariah if anyone close to me found out, which was very likely considering how small our country is. I suppose no one can truly live a life of solitude without breaking at some point.
Usually, sports/jogging is my preferred method to take my mind off things, but even that doesn't bring me peace anymore.

I'm not entirely sure what or why i'm making this thread, but i just wanted to vent, maybe if someone can share their stories or their wisdom with me about how to cope with this situation, that would be great.
Honestly, any feedback that telling me that i'm not just screaming into the void with this thread would be nice.

Thanks in advance to all you beautiful people, especially the ones helping me identify those gay porn scenes i post, lol :kiss:
 
I really wish I had advice to give you but if you're in a place where it is unsafe to be out I don't want to risk encouraging something that could get you killed or imprisoned.

I hope you're able to get the help you need.

The one thing I think I can say is that if your family is a toxic presence and you aren't dependent on them, you are not obligated keep ties with them. They aren't entitled to a relationship with you just because there's some genetic relationships.
I don't know what your relationship with your family is, and I'm not saying you need to cut ties or burn bridges, just that if that's better for you it is an option and you don't have to feel bad about it.

Stay safe and good luck!
 
SeaCore said:
I really wish I had advice to give you but if you're in a place where it is unsafe to be out I don't want to risk encouraging something that could get you killed or imprisoned.

I hope you're able to get the help you need.

The one thing I think I can say is that if your family is a toxic presence and you aren't dependent on them, you are not obligated keep ties with them. They aren't entitled to a relationship with you just because there's some genetic relationships.
I don't know what your relationship with your family is, and I'm not saying you need to cut ties or burn bridges, just that if that's better for you it is an option and you don't have to feel bad about it.

Stay safe and good luck!
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kind words. You don't need to worry, i would never out myself unless i'm 100% sure i'm safe.

As for my relationship with my family, well it's pretty standard, i mean i love them and everything and i am fairly certain they love me. I wouldn't even condemn them if they ostracized me for coming out, because i know how they would interpret it in a religious sense.
Being gay is like a one way ticket to hell from their perspective and they don't want that for me, so they would obviously do anything to make me change my mind. Yes, they are regressive and not understanding, but they're still the family that raised me and took care of me, so cutting ties would not be an option for me.
Ideally, i would like to separate my private and family life, perhaps one day if i ever get the chance to go abroad again.

In any case, thank you for your kind words of concern. It's nice to know that there are people who give even a little sh!t, even if they are total strangers. :kiss:
 
It's hard to say without more information. Is it illegal to be gay where you're at? What religion are you talking about? I everyone a religious fanatic or just your family? Are the religious fanatics in charge? I assume from your mention of hell that we're talking Christians here.
 
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