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Coming Out to Straight Guys

PS- I also explain where I am at in the process of coming out (who knows and doesn't know and why) and to please not say anything/ honor your privacy.. My one friend asked what if he outed me, I told him I would then tell people to ask my friend why he knows. I would then tell people how he is an amazing lover and how I shared many special moments with him. (the whole guilt by association tactic!) lol

They then say that is actually a great idea and they ain't telling anyone!

Of course this is in good spirit but just in case you need this idea I wanted to share it.
 
I understand how you feel right now. Coming out is indeed difficult. So many what ifs? get in the head. In my opinion, you are the best person to decide if you want to pursue this or not, and when to do it. Well let's face the fact that in the process it is possible that we might lose some friends. But on the brighter side, who knows they might just be cool about it. This also serves as a test on true friendship. Don't be busy collecting stones or you just might just end up losing diamonds. If they really are your true friends, then they will be regardless of who you really are. :)

I have many straight guy friends who know i'm gay. And they're just cool about it. Actually they're kind of sweet, protective of me, and treats me like a baby. :)

So best of luck! :)
 
Have you come out yet? You'll probably find that nobody really cares that you're gay.

And those that do care are closet cases.

I always find it funny how closeted guys think all their friends are straight (they can't possibly be) and they never stop to consider that if they're in the closet there's a very good chance a couple of their friends are, too. You are not the only gay guy on the planet. And you're not the first or last closeted guy to come out.

So just relax.
 
hi Kien,

Thanks for the feedback and good to hear all went well. So now your friends are aware why you don't talk about girls, and why you don't have a girlfriend. You are totally right, its relieving to tell this to your good friends. I am sure the friendship will grow as you don't need to hide anymore this important part of yourself. I tend to think that soon most (if not all) of the other volleyball players will be aware that you are gay (just like you are aware that there are also other gay volleyball players)?

Take care & great you have set this important step.
 
Glad that your coming out is going well Kien :D As for mine, well most of my straight male friends are pretty open minded (probably because they are art students). My coming out to them actually just come naturally and as simple as when I mention about which guy I think is cute. Its funny now that I think about it, I think I actually come out to them one by one or in a numerical order. Its like this guy is good friend with my good friend. So I came out to my good friend. Then later I came out to that guy. And then his good friend and then his other friend and so on. My coming out to my straight male friends is pretty smooth actually and they don't freak out or mind about it at all. I remember just last month when I actually came out to a few of my guy friends, they told me that they don't mind at all and will support me fully. They also told me they actually like open and out guys then those closeted ones. Lol they even jokingly asked which guy I like so they would go and force him to marry me and then they will go attend my wedding. Guys lol.
 
I am currently in the same situation with my roommate. we met 4 years ago when I was his manager at our old job. Since i was his manager I didnt tell him that i was gay.

now we dont work together and are friends and live together. i've still never told him. its making things really awkward and difficult.

i know he probably knows but just doesnt say anything to me.

we've been roommates for 6 months now
 
i came out to one of my best straight friends last weekend. i expected him to take this news badly, but he surprised the shit out of me. he was shocked, but didnt care one bit. we joked a little about it and he asked me some questions and it was done. he keeps apologizing for things he's said over the years that were homophobic or ugly towards gay folks. every time i tell him its not necessary, but you can tell he is genuine with his regret there.

my experience has been humbling. to this point, ive gotten nothing but full on support and acceptance. still some hurdles and im still prepared for some to take this weirdly, but most of the people i care about know and want me to be happy. its such a huge relief to get it out there and not hide anymore.
 
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