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Coming Out

altlover85 said:
RyanE23, do a cost-benefit analysis of this and decide if coming out is worth the risk. I think it probably is in this case as they seem more misguided than malicious. Regardless, saving money to fall back on is a good idea.
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My plan right now is to finish school (I have until 2012.) and try to see financially what will happen at that point. I do want to come out to them, because I am happy, and I feel as my parents they should know that, but like I said (and you put it better) they are misguided.

So we will see what happens.

Chadknowslaw said:
No matter what happens, their first reaction might be bad but remember it is only temporary! A lot of parents freak out at first and they go through their own "coming out" as parents of a gay son. Eventually they arrive at their own acceptance and most parents become loving, supportive and equality-minded.
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A lot of what I have read so far has been with them dealing with the fact that I am gay, once I have told them. Best case scenario would be they love me know matter what. Worst case scenario would be they kick me out and tell me that I am a bad person, and all that other crap.

Who knows for sure?
 
RyanE23 said:
My plan right now is to finish school (I have until 2012.) and try to see financially what will happen at that point. I do want to come out to them, because I am happy, and I feel as my parents they should know that, but like I said (and you put it better) they are misguided.

So we will see what happens.




A lot of what I have read so far has been with them dealing with the fact that I am gay, once I have told them. Best case scenario would be they love me know matter what. Worst case scenario would be they kick me out and tell me that I am a bad person, and all that other crap.

Who knows for sure?
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Hi and Welcome to JUB! :D

The problem is you don't know for sure. I wish I could honestly say that every parent/parents will still love their children, but unfortunately I have seen instances in friends where they love their child regardless, kick them out, or shame them and police them about everything/tell them it's a phase but still love them.

My Father and Step mother were both born in the 1940's so I know that type of mentality you are referring to... I didn't come out until I was 17 (last year) and had moved out of my parents house. When they found out they were apparently disappointed, shocked, angered etc... by they are homophobes, xenophobes, racists and sexist so I really didn't stand a chance myself.

The advise I like to give is to decide for yourself when it's right. You know your family better then we do. That being said, have a backup plan just incase they do become irrational or problematic.

This link might be useful for you. It's the PFLAG for Your part of NJ I believe. They are a great organization that has a lot of info for parents that have concerns about their children or want to learn how to be more supportive or both. Hope it helps! And good luck with what ever you decide!

http://www.jerseyshorepflag.org/
 
Thanks everyone for all the help and advice. I've used most of when coming out to my friends. And I am slowly working towards coming out to my family. I'll let you guys know how it goes. Again thank you sooo much for the help. :)
 
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