Coming out & The boy at the store

[socal21]

Okay, so quite a few things have happened in the past few weeks, but yet again i've found myself not knowing what to do lol. First and foremost I came out to my mom a week ago, but after I did, nothing has been said about it. I just got an "I'm proud of you" later the night i had told her, which I took as my "I accept you"

Second, If you look back at a couple of my posts. I posted about the boy I fell in love with, whome is now my friend and have a farely good friendship. We go to the same school together,but with all honesty my feelings are still there. And even though he has a bf and I respect that, I can't help but feel sad and hopeless when he talks about his bf. Another problem I have with this situation is that, even though I think I conceal my thoughts and reactions, Apparently I don't. He asked me last week if It bothered me,and if I opposed of his relationship (ugh,yea!) but of course as his friend, I said no. Now even though I like that were still together as friends, I don't understand why it is I kept him around, and didn't just forget about him like any other guy that might have not shown interest.

And lastly... I haven't had much luck with love and I've never been in a relationship, and I hope to change that soon. The other day I went to a store and as I was shopping around, a cute employee caught my eye, and he actually gave me a really nice smile, not a curtesy smile,but a smile that showed interest.... I think. After that I was immediately drawn to him. I caught him checking me out a couple times and when I looked back he smiled again. The next day I went back to the same store,and he was there once again,and again smiled when he saw me...He came up to me this time and said hi,and offered help. I jumped right in and said yes, I asked to see some shirts and as he was showing me, he asked ' were'nt you here lastnight?' I answered yes, and he said yea I remember seeing you, after that we continued small talk and introduced ourselfs. After i said i was leaving he said ' it was really nice to meet you,Andrew' I had a tingly feeling run through my whole body after that. 3 days later (lastnight) i went back, and he was there *sigh* he saw me and said Hi Andrew! and i said hi back, we ended up talking about our weekend, but still no exchange of numbers, I think were both a bit intimidated....how can i ask? does this mean he's into me?

I know i'm farely new to the game, but I'd really like for this to maybe be something, so please guys! ADVISE! BRING IT!

 

[socal21]

really? no one has anything to say?

 

[bankside]

It's as good a way as any to meet someone. But at the moment you're his client and he's your retailer. That kind of defines your relationship and limits it. If you have a chance to get to know him in the freedom of some other location, you'll have a far better idea of his intentions. Checking you out could very easily be checking to see if you need a fitting room.

Or he could be checking you out.

You'll never know in a retail store, so next time you're there, ask him to join a group of your friends on the following weekend. He's not expected to wait on you like a shopper in a store that way, but he's also free to get to know you if he wants.

 

[Just_Believe18]

An employee is not going to ask a customer out. If he makes a wrong advance, a complaining customer can have him fired. You have to instigate this by asking him out. Find an excuse to have coffee with him to talk over a shared interest you have with him or "something more you want to know about" about whatever topic he said that fascinated you. Once you exchange numbers, send a text and take it from there.

 

[socal21]

An employee is not going to ask a customer out. If he makes a wrong advance, a complaining customer can have him fired. You have to instigate this by asking him out. Find an excuse to have coffee with him to talk over a shared interest you have with him or "something more you want to know about" about whatever topic he said that fascinated you. Once you exchange numbers, send a text and take it from there.

I've been thinking about doind this,but I don't know how to do it, cause what if for some reaon apart from the smiles,small talk and eye contact, he's straight?

 

[Elwood]

I've been thinking about doind this,but I don't know how to do it, cause what if for some reaon apart from the smiles,small talk and eye contact, he's straight?

Well you will never find out if he is straight if you don't approach him. Call me crazy but I don't think a guy who is not interested in you would say Were you not here last night, and then reply ya I remember you. I think he is interested as well. Next time you are there ask him if he would like to get together for a coffee or drink or something, and take it from there!! Good luck and don't forget to let us know how it worked out.

 

[rareboy]

No risk, no gain.

 

[Lefty]

So you are in his place of employment.

He says hello Andrew.

You say Hello Damon.

Slight pause....."Hey Damon, you get a coffee or smoke break pretty soon....uh maybe even a lunch break and no commitments?"

Assuming his response is affirmative...

"Do you want to go (across the street or wherever), I'll meet you there and we'll have a chance to chill?"


Or,

"...OH, Can't get away right now? Here's my (whatever comm you decided to use), I'd like to tag up if it works for you."

Either way, you are not pushing but not slamming the door in anyones face either and still keeping it professional but friendly..

 

[ericrustad]

Maybe it's easier for me, but I just flat out say "hey, let's hang out some time, here's my number, or what's your number" but then I've grown out of my shell long long ago...not that I was ever in one to begin with, lol.

 

[youngnihilist]

Almost certainly interested and a lot of guys at clothing stores are into guys... I've met straight ones too, they are friendly but don't go out of their way to small talk and make eye contact and smile.

 

[socal21]

This is all awesome advice guys! and I do take them all into concideration. Therefore I'm going back tonight,and hopefully run into him

...I'll keep ya posted!

 

[billybob109]

A young person in retail does not really care about if you need help or not that is just an opener. I always find a hot guy at my job and ask him if he needs help to see if i can get a vibe going or not, and he remember your name?? I would go back again and ask him out but not on a date as friends first.

 

[socal21]

k,so i went back again lastnight and today and no sign of him anywhere should I keep going back? I feel a bit weird going in looking for him,and then leave since he isn't there lol

 

[Elwood]

Keep going back or ask someone in the store when he will be working next. What do you possibly have to loose?

 

[hotlatinchulo348]

Wow, I am really interested in hearing about what happens.. I have a good feeling about this one. Take the risk man, I kick myself every time I don't.

 

[socal21]

UPDATE: So i've kept going back everyday,and nothing. I finally got the guts to ask this other girl that worked there if she knew if he was working that day, she said she would go check the schedule,but would not be able to tell me when his next shift would be....big help she was. lol

 

[Lefty]

since you know his name,

do the hallmark thing

get a 'hi' type card, put your contact in it and a note saying you'd like to do coffee or a beer and ask him to let you know. drop it off

no strain or pain and no embarrassment...if he don't answer, no one has to know (except us of course)

 

[socal21]

since you know his name,

do the hallmark thing

get a 'hi' type card, put your contact in it and a note saying you'd like to do coffee or a beer and ask him to let you know. drop it off

no strain or pain and no embarrassment...if he don't answer, no one has to know (except us of course)

I would totally love to do something like that,but i'm not sure his employer would let me do that?

 

[Lefty]

No, No.

You don't give it to his employer. You give it to a fellow employee and ask them to put it in his mail box or locker or whatever facility he is provided with at the shop.

Its amazing how 'sympathetic/understanding some fellow employees can be under similar circumstances.

 

[socal21]

MAJOR UPDATE: Today was the day! I went in, and there he was. He didn't see me and I kinda seaked up and said Hey you! he looked over and said hi as he smiled. I told him I hadn't seen him in a while and he laghed and said 'yea! I know! They cut my hours off big time' we chatted very little,cause it was pretty busy,but I just went in for it. I told him I had gone in a couple nights before intending to ask him to go see a movie he had mentioned he wanted to see from my previous visits, I said I wasn't sure if he'd be interested,but that I'd like to go see it with him. He said yes and so I asked ( I might have stumbled upon my words a bit) Is there a number where I can call you? and again he said yea,sure and he gives it to me

...After that I pretty much left right away,cause I was surprised and a bit embarrased, but I told him I'd text him my number, Which I did about 4 hours ago. now heres what i sent 'Hey, It's Andrew here's my number,hit me up when your free ' was that good? Is it okay that I haven't heard from him yet? Or did I might have come out a bit creepy,and maybe thats why He didn't reply?