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Coming out in Dixieland

T

terps420

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Congratulations, you've come to terms with yourself. :) That's farther than some others will ever make it.

More than likely, those closest to you already know. The real, meaningful, fulfilling relationships you already have established- you know who they are. The same way your parents and some of your friends have faith in god, you should have faith in them. Tell them. It's really cliche and sad but true, "those who matter shouldn't mind, and those who mind shouldn't matter."
 
It's different for everyone. Some people find that people already suspected. However if your family is very homophobic (like mine) you may find that they had never considered that because they just couldn't conceive it being true until they had to face it.
 
Piggy said:
Welcome to JUB

Have you thought about moving somewhere less conservative?

When I came out, I told one person, my younger sister. It felt great knowing someone else finally knew my huge secret. If you feel the need to tell someone, choose someone you're very close to. Someone who you know won't tell anyone else. Good luck.
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Couldn't have said it better myself. I can understand where you come from speaking of the surroundings that you live in and those around you, (I live in Alabama), but don't let that alone deter you from being true to yourself. My advice as far as feeling the need to get it off your chest would be exactly what Piggy suggested: Try the first run on someone close to you. The very first person I came out to was my older sister who is extremely close to me. I felt such a relief finally getting that part of me out and it made my day-to-day life much easier.

Let us know how it goes when and if you decide to come out to someone, we're all here for ya.

With that being said, Welcome to JUB!
 
My boyfriend and I both came out to our extended families in the redneck regions of Florida, and both had the exact same thing happen: three of our relatives came out within the next year (three cousins for me; two cousins and an uncle for him). It really just takes someone to be brave and do it, and it makes things better and helps air out a lot of issues.
 
I grew up in bumfuck Texas. My family is Southern Baptist and we all know how they feel about the gay. So I can understand the predicament you’re in.

First, you know your family best, I don’t know how old you are or what your situation is but if they’re paying for your school, or you’re living at home, and you’re pretty sure there’s gonna be drama. DON’T tell them until you’re on your own and can support yourself. It’s acceptable to protect your physical stability.

Second. Make a plan. Moving somewhere else isn’t running away. I moved to WEHO after college because I wanted to live in a gay friendly environment. It can be done, but what ever you do, make a plan. Think out where you want to be, and how you want this to go, then put all the pieces in place before you act.

Third. I have five brothers, a ton of cousins, all of them Texas good ole’ boys, with their trucks and shotguns and coolers of beer. They look, sound, and posture like a straight up homophobic nightmare. But none of them have problems with my gayness. They didn’t know how to take it when I first told them, but they all came around in the end. Don’t sell your family short. My Mother who’s as devout a Southern Baptist as they come, told the preacher to get bent when he instructed her to cut me out of their lives if I wouldn’t renounce my sin and repent.

Fourth, which kind of ties in with second, you’ll never have a fulfilling life if you live it in fear of what other people are gonna say. It’s your life, you are priority one, you need to build a solid, honest, foundation for your life. There or anywhere else. In the end it’s not about the haters, and the disappointments, and the people who can’t accept, it’s about you and your life, and your happiness, and if you can’t be happy there, then be happy somewhere else.
 
I live close to winston salem...bout an hour and a half away. I know what your going through man I am in the same situation. What makes it easier is surrounding yourself with people who are open-minded people, so that when you do have the courage to come out to those around you now, you have people to fall back on if something doesn't go like you want it to. It's hard coming out in places like these but it is necessary. good luck to you.
 
hey man

I had a look for your forum where you've been taking crap but couldn't find it. Maybe post the link. Sometimes taking crap is not a bad thing. It toughens us up and gives you a chance to learn to defend yourself. If it's online it's even better to toughen up than in real life. Still now you're back here with the cuddley guys!

I like your astronomy blogs by the way. You gonna do one about Mars? I think this december it is the closest we will see in our lifetime.
 
Magnetar said:
I'm gathering my wits and gonna come out to a friend tonight.

If that goes well, I will come out to my parents too.

Time for me to grow up and face the music! I'm ready.
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Congratulations! Good luck!
 
It's amazing how much your tone has changed in just the month or so since the start of this thread. You're really coming along nicely (I especially liked the comment about the universe now seeming so much larger than it did before!).

I, too, owe a huge debt to fellow JUBbers, many of whom aren't even here any more. You're right, this is a great place to learn more about who we are and allow us to think things through.

Good luck tonight! (*8*)
 
pbateman said:
Yeah, sorry- the first post was long.. I probably should've condensed it.
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Ha ha. That's not what I was referring to at all. Everyone should read the first 20 posts or so, and come to their own conclusions. Very interesting thread.
 
hey magnatar any news on how things went? We're all routing for you man.
 
Magnetar said:
So I just say it right then and there, "well I'm gay what do you think?"

I about fainted...

She raises an eyebrow and says "oh, ok" and the milliseconds after that felt like twenty years. "It's not a big deal Aiden." So I started to cry you wouldn't believe how intense it felt to actually just say it to somebody!
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Awwww, that's so sweet. (*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)

And, yeah, I think just about every out gay gut knows the intensity of that first time saying it out loud. We've all been there.

It gets easier the more people you tell. And you start feeling a lot better about yourself. And you can start being yourself.

Congrats, Aiden, on coming out! :kiss:

As Lex says, Welcome to the Dark Side. (!)
 
Way to go Aiden...and thanks for the UNC Tarheel post...it was time
 
Yes, it is. Nothing's easy.

But use your brain and your heart. That's the best you can do.
 
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