Coming out via email

[Something Else]

Congrats Man!!!

 

[jockboy01]

Yes, definitely congratulations!!!

 

[RicanDAB]

And now I breathe a sigh of relief ... I'm so happy!

I am so happy for you J, more inspiration for me

 

[Jeimuzu]

I just sat down and had a really long phone call with him, and ended up happily throwing in various references to my sexuality, and he was definitely fine with it... not freaked out at all

 

[Sevos-CT]

That's great man, congrats!

 

[Jeimuzu]

Christ, that was tiring. I just came out to the toughest one of all. My best mate chris is slightly homophobic, but i just this minute told him on msn... he seemed ok, but im not sure. I think I've shocked him a lot. We've been best mates for twelve years...

 

[RicanDAB]

This is worth resurrecting from the Coming Out archives ...

I was going to start a new thread with the same title as this one .. but I KNEW I had seen a similar one a while back .. then I did a search and found it. And sure enough I knew I had posted within it in early November:

Hey Jacobim,

Thanks for sharing the email to your friend with us. I know what you are going through because I am considering doing the same thing with another friend of mine. However for me email would not go well only because I know he does not check it every day. I have his phone # so the hurdle is sitting down and doing it.

I hope you keep us posted as to what transpires as a result. I wanna give you a big *hug* because I know you really need one now! I admire your courage and know that you've given me some too.

The friend that I mentioned in this post is the same one that I have been trying to find chance to come out to. I now realized how long I have been agonizing over this and in this post I metioned that phone was better. Well, lo and behold, it has been difficult for me to pin him down on the phone for the last few weeks (I refuse to leave a voicemail because I know if and when he calls me back, my luck would be that I will not be ready to do it). Now I am considering taking the email route with him. I have since learned that he does check his email regularly now. So I think this is the best way to go with him.

He is also the one who I DID speak to on Thanksgiving ... see post from another thread:

I had a good chance to come out to one of my best friends on Thanksgiving. We usually call each other on Thanksgiving and since we had not spoken in a while we were catching up. I was driving to Orlando during the call, and the question came up about my social life and he specifically asked whether I was dating anyone. Well, I kinda had a little freak-out in the car when he asked and I sort of successfully diverted the conversation. I REALLY want to tell him, but I found several excuses for myself to not tell him: (1) I was driving and feared I would pass out (2) I know this was going to lead to an even longer conversation and (3) I was on my anytime minutes of which I don't have that many .

I know, LAME excuses. It's not like I have not come out before, but when I have the circumstances seem more comfortable for me. I intend on telling him the next time I speak to him (ideally we will both have time to talk and I will be sitting on my sofa - knowing me, I will want to share my present and past relationships and why I was closeted for so long). I don't believe he will care and on some level he MUST know, he is not a stupid guy and must have gotten a clue when I diverted the question no matter how subtle it was. I cannot wait to post about it - I gather it would feel soooooooo good when one does about this. Aviator, I agree with you - guys on here are such an awesome support!

I am tired of trying to catch him at a good time to chat and he's never around (I know he is busy tho). I was thinking of sending an email and that way when he calls me it is out in the open - plus I think I could explain myself better and be more comfortable to start things off in written form than by phone (where I would get the lump-in-my-throat thing for sure). It's not the way I think is ideal but it is very appealing right now. I don't want to start the new year with this on my conscience either.

I am concerned that this will appear to be too impersonal given that we have been friends since high school. BUT, it does not bother me how long I have to reasonably wait for a reply by email or phone -- it's gotta be better than wanting to say something. Oh, BTW, we are hundreds of miles apart -- so in-person is not possible.

Any advice guys?

THANKS

 

[Just_Believe18]

Glad it worked out for you. Although a letter is always much more personable and nicer to send than an e-mail.