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coming out to another web forum that you frequent that isn't lgbt related. yay or nay?

  • Thread starter Thread starter refujiunderground
  • Start date Start date
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refujiunderground

Guest
let's say that this forum has a huge homophobic presence on there but you're widely known and have a reputation on there, would you do it?
 
I'm on a few other websites - a sports one, a music one, an industry one. I'm out on all of them. Hell, I specifically joined another messageboard where people were talking about "faggots" just to spread some knowledge. :)

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
I'm on a few other websites - a sports one, a music one, an industry one. I'm out on all of them. Hell, I specifically joined another messageboard where people were talking about "faggots" just to spread some knowledge. :)

Lex
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ever you had other members harass you because of it? what did you do if someone tried to harass you? it seems as soon as the word spreads that someone is gay on the forums that i've seen, they get hell for it.

NaughtyArousal said:
Yo, what up Kanye!
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:confused: wwhhaatttt????

CupidBoy said:
It's not really their business. Before I came out in person I came out on Kylie's forum, everyone was really nice about it.
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i agree. did that site have homophobic members on there?

me personally whenever i see people talking smack about gay people, besides getting offended, i want to basically educate or tell them off or let them know what it's really about since they talk about what it's like to be a gay person like we're animals or something like that.
 
Sometimes I get some grief about it. I've found that if I'm smart on how I respond to the comments, I usually get more people over to my side than otherwise. Occasionally, there's somebody there who will have to say "faggot" in every post referencing me, but it usually pisses off the other members long before it pisses off me.

Lex
 
CupidBoy said:
Well one girl was like 'how do you know you are gay if you've never been with a girl?' Other then that nothing bad happened. Though Kylie's fan base is mostly gay men and cool chicks. :lol:
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:lol: she wanted your dick.

but if that's the case, you were in safe terrority. better there than somewhere like bb.com forums.

G-Lexington said:
Sometimes I get some grief about it. I've found that if I'm smart on how I respond to the comments, I usually get more people over to my side than otherwise. Occasionally, there's somebody there who will have to say "faggot" in every post referencing me, but it usually pisses off the other members long before it pisses off me.

Lex
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so you pretty much try to watch what you say in order to not piss other people off so they can have them on your side in situations like that. that sounds like a good technique to use. the only problem with where i'm at is although i have respect from half of the board, i have a lot of enemies as well from basically being over opinionated. i do think if i were to have the whole gay and i'm proud face that it might wad them off but i dunno being that the board is very homophobic.

Harke the Boeotarch said:
Not always a good idea.
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i agree. i've seen some like two guys come out on this forum that i've been on in years and they caught hell for it. everytime they said something, their sexuality was always thrown at them as a diss or their posts were often taken not serious because they were gay.
 
There's a few (non gay) forums I'm on, and no way would I mention anything on them...
(I ofcourse also use a different username there too so if someone was to google it they can't connect me to here or one of the other glbt forums
 
Did that dance. Those that care, do. Those that don't, move on.
 
NaughtyArousal said:
:rotflmao:

I seriously thought I was in the other thread where people were asking if any celebs hung out at JUB.

Oops! (embarassing)
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i was going to ask you if you meant to do that in that thread because everyone heard about yeezy. :lol: he didn't file a gag order on amber rose for nothing. that chipmunk loves his nuts.
 
If it comes up in the course of conversation, feel free to declare yourself. If other members on that forum are making derogatory statements about gay guys, they're making derogatory statements about YOU. If that's OK with you, by all means, let it slide. Otherwise, why let people disrespect you online when you wouldn't let them do it to your face? :confused: Just sayin'.
 
It's a fucking internet forum. What are they going to do to you if you come out?
 
loveguys72 said:
If it comes up in the course of conversation, feel free to declare yourself. If other members on that forum are making derogatory statements about gay guys, they're making derogatory statements about YOU. If that's OK with you, by all means, let it slide. Otherwise, why let people disrespect you online when you wouldn't let them do it to your face? :confused: Just sayin'.
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well, that's not okay with me. i pretty much will step into a thread where people are saying homophobic stuff and call them out on it. awhile back, i was actually going to war with some people in a thread over chick-fil-a. the thing is that i didn't want to ruin whatever point i was making by saying that i was gay because then they would have said "you're biased because you're gay" or something to that nature.

kevbo said:
It's a fucking internet forum. What are they going to do to you if you come out?
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well, the site i go to is pretty much full of ignorant people that will find entertainment off of anything that doesn't match the norm in there. i pretty much have a reputation over there as the "loser". people say that i'm honest on that site to the point where i don't give a fuck and they respect that but whatever respect i have left on that site from people will be gone the moment they hear me say that "i'm gay".

then again, they probably suspected it anyway or they probably won't believe me. one of the jokes about me on that site is if i got pussy yet since i'm notorious over there for bitching about getting any women to lose my virginity with. they'll think that i couldn't get any pussy so i started messing with guys or that not having any pussy turned me gay or something. all i know is that i pretty much am finished on that site whether i admit it or if they happen to find out. that'll be it.
 
-Callum- said:
^ This. If they don't like you for being gay than it's not worth being there. Shut off your computer and go outside. Not befriending people/losing an Internet board isn't the end of the world.
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you're right but how could i say this? i've been there for a long time. i really don't care about befriending anybody on there or whatever else but it's kind of hard to completely ditch away a site that i've been on for 11 years, you get what i'm saying? i don't go there as much as i used to maybe here and there but still... it's like the simpsons being cancelled. you may not watch it anymore but you don't want to see it go.
 
So you're worried about people losing the respect of people who already don't respect you? If their lack of respect now hasn't driven you away, then I doubt what they have to say about your homosexuality will...
 
kevbo said:
So you're worried about people losing the respect of people who already don't respect you? If their lack of respect now hasn't driven you away, then I doubt what they have to say about your homosexuality will...
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yeah, you're right. it just feels like i'm losing my identity though because they think that i'm a straight guy that wants a woman but can't get one. it's like the reality of being gay is hitting home for me the more i tell people that i'm used to being around know my secret. it really scares the shit out of me how i'm exposing something that is very personal to me where it's like i feel vunerable as hell. it's just like coming out to a family member or something. i don't know these people personally but i've been around them so long that they know me like how people in here know me.
 
refujiunderground said:
yeah, you're right. it just feels like i'm losing my identity though because they think that i'm a straight guy that wants a woman but can't get one. it's like the reality of being gay is hitting home for me the more i tell people that i'm used to being around know my secret. it really scares the shit out of me how i'm exposing something that is very personal to me where it's like i feel vunerable as hell. it's just like coming out to a family member or something. i don't know these people personally but i've been around them so long that they know me like how people in here know me.
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Well obviously they don't know you. They know only this carefully constructed facade that you show them.

You'll probably get 10 private messages from other gay guys there in a week.

There are gay people everywhere.
 
refujiunderground said:
so you pretty much try to watch what you say in order to not piss other people off so they can have them on your side in situations like that. that sounds like a good technique to use.
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Well, I don't want it to sound like "I'm careful not to offend the sensibilities of the straight people by not saying I'm gay". I just choose my words carefully, which is something I try to do everywhere in all situations. If I've got something of a modest fan club here, it's specifically because I'm selective about what words I say. And it's less of a "I won't tell them", and more of a "what's the best way to tell them this?"

It just hasn't been much of an issue. Yeah, sometimes somebody lobs something at me. Hell, that happens here. But it's only problematic or drama if you feed into it. When someone calls me a "faggot", I don't instantly feel the need to defend myself and/or take the guy on. It's just some letters he strung together trying to make himself feel superior by trying to make me feel inferior. Guess what - it didn't work. :)

Lex
 
You're probably not going to change anyone's mind, because beliefs are deep and almost unchangeable. So I don't see what the purpose of coming out would be, if it's not related to the subject of the forum. If anything, I would just wait until the topic of homosexuality comes up, and if they start discussing it, that would be a good time to "drop the bomb" but otherwise, why bother?
 
But that's just it. I think I HAVE changed some people's minds. A JUBber was upset by some thing posted in a trucker messageboard. He posted a couple teplies, but didn't want to reveal himself as gay there. So I joined. And said I was gay. And opened the forum to questions. The site is now gone, but here's the link to us on JUB discussing it.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thr...s-Ignorant-Mother-Truckers?highlight=Truckers

No, they didn't go from violent homophobes to PFLAG members in just one post, but that wasn't the point of me responding. The point was to force them to confront the disdain of "them" that they hold. When presented with a gay guy that can't easily just be lumped into their disliked stereotypes, it forces them to alter that conception. Maybe just a little. Maybe they'll just decide "Lex is 'one of the few good ones'", but even that's a step forward because it means, in his mind, there are now "good ones". :)

Lex
 
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