Coming out of the closet at work?

[martin6]

Hi Piggy! So do you mean like you want to make a general announcement about it, or more like if that beeyotch of a co-worker you have says something ignorant again, you want to be able to freely tell her to shove it (in a nice polite way, of course!)??? I think it would be no problem to do the latter but inappropriate to do the former.

There were a few teachers in my high school that everyone knew were gay... but nobody really said anything about it. I dunno what that says to you, but I thought I'd mention it.

 

[TomahawkEagle]

No one where I work right now knows about me. Every time someone pops a gay joke I pretend to find it funny though sometimes they are funny.

I've told a few of my workmates in the past about me. Of course I would have to get to know them and some how trust them first. It's also hard to hide things when you get caught checking out another guy.

 

[rareboy]

Declaring as a bisexual in the workplace would be suicide.

No one will trust you.

Better to be silent or declare yourself gay.

 

[Oden_grey]

Personally, I think the only people who are worth telling such things are your good friends and loved ones... I think your sexual orientation isn't anyone else's business. Work is to pay the bills, it's not a social pub.

 

[looseliam]

I dunno, piggy. I just caught the thread about the comment your colleague made regarding the hyper kid.

Perhaps it may be better to keep quite for the mean time.

 

[TaigaStar]

From what you're telling us about work, I think it would put you in a negative light... especially with this new issue about your former student.

 

[martin6]

Is this a sign or what?

First, the teacher making bigot comments.

Now, this with the student.

I won't be telling anyone at work I'm bisexual anytime soon.

Yeah, with the "kid incident" to worry about, I'd keep it to myself, as well.

 

[TomahawkEagle]

Recently, I've been thinking of coming out of the closet at work.

I told my sister three months ago and have felt a great relief ever since.

I am tired of hiding who I truly am at work.

Like at home, I wanted to tell one of my co-workers and friend.

Working in a school, I'm worried others making a big deal about my being bisexual.

In a few years, I'm hoping I'll be out of the closet completely.

Anything other than "being straight" is not good in a school environment. Careful of the "paedophile" label. While guys abuse girls too, it appears that, homosexuals seem to be called paedophiles more.

Of course that depends on how conservative your workplace is.

 

[nihilis]

I don't think sexuality and school mix very well, and don't see why people would need to know anyway.

 

[okstatecowboy]

P.-

I would check to see what the district non-discrimination policy says beforehand. If gays/lesbians aren't listed as a protected group, you could face serious problems if someone brings the information to the administration.

mikey

 

[boy0boy]

I had a teacher who was and never publicly stated it, so most people knew based on his boyfriends or whatever out of school but in school everyone was professional to not bring it up. In gossip is another thing, but you can't prevent that...

 

[1122]

My favorite teacher was fired after a student saw him at walmart with his b/f and he admitted in class he was gay. He was fired in the next period, and forced to leave by the school resource officer.

 

[nihilis]

Because some of my co-workers are my friends.

If they're good friends and you can trust them, then tell them. I don't think a general announcement's a good idea, nor do I think saying anything to your friends is a good idea if you risk losing your job over it. As others have said, find out about discrimination policies first, then go from there.

 

[okstatecowboy]

...and I hope he sued the HELL out of their asses!

He may not have been able to if there was a morals clause in his contract. Different districts have different morals clauses -some larger/progressive districts have dropped such clasues. Most state something along these lines -teachers will abide by and adhere to the morals of the community.

This is one of the more interesting aspects of educational law. It's always interesting to see how the courts decide such cases -in the cases I've read about, the court sides witht eh district about 70% of the time.

mikey

 

[TomahawkEagle]

It's the school's loss if they don't like homosexuals. Of course you'd need the upper hand by finding another job first.

If all schools are like that then there may be a problem because this would follow you around unless you change careers.

 

[spreadeagle]

If you're worried about revealing the nature of your sexuality in a work environment I would have thought that was a pretty good indication that it wouldn't be wise to do so - trust your instincts.

Schools, in particular, are a work environment where it pays to be reticent about details of your personal life. There is absolutely no need for anyone to know, or need to know, which way your inclinations lie unless they are planning to hop into bed with you and presumably that won't be happening in the staff room. Once it becomes common knowledge it's only a matter of time before the information is used negatively by a disgruntled student.

It's a mistake to think that total revelation of minute details of your sex life is actually going to make a friendship deeper; friends will like you regardeless of your orientation or despite your orientation but rarely because of your orientation - and if they only like you because you're gay or bi or straight then how meaningful is the friendship really?

If friends happen to be colleagues too and you feel the need to disclose, then tell them away from work and get a guarantee of their confidentiality beforehand.

 

[okstatecowboy]

But how does that violate a morals clause?

He was just living his life, out and about with his boyfriend. Just because a student saw him, and he later admitted that he was gay...it renders him able to be fired for being homosexual? That's not fair at all.

That school district screwed him over really bad.

Well...do you think he would at least be able to get a job somewhere else then?

I'm sorry...I'm not good with laws and such.

Morals clauses go back to the early, early days of teaching when most teachers were single females. In order for the community to protect the teacher (and the children), morals clasues were inacted. In todays' society, there are enough laws on record that morals clauses aren't really needed, but districts keep them as part of tradition.

The teacher agrees to abide by the morals clasue, not upsetting community standards and morals and the such. In some cases, this includes things like drinking in public, out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and homosexuality. The teacher can be fired for breaking the morals clause, and most courts would stand behind the district rather than the teacher. The courts would state that the teacher knew going into the contract that there were things the community would not tolerate and the teacher chose to break the trust the community had for them.

I'm not saying it's fair; it's simply how it is in many locations. In my district, a teacher can have a child out-of-wedlock, curse out students, and I don't have to fear being fired for being gay -but if we're seen in public with alcohol, we can be fired.

As far as getting a job elsewhere, it depends. Most districts are fairly tightlipped about why they fired someone and will usually give great recommendations to potential employers. It's up to the potential employer to discover issues on their own. If they talk with former co-workers the truth usually comes out, but many districts don't take the time to contact individual teachers, they rely on the administrations' view.

mikey

 

[okstatecowboy]

You're welcome.

I finished my education administration degree last spring and the Ed Law course was my favorite. I learned more from that class than any other one -my current principal hates that I quote all these court decisions when I want things my way.

mikey