coming out

[smithers314]

ive known i was gay for a while and i finally think im at a point in my life where i want to come out but i just cant get the courage to do it and i dont even know how
any advice would be helpful

 

[Keeland]

Hi, smithers314! Welcome to JUB!

It might help if you could provide a little info, such as your country, so that any discussion or advice offered is more pertinent than it might otherwise be, like any real-life help that ends up being half a world away and illegal in your location.

 

[epod85]

hey, might help to know a little of your living situation. Are you relying on anyone for income at the moment? Could coming out damage that source of income?

 

[smithers314]

I'm an American college kid and my parents pay for everything I do and they will be fine it's mainly my friends im scared to come out to

 

[Keeland]

If your friends are religious fundamentalists, if you're attending a bible college or faith-based "university," you'd be crazy to come out.

If it's not that bad or you live in a more liberal area and attend a more liberal college and the friends you speak of are students there, attempt to find out their views on homosexuality first.

They probably wouldn't all have the same opinion, so if you find one you are certain you can trust, you may want to take the plunge. But trust is big. If that friend outs you without your permission, what could happen?

It's difficult giving advice for another who's considering this, especially when the person giving advice and the person seeking it are strangers. There's too much background missing.

But I'm sure others here will contribute, with more to say while saying it better.

If you're feeling very alone, be aware that you aren't, at least on this board. Many here have experienced the same thing.

 

[checkinthingsout]

ive known i was gay for a while and i finally think im at a point in my life where i want to come out but i just cant get the courage to do it and i dont even know how
any advice would be helpful

What is your social situation? Do you know any gay people already? What are your friends like? Where are you? How old are you?

Please provide more details and more color to your situation. Help us help you

 

[Robert12345]

You say you want to come out. Congrats! That's a huge step.

Your parents will be cool with it you think, so why not start with them, you can tell them you want to keep it hush hush for now.
Also is there a friend that you can confide in and discuss it with him/her first.

I think you should try not to make a too big a deal of this. Personally I think a persons sexuality is private so not telling people is ok too. You don't have to make an official moment out of it if you don't want to.

 

[Seasoned]

You'll find that you'll be direct with the initial people you come out to and than indirect or even casual as time goes on. While this is a huge deal for you because it's a secret and you've gone through the oftentimes most difficult process of coming out to yourself, others may be much more casual about it or may already suspect it.

It's really good that you are looking for advice and many of us relive our own coming out anxiety when we listen to or advise others. Mostly, things work out well, sometimes with no bumps, sometimes a few and rarely significant ones, that is, if you live within the more open and accepting societies and cultures.

The important thing in coming out is the huge burden release. So, to get started, look for the people in your life that you think will be the most supportive. In the long run remember this: it's not worth the inner damage to you to have to keep being gay a secret unless it puts you in harms way.

Please keep us posted and hang around awhile. Your recent story will be helpful to the next person who confronts this issue. All the best to you!