Coming out is too easy nowadays

[mega]

It is easy to come out nowadays. But its just people need to becareful on how they are open about their sexuality because it can lead to blackmail, and all that other bad stuff. Like in my case.

How can you be blackmailed about something everyone knows?

 

[Soilwork]

-and the public acknowledges no such thing as absolute gay or straight, only that there's a spectrum that runs from one end (attraction to the opposite sex), to the other end (attraction to the same sex) and that everybody falls somewhere in the middle

Sorry.. I don't beleive this.

there is 0% of me that's attracted to women, and I know lots of gay men who feel the same. I also know lots of straight men who aren't attracted to men in the least.

I really wish people would drop that whole "Everyone is bi" bullshit.

 

[Lube]

OK, maybe I should change the title of this thread to "Coming out as a gay man nowadays is too easy."

'Cause it sure seems that coming out as a bi guy still causes all sorts of issues.

My personal opinion is a mix of Soilwork's and Taiger65's theories: I think there is a spectrum, but that people can fall anywhere on the spectrum: from 100% gay to 100% bi to 100% str8, to everything in between. Just like hair color or skin color.

It's clear from these forums that some gay guys simply could not get it up in the company of a woman. Others say they like both sexes equally; I take them at their word. Personally, I can fuck a woman or a man, but I find gay men generally a lot more interesting; so my preference is definitely for men, so I call myself gay.

You can call me whatever you want.

 

[jimminychricket]

See what you're missing?

And perhaps they knew it was coming some day. Is that possible? Often other people know we are gay before we are willing to admit it.

That was the thing with my family. They pretty much supported me and my sis and mum already new. So it was all peachy! even my dad is in a don't tell it won't be a problem, kind of thing at the moment.

 

[Riverrick]

It all depends on the situation – the person, the community he lives in etc.

I’ve done work with gay youth and know many who wound up on the street when the family found out. In some cases they turned to prostitution because they felt it was the only way they could make a living. I once mentored a young man (15) whose grandmother had custody of him because his parents didn’t want him. Then she got tired of him and told the family court judge that he was sneaking out at night to turn tricks and she could no longer have him in her house. It was a lie; she just didn’t want him anymore. He ended up in the foster care system.

Two weeks ago a young man was gay-bashed in Brooklyn, New York. He made a date with someone he met on the Internet. When he got to the agreed upon place he learned it was an ambush. Three guys beat him and then pushed him out onto the Belt Parkway where he was run over and died.

Every November there is a transgender day of remembrance. Groups throughout the country gather to remember people who been victims of hate crimes within the last 12 months because of their gender identity. My church has been hosting one in our city for several years. There are generally between 12 and 17 names in the United States. This event is only about crimes against transgender people, not the gay community at large. The number would be much larger if it were all LGBT people.

I don’t say this to scare anyone, but we should be aware that there is still a long and difficult road ahead of us.

For some guys and girls, coming out is still a nightmare. We have had posts in our forum here from people who have been kicked out of their homes and ostracized by their families and friends.

So sometimes it is a BIG fricken deal. Which is why everyone is afraid to come out. I always like those happy endings where everything goes smoothly.

 

[doctorsun]

Sorry.. I don't beleive this.

there is 0% of me that's attracted to women, and I know lots of gay men who feel the same. I also know lots of straight men who aren't attracted to men in the least.

I really wish people would drop that whole "Everyone is bi" bullshit.

I'm with you on this one. I do believe that bisexuality exists, but I really think it's a cop-out to say that "everyone is bi." Admit that you're different. We all have.

I also think all of this "pansexual" and the like terms are also cop-outs. If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's a duck. If it sucks cock and eats pussy, it's a bisexual. Perhaps it's not PC to attach such strict labels, but I don't think the appropriate way to correct that is to pull MORE labels out of you ass just to make you feel better about being bisexual.

 

[taiger65]

My personal opinion is a mix of Soilwork's and Taiger65's theories: I think there is a spectrum, but that people can fall anywhere on the spectrum: from 100% gay to 100% bi to 100% str8, to everything in between. Just like hair color or skin color.

you're right. i don't know why i said that, but now that my mind is functional, i also gotta say i'm 100% gay.

 

[luminum]

Congrats, Lube!

That's awesome!

But coming out still isn't 'that easy' for many. :\

 

[Lube]

Congrats, Lube!

That's awesome!

But coming out still isn't 'that easy' for many. :\

Thanks, Lumi. Yeah, this thread title was partly tongue-in-cheek. I certainly don't mean to minimize the tribulations some guys go through--it's still Hell for some guys.

But for a lot of guys, society/family/friends are light years ahead of where they were 20 or even 10 years ago. That's a Good Thing.

 

[treanir]

But for a lot of guys, society/family/friends are light years ahead of where they were 20 or even 10 years ago. That's a Good Thing.

It is indeed, but that does not take away the fear of coming out. There are still a lot of ignorant/hating people out there.

 

[Muskox]

.... In Europe (and in more places in the world these days), people don't even bat an eye-lash. It's defintely a good thing.

I agree that a lot has changed in the last generation. As more and more gay people emerge, the general public has come to realize that we're not just degernate pond scum. It's definitely better.

However, don't forget that we, as a nation, still embrace handgun ownership and still kill people for various crimes. For a supposedly enlightened country, we're pretty backward in some areas.