Coming out

[Stitch627]

Can you tell to someone "I think I might be gay"?
Or should you wait until you can say "I'm gay" (if that's to happen)?

I've recently come out to 3 of my friends: one gay guy, one very insightful girl and another girl that was into me. And it was more about the first option.

But I feel like even if you say "I might be gay", people think "he's gay" and not "he might be gay". Especially if you add that you dated a guy a couple of weeks ago. I dunno...


Another friend is about to come back from his vacation and my sister is gonna visit me in 2 weeks. So I'm thinking about telling them too.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, that all depends. Do you think you're gay? or do you know you're gay? If you're still not sure yet, there's nothing wrong with saying "I think I might be gay". You can even go further into it. Say you're finding yourself attracted to guys, but still find women attractive, or whatever the case is.

Lex

 

[bluepheonix]

As always lex has good advice, if you think you may also be attracted to girls too, then go ahead and say so if you want. If you know you are gay and are lacking the confidence to say it, i would try to avoid it.

It can be hard to say 'I am gay', but the more you say it, the more confident you become.

I would definately avoid saying 'i think i'm gay' to the parents though, wait until you've reached a point where your confident to let them know where you stand. I made that mistake when I told my mother, it took a good few more talks to stamp out the hope that I was just a little confused.

Whatever you choose though, I wish you all the best

 

[KaraBulut]

Maybe you should worry less about telling your friends what you are and instead tell them what you feel.

 

[CudDULL]

Please don't tell me you are just saying "i might be gay" to lessen the blow of telling them that you are actually gay?

Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to others if you know deep down inside you are gay, otherwise I would see no reason for you to "come out" if you aren't gay. "Might be gay" doesn't cut it either.

So if you're gay, you're gay and there nothing to hide about it if that who you are and if you don't fully know, then you are just curious/confused at the moment and need time before you make that decision.

 

[spencer]

maybe you should find out what you are before you start spreading it around.

 

[Stitch627]

Well, that all depends. Do you think you're gay? or do you know you're gay? If you're still not sure yet, there's nothing wrong with saying "I think I might be gay".

yeah, that's kind of my situation. I think I may be gay, but I cannot say to someone else "I'm gay", it's too much. But I'm willing to admit that I'm at least bi.

If you know you are gay and are lacking the confidence to say it, i would try to avoid it.

It can be hard to say 'I am gay', but the more you say it, the more confident you become.

I would definately avoid saying 'i think i'm gay' to the parents though, wait until you've reached a point where your confident to let them know where you stand. I made that mistake when I told my mother, it took a good few more talks to stamp out the hope that I was just a little confused.

Whatever you choose though, I wish you all the best

I'm gonna wait a bit before telling anything to my parents, I need to be more confident.

Please don't tell me you are just saying "i might be gay" to lessen the blow of telling them that you are actually gay?

Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to others if you know deep down inside you are gay, otherwise I would see no reason for you to "come out" if you aren't gay. "Might be gay" doesn't cut it either.

So if you're gay, you're gay and there nothing to hide about it if that who you are and if you don't fully know, then you are just curious/confused at the moment and need time before you make that decision.

Well yes maybe I say "I might be gay" because I don't have the balls to face the truth or whatever, but I'd like to consider that it's still a step. At least I try to be more open and honest with my friends and myself.

maybe you should find out what you are before you start spreading it around.

or maybe it's part of the process of sorting things out...
and for the record, I don't spread it around, I don't tell everybody, only a few good friends

But there's this gay association at my school, and I'm thinking to pass by when going back to school, in order to meet people, guys I mean. But I fear it might be like a kinda public CO.

 

[spencer]

how did the guy that said don't lie to yourself get the better response compared to my find out what you within yourself response? lol

if you think there's a possibility of you not being gay, then yes you still need to find out.

what reasons do you have to believe that you might not be gay.

 

[Stitch627]

if you think there's a possibility of you not being gay, then yes you still need to find out.

what reasons do you have to believe that you might not be gay.

I don't know...

 

[spencer]

then congratulations you are gay. now go tell whomever you wish and you don't have to say you might be gay, you can just say you are.

Or you can say, friends, I've been thinking and I can't come up with a single reason why I'm not gay. So I guess I am! Yay me!

 

[Stitch627]

No I disagree, I think I have moved on, at least a bit, since this post. Or I'd like to like so. I've been to a counselor. I attended a regular group meeting about CO issues. I talked to my friends about me not being potentially gay and had my first experience with a guy.
So I might not be able to say loudly I'm gay but still. Baby steps...

And I think Spencer's comment was interesting. I mean, You always assume you're straight and then you try to come up with reasons that could let you think you're gay. But what if you assumed you were gay and tried to come up with reasons for which you might be straight??

 

[Lube]

Yes, Spencer was spot on.

How can you think you might be bi if you have absolutely no reason to think you have interest in women?

There's nothing to be ashamed about being gay.

Be proud of who you are.

 

[spencer]

But what if you assumed you were gay and tried to come up with reasons for which you might be straight??

Okay, so let's follow this assumption. Let's ASSUME you're gay. List reasons why you might be straight.

If there are none, then the hypothesis is proven. You are gay. If there are good reasons you're not, then yes, you might not be 100% gay.

So here we go, start the list ... baby steps remember.