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Coming out via emial

GayJerseyGuy

GayJerseyGuy

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Hey guys:

I just can't work up the nerve to say it to my friends and family in person! Is it that horrible to email my friends and family with the initial "I'm gay" email, and then follow it up with meeting in person?

HELP...I'm so ready to come out to my brother and sister-in-law...but not sure if emailing them this huge news is disrespectful.
 
Is it THAT horrible? No. But it's very impersonal. It's like sending out a press release. It's much better if you can do it personally for each of them. Do you think you might manage it over the phone?

Lex
 
Say it in person so that you won't have to wait for the email response - the suspense could kill you.
 
I too would encourage you to do it in person.

If you say it to people one-on-one, or just decide to make an announcement at Thanksgiving dinner, in person is the way to go.

Good luck.
 
The first two people I ever came out to in my life (meaning, I hadn't had sex with them, and they knew my first and last name) were via email. They were friends in other cities. While it was good practice, I don't recommend doing it that way.

Put yourself on the receiver's end. It just kind of screams uneasiness. Plus, it robs you of the chance for them to express support and ask questions (at least in real-time).

This is important information, and it's about you. If you are too unnerved to do it in person, then wait a while until you're more comfortable with it and can speak with confidence.

Having said all that, it's not the end of the world, either (in this day and age). It's just not personal, and may not be as respected as in person, but it's not like you're committing a crime by doing it this way.

Whatever you do, good luck--and report back. We're interested in how it goes.
 
Doing it in person allows you to immediately respond to any questions or sentiments they have. It also allows you to clear up any misinterpretations. Either talk to them face to face or give them a call. It shows that you have courage and respect for them.
 
averageguy said:
Put yourself on the receiver's end.
Click to expand...

Sorry, but I like to be the sender lol.

I honestly wouldnt suggest it. It might even be best if you are still a bit uncomfortable with it to do it over AIM or some IM service. That was how I first came out at 16. It is a bit unpersonal but far less than an email.
obviously in person would be the best.
 
You say you're 'so ready' to come out to your brother and sister-in-law but it appears you're not, or you wouldn't be prevaricating here about how to do it - you'd just be getting on with it.

'Coming Out' is not compulsory. In fact, if you just start behaving in ways that are congruent with your instinctive feelings rather than behaving according to what you imagine others think is appropriate for you then you'll find that you are out without actually needing to come out.

The whole rite of passage of coming out so often reeks of seeking permission or revealing some god-awful secret. Homosexuality is perfectly normal - get over it and get on with it.
 
Do it in person, if at all possible. The reason I believe it is so important is for them to be able to see you and look into your eyes. This allows them see that you are the same person they know and love and they can witness, first hand, how you are struggling to share this very important part of your life with them. There is nothing like being able to give and recieve a hug at a time like that. Even if they are not particularly accepting of it, if they love you, they are more likely to feel what you are going through.
Also, you will be better able to read them.

Good luck. You can do it and there is nothing of which to be ashamed.
 
What you could do is email them and tell them that you have something important to tell them. Ask when you could meet for dinner or drinks. What this will do is set the stage, get them prepared for some big news and force you to tell them when you do meet.

By the way, I think in person is far better. The people who have posted here that came out via email had a horrible time waiting for a response to the email.
 
My friend came out via email and his girlfriend forwarded it all their friends and his family.
 
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