Commitments... Such a drag. (with cute pics of me)

[JFarm89]

For the last few years my parents, urge me to find a gf. At work my co workers urge me to find a gf. My other friends urge me to find a gf. My gay friend urges me to find a shemale at a gay bar one day. My parents and friends don't know why I have been living without a gf for 6 years. I look attractive and rich enough I guess you can say. But I haven't had the motivation to look for one.

I'm more comfortable being around a guy than a girl. I don't mind chatting up about sex. But I don't mind from either sex, to rub my back or, stroke my hair, or give me a smack on the ass. Maybe occasionally a nut sack grab greeting. I do like to make gay jokes, and make my co workers cringe and shutter. Always amusing. But the thing I'm most embarrassed to say to well my co workers. Is that I like dick more than pussy, I still like girls more than guys. But to me shemales are just perfect. But what I decided to do, since shemales have penises. Is that I practiced say sucking on bananas (the fruit kind) Tasting of what my cum would taste like, and doesn't taste too bad. I do feel that I have a feminine side coming out. Like my poses naturally come out.. Girly... I don't like confronting people, usually end up frozen or running away. Don't like watching or taking part in fights that break out. I like taking care of people, if they get injured. I'm that kind of guy who is willing to kiss a bruise or bump on a guy, if he asks for it, or on a girl too, and last years Halloween I dressed up as a Drag Queen. (Most feminine thing that I have done.)

(the one in the red is me )

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d37/Shrukin89/26374_10150130471700099_773025098_1.jpg

And me as a kitty cat :3

 

[JFarm89]

Anyway, I hope I get some motivation back to get me looking for some shemales. (Need to book a trip to Thailand) Who would be willing to go with me? hehe

 

[Seasoned]

After welcoming you and wishing you well, my first piece of advice is to stop with the gay jokes. They send the wrong message especially to yourself. How is anyone in your circle going to be comfortable with you when you docome out remembering how you spoke of gays?

 

[rareboy]

But I don't mind from either sex, to rub my back or, stroke my hair, or give me a smack on the ass. Maybe occasionally a nut sack grab greeting.

Are you sure you're over 18?

This behaviour sounds so immature.

So we can ascertain that you like she-males from your post. Fine. This sounds like more of a sexual fetish than the basis of a relationship.

Being a homo is about more than where you put your cock. How do you picture yourself in a relationship? You say you like hanging around guys more than girls but that you like girls more than guys.

I think you need to sort out a few things before you start going to Thailand as a sex tourist.

Maybe some time with a gay therapist might help you achieve balance in your life and help you understand yourself better?

 

[hylas]

ok... so you have a thing for she-males... you like to dress up in drag... and you appear to be an exhibitionist, too. nothing wrong with any of that. keep exploring your sexuality, and i hope you will find what makes you happy.

your thread title is weird, though: "commitments... what a drag". i mean, i get the "drag" wordplay. but why the part about "commitment"? then that silly banana story and and the thailand comment. trying to read between the lines, i guess youre just horny and need some nsa sex, and your enviroment is pressuring you in an other direction. again, nothing wrong with any of that, i hope you find what makes you happy, i hope you can find a way to deal with your social pressures. but try to communicate a little more clearly and honestly. now you just come across as confused and a little creepy.

But I don't mind from either sex, to rub my back or, stroke my hair, or give me a smack on the ass. Maybe occasionally a nut sack grab greeting.

agree with rareboy... immature and inappropriate. just get laid already and leave your poor friends/co-workers nuts in peace.

I do like to make gay jokes, and make my co workers cringe and shutter. Always amusing

dont compensate for your insecurities and confusion by putting down other people. contrary to what you think, its not funny. its low.

 

[JFarm89]

I apologize, I ramble on about stuff a lot, getting off topic a lot. Sorry for the misunderstandings, but it isn't as bad as the way I said it on here.

Honesty, I've got to work on. I let loose online, saying what pops into my head sometimes without thinking. I either take things very seriously as I'm doing now, or I'll talk from my ass as from what I did earlier on.

Immaturity, I do feel too young, but I don't look too old. I'm 23. I'm actually a very kind and co-operative guy. I'm hard to understand, because my thoughts carry me me way over to the left and way over to the right. The kind of guy that can't make the right decision. If I do make a decision I'll later regret it. Which I do now for making this thread. Would you say these icon pics are immature? yes? I can't see using these pics in a right way you just gotta laugh at these. Sorry going off topic again!

Anyway I'm not looking for sex at all, but I do want to explore my outer limits. But a relationship will come rather later than sooner who knows. I still don't know what I want or what I'll be comfortable with. Maybe being single won't be as bad. Since there are a lot of people getting divorced as what happened to my parents. Maybe I'm the the kind of guy who wants to maybe only date girls short term. I get jealous when my girlfriend goes to other guys when I'm in a relationship with her.

I truthfully don't need to have therapy with a gay therapist. This is who I am. I'm a weirdo, and I just want to be happy that's all. Make people laugh is my biggest thing to accomplish. Being able to make friends certainly. Trying to fight off depression with laughter of course!

Forget the nut sack grab greetings, I still shake people's hands.

 

[JFarm89]

x-cess "dont compensate for your insecurities and confusion by putting down other people. contrary to what you think, its not funny. its low."

Flip this the other way around. I joke about me, so I'm putting myself down, what makes my co workers laugh is that how I expand making their particular jokes sounding worse depending on what they talk about, it is gross, but they laugh at it. This is how I become more socialable, otherwise I would be too quiet, shy, and being alone, I knew what that was like already.

 

[TX-Beau]

So

You're fighting off depression by making gay jokes about yourself?


...the word "confused" floats through the mind looking for something to connect with...

 

[JFarm89]

So

You're fighting off depression by making gay jokes about yourself?


...the word "confused" floats through the mind looking for something to connect with...

Depression comes and goes, any joke will do. Or anything to keep me occupied or distracted. *twiddles thumbs*

 

[hylas]

x-cess "dont compensate for your insecurities and confusion by putting down other people. contrary to what you think, its not funny. its low."

Flip this the other way around. I joke about me, so I'm putting myself down

that only works when youre out, though (i just assumed youre not, although your initial post isnt really clear on it.) think about your co-workers who might be closeted, and your jokes might be making coming out for them that much more difficult.

gay jokes can be indeed hilarious, in my opinion, but only when you know they come from a good place. i can only take gay jokes from other gay people who are confident and comfortable with their sexuality. i might be wrong, but you strike me as rather confused, and people like that usually use jokes to cover for their insecurities, and hurt other people in the process.

anyway, the reason why everybody is so humorless about your ramble is (aside from that it does make you sound like a bit of a hot mess) that the coming-out subforum kinda is the "serious" part of the forum, where everybody tearfully talks about how difficult it was to come out to their dog or whatnot. if you just want to flaunt your dresses or ramble about what turns you on, the amateur showcase forum or the fetish forum might be a better place.

 

[rareboy]

Well, after your second and third posts, I would more than ever suggest that you should seek out a good therapist to work with you.

Your admission of depression is a good indication that you recognize the need to get some help.

A psychotherapist may also be able to help you with your scattered thought process and help you find ways to gain more focus and control over your behaviour.

Best of luck with this.

 

[stripes]

the dude just asked about trannies and everyone jumps on his back about making gay jokes and telling him he needs therapy?

JFarm89, is english your first language?

 

[JFarm89]

think about your co-workers who might be closeted, and your jokes might be making coming out for them that much more difficult.

gay jokes can be indeed hilarious, in my opinion, but only when you know they come from a good place. i can only take gay jokes from other gay people who are confident and comfortable with their sexuality. i might be wrong, but you strike me as rather confused, and people like that usually use jokes to cover for their insecurities, and hurt other people in the process.

If you just want to flaunt your dresses or ramble about what turns you on, the amateur showcase forum or the fetish forum might be a better place.

You're right on the money. But from all the co-workers on my crew from what they say. They are partnered with women or they are currently going out with women. I hear of what they do on weekends and stuff with their dates or woman. So maybe safe to say that none raised their hand in saying they were gay. I'm not the kind of guy who really asks to see if it's okay to talk about these kinds of things. But if it gets a little bit too awkward for them I just say okay I'll stop. If you don't want to hear what I have to say then I'll stop. But I do think things through before I say it on the 2 way radio. I know how to watch my swearing on the 2 way radio and I put the jokes at a mild volume. Cause I do know who is listening.

I certainly will check out the fetish forum. But do you need to show a lot of.. Skin in that area?



rareboy- Thank you for your concern I appritiate it. The scattered thoughts I have is extremely difficult to control. I do have a learning disability called CAPD. "Central Auditory Processing Defecit" This is similar to ADD and ADHD, but this disability has it's pros and it's cons. It has no cure but can be treated not with drugs, but with strategy and a bit of help from others. The major issues that I'm dealing with is verbal and visual directions, and instructions, verbal and sometimes written too. Also I get my co workers to repeat themselves if I don't catch on or tell them to rephrase something that I don't understand. And I write stuff down on paper like directions and instructions. I do go to an Audiologist to see how I progress through.

stripes- Yes english has always been my first language.

 

[rareboy]

the dude just asked about trannies and everyone jumps on his back about making gay jokes and telling him he needs therapy?

JFarm89, is english your first language?

So Stripes, on one hand you're criticizing the advice given and on the other you zoom in on whether English is the OP's first language?

I have a better idea of the OP's situation now and think that with this condition, it is important that he continues to work with therapists to learn how to apply structure and some discipline to helping him to lead the most emotionally healthy and balanced life possible.

If JFarm has a penchant for shemales, then great. As long as there is some sense of how this will be accommodated in the balance of his life.

But I wish the OP nothing but the best of luck in working to adapt to his condition and am glad that it has been identified and he is receiving help to live with it.

And I would encourage him to explore his desires in the most open and healthy way possible.

 

[Spiffy]

Seriously guys, you all are seeming a little rough. While I don't think he needs therapy i'm not going to say it wouldn't help it either. It Probably will help in your case. I just think your confused about life and kind of lost in general which i think is common in young adults. I have a friend who is similar to you he says alot of stuff that may seem immature and ignorant but really hes just finding himself.

I personally don't think your really immature but who knows since i never met you. Anyways i think a therapist would help with your situation, if you feel your not getting anywhere by yourself. Good Luck

 

[JFarm89]

Seriously guys, you all are seeming a little rough. While I don't think he needs therapy i'm not going to say it wouldn't help it either. It Probably will help in your case. I just think your confused about life and kind of lost in general which i think is common in young adults. I have a friend who is similar to you he says alot of stuff that may seem immature and ignorant but really hes just finding himself.

I personally don't think your really immature but who knows since i never met you. Anyways i think a therapist would help with your situation, if you feel your not getting anywhere by yourself. Good Luck

Thank you rareboy and Spiffy I did have it a little rough. But it was my first post so, it comes to say that it is a first impression. But I do feel some confusion, but at the same time I'm trying to also adapt, to this environment. I already had lots and lots of changes within 2 years of my life. Last year I ended up buying my first car, and having a class 3 drivers license just a week after. I bought groceries on my own for the first time by myself last year. Now the biggest thing is that I moved out of the house this year, and moved in with my brother. Also this year my parents are divorced, and my friend's dad died from cancer this year, so it was quite a bit to swallow, so I'm trying to get comfortable and support from the JUB members and have a nice warm welcoming hi.

The therapists, that I do prefer is you guys! All I need is encouragement, and some thoughtful comments. So I'll ask you guys if I need anything I'll be okay.