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Coming Out

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accord98

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Okay so I've known that I have liked guys for a while. I've already come out to one of my best friends(he is also gay) and plan to tell friends that are okay with my best friend being gay. I'm only worried about coming out to my parents, mostly my dad. I think that my mom already knows and I think/know she will be okay with it. But my dad and I are not really close, I'm worried that this will put us further apart.
I'm kind of working up the courage to tell them that I'm gay but i don't know when the its the right time. Next Saturday I will be leaving on a mission trip for 6 days. I'm thinking that I will tell them Friday night. That way it gives both of us to process my coming out. Do you guys think this is a good idea? Any advice would also help!
 
Hi Accord! You're taking some big steps here, congratulations on taking them head on!

First and foremost, you don't know exactly how they will react. You may be 100% accurate in the assumption, you may not, we don't know yet.

I was in a similar spot as you though - I was pretty sure my mom knew, and I didn't (and still don't) have a great relationship wtih my father.

The most important thing to say in your conversation (aside from telling them you are gay), is that part of this is to be able to build a more honest relationship with them.

When you tell them, be prepared for three reactions: They're both OK with it; They're both not OK with it; One is OK with it and the other one is not.

Most importantly, it's important to remember that you've known this about yourself for a long long time. You've prepared the conversation, you've prepared what you want to say, you've waited for the moment. Your parents, however, aren't going to know that the converastion is coming. They may react with support, love, anger, hostility, you don't know. After the conversation, give them time to breathe. Let them sort out their thoughts. Personally, I wouldn't have the conversation right before you skip town on your mission trip. They may interpret it as "Hey, I'm gonna tell you this, and then, I'm RUNNING!" They may have questions, they may want to talk about it with you... I think it's important to have those conversations with them when they want to, because that is when they are the most open to the discussion.

Best of luck, and let us know how it goes!
 
Hi Accord

Have you thought about telling your mum first,if she seems more likely to accept it she may be good to get on your side and help when it comes to telling your dad.

I totally agree with dhchitown about not telling them the night before you go away.

Just remember to stay confident and calm and keep it simple and to the point.

Good luck
 
I'm first getting to this on Saturday so I'm curious as to what you decided. I think it's best to tell them together. Telling them and running comes from a position of weakness and fear. I think you want to come from a position of strength and clarity.
 
Thanks for the advice guys, it's helped! I haven't told them yet. I was planning on telling a friend first just as practice at saying outloud. I plan on telling my parents before Thursday. I'll keep you posted!
 
So I told my parents and they said that they knew. They are okay with it. What a relief! It feels like the weight of the world is off my shoulders.
 
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