Complete inability to imagine a happy future

[DarkHelios]

I don't ever go out, never. I never went to party with friends, specially because all my friendships are pretty much on-line. I never leave the house, at night, during my freetime I spend my entire time inside my room

I don't know what I want... I am very shy, I want to have friends and love, but I don't like being around people... I jsut wanted to be happy, that the world to be a place where I could be happy. But there is no hope to that.

I'd suggest trying out some different things to get a feel for what you like.
Reading, videogames, going for walks are all things you can do on your own.

I don't like large groups of people, but find I have a good time with small groups. Maybe you could trying joining something low-key like a book club. If you can play an instrument, you might want to try joining a local band (most of my suggestions are things that worked for me. Feel free to branch out).

I used to think that I didn't really like people at all, but it turned out I just hadn't met the right people. It wasn't until about my 2nd year of university that I found people that I clicked with.

 

[JFarm89]

The suckiest feeling in the world. Is being home alone with nothing to do. You want to do something but at the same time you don't want to do anything. It happens to me a lot. I get super bored then stressed out. Find some things that you like to do. Start things small and work your way up. You want to develop a habit of interacting with new interesting things, before you get super bored. Distract your mind with doing some challenging puzzles. Don't feel bad that it's a Saturday and that you "have to" hang out with friends' but don't want to. They are always around you when you need to talk to them. If you like your hobby of drawing or running or whatever you do that makes you happy. Anything that improves yourself pursue it. You don't have to call up anybody. Do what you want to do that you like, no one can stop you from doing what you like you know.

 

[BlueLantern]

What are some of your hobbies or interests?

If you like being alone, there are plenty of hobbies you can do that don't require other people. Do you like computers? If so perhaps you could work on learning web design or even programming. If you like art perhaps you could pursue that.

I think moving out might be a good idea. I understand you don't have much money now, but at least you could start by trying to save $10 a week or something like that. Start small and go from there.

It might also be good idea to look into other jobs.

BTW, I like your avatar.

I have pretty geeky and obscure interests, like comic books, drawing, tabletop RPGs. This actually only makes me more lonely, there aren't any people around who like what I like, in any sense.

I sometimes wish to move out... but when I get alone in the house for to long (say when my parents are on vacation) I usually... I feel less stable, more prone to think bad things...

and thanks for the avatar compliment.

Reading, videogames, going for walks are all things you can do on your own.

Like said above, there is a problem with not having anything to do those things with, I read a lot, videogames... I sort play too as well, but don't find many partners for that.

Walking can be hard because it might be dangerous.

edit: Also, I am going to see if I will watch those videos later.

 

[altlover85]

I have pretty geeky and obscure interests, like comic books, drawing, tabletop RPGs. This actually only makes me more lonely, there aren't any people around who like what I like, in any sense.

I sometimes wish to move out... but when I get alone in the house for to long (say when my parents are on vacation) I usually... I feel less stable, more prone to think bad things...

and thanks for the avatar compliment.

Like said above, there is a problem with not having anything to do those things with, I read a lot, videogames... I sort play too as well, but don't find many partners for that.

Walking can be hard because it might be dangerous.

edit: Also, I am going to see if I will watch those videos later.

Where do you get your comic books and tabletop games? Perhaps you could strike up a conversation with some of the people there or ask the owner when the next comic event is. Maybe they have a bulletin board?

You may have to focus on online friends at first and then see if you can meet them in real life. You could also try going to Borders or something like that. It might be a good idea to see if they have a book club or something like that you could join. If not, maybe start your own. If I knew there was a comic book club in my area, I might go to it.

If you decided to move out you could get a roommate to help with the bills and try and make friends that way.

What about walking is dangerous?

Good luck!

 

[BlueLantern]

Where do you get your comic books and tabletop games? Perhaps you could strike up a conversation with some of the people there or ask the owner when the next comic event is. Maybe they have a bulletin board?

You may have to focus on online friends at first and then see if you can meet them in real life. You could also try going to Borders or something like that. It might be a good idea to see if they have a book club or something like that you could join. If not, maybe start your own. If I knew there was a comic book club in my area, I might go to it.

If you decided to move out you could get a roommate to help with the bills and try and make friends that way.

What about walking is dangerous?

Good luck!

I go to several boards, but they are usually english so rarely they are of people around, even so, I rarely make much connections.

I too shy, I have... "stay-away-of-human-direct-interaction" tendency... When I deal with people I try to make it quick... I am not much of a talker.

I am terrible afraid to connect with people... I just afraid, I know it is cliche, but let people in allow them to hurt you. I afraid that people will turn out to be homophobes, with they are likely to be. I still in the closet, I don't have any hope to come out, or at least to come out and not be forgotten and dammend by family.

And walking is dangerous... well, just because it is, the danger of getting mugged or worse. I don't have much to walk by day.

EDIT:

one thing It is important to stress... I am 25, I no longer a kid, despite not having actually "living" what many kids had... I just too old, to broken... I feel I can't be fixed, that my chance was gone, lost or that was never there.

 

[DarkHelios]

one thing It is important to stress... I am 25, I no longer a kid, despite not having actually "living" what many kids had... I just too old, to broken... I feel I can't be fixed, that my chance was gone, lost or that was never there.

You're not broken, you just need a change and believe me, 25 is not too start "living" as you put it.

I'm 30. I never even went on a date until I was about 27. I got a late start, but it doesn't mean I can't start doing it now.

I get the impression that you've hit the point where you're thinking that you're not where you'd thought you'd be at this time of your life. It happens to most people and I think the best solution is to keep your eyes open for opportunities to try new things, and to pay attention to whatever makes you happy and do more of it.

 

[altlover85]

BlueLantern, I think counseling might be a good idea for you. You seem to have a lot of issues and not a lot of support.

If you can't afford counseling or don't want to do that, just know that a lot of your fears are more than likely unfounded. I've gone on walks on my own and not been mugged. I don't live in a dangerous area, but it's not the safest place in the world. Perhaps you could go for a walk in a mall or at the store?

If you are having trouble with English, I and other people I'm sure would be able to help you.

I've found most people I've met aren't homophobic. If you go to places like museums or poetry readings or things like that you will probably find open-minded people.

Good luck!

 

[genthree]

BL you CAN be fixed and move on to a good life, don't go to see any shrinks, they are bloody hopeless. Some of us are natural loners who only communicate with the rest of the World on a superficial level - it is a skill to be able to live by yourself and to be able to tolerate yourself.
I don't know your living/work environment. I might be a good time to go for broke and move to a place that appeals more to you. Do a few week end/ 3or4 day trips to places that appeal and then, fuck it, move there. The positive aspect is that it won't be much worse, good luck !