Complicated situation

[Little Lion Man]

Since I was about 16 I have had thoughts on and off of joining the military. I had decided not to, and really had never told anyone. Instead, I started to go to school for law enforcement and am working at the police station. This past year, I cannot seem to get over the thought of joining, but not telling anyone and just going.

I'm still young enough, the only thing is, I have a boyfriend and I help take care of my family.
I haven't talked to either of them about this reoccurring thought and how it's becoming more and more of a desire. I'm not sure how to approach them with this since I know both parties will be saddened, nervous, and I'm sure upset.

Aside from that, I'm also worried about being gay and going into the military. 90% of the people I know here, don't know I'm gay nor know I have a boyfriend lol.

I don't know what to do.

 

[thefishinthesea23]

Well being gay in the military is no longer supposed to be a big deal. Not too long ago I think they (Obama administration?) pass some law to make it ok to be gay in the military (removing the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy I think it was). I am not sure how that translates to the reality of being gay in the military.

What is driving you so much to join the military? Do you know the benefits and consequences of joining? Do you see it as a long term career or just for a few years? Make sure you research extensively before joining any branch in the military. They never give you the whole story and you end up getting more than you expected. I know this from the experience of three family members. One join the Marines and the other two joined the Army. All three of them ended up doing something they didn't sign up to do, because they got misleading information. All three wanted to get out as soon as possible, they felt cheated and irrelevant within the army superstructure.

Make sure you get every bit of information about what you are getting into if you decide to pursue it. Don't trust the recruiters! Get more info.

 

[Little Lion Man]

Obama has changed the way the military will function with gay people serving. I know what I'd be getting into, my father was/is a marine and has talked to me about it before, I just had told him I wasn't interested even though I was. Ever since I was little I knew I wanted to be some sort of law enforcement, not entirely sure why. When I became older and was in high school and learned about the military through recruiters and my father, I became more even more interested in that. The things that are keeping me here now are what few friends I have, my family and of course my boyfriend. I would like to make it a life long career, if I do end up going.

 

[thefishinthesea23]

Well my ex boyfriend really wanted to join the military at some point and I did everything I could so he wouldn't join. 1.5 years later our relationship ended. I am sure my short story has a point (I hope).

 

[borg69unimatrix]

You don't have to be in the military to serve your country. You're already doing a lot by being in law enforcement, helping your family, having a BF and being faithful and loving, and being there for your friends. If you were 'out' you'd be about perfect.

How much more can you give? You're doing far better where you are, IMO, than you could as an anonymous drone fighting in political wars with soldiers who more than likely look down on you. Few there would love and appreciate you... ever.

So... You want to join the military. Are you running TO something, or FROM something?

 

[mc7777]

I am a Police Officer who has considered this before, so I understand that inner desire and passion for service.

My opinion is to stay the current course your on. You got good things going for you at this point in your life, things guys in the service want when they get out.

We need more of our kind in public service - especially in the thin blue line.

 

[mc7777]

PS ^^^ Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about LE, especially being gay in it. I sense you have a strong desire to serve but just aren't being challenged enough? You want something more? LE can and will challenge you like none other just like the military!

 

[mark1111]

I was in the military and think you should really listen to mc777, above.

 

[silentalk]

As I understand, everyone here thinks that enlisting in the military is a bad idea. I have to agree. I don't know much about it to be honest, but all I know is this: I'd hate to be forced to leave my country, live in strange place, treated with humiliation as a part of my training and might be forced to face a situation from which I might not return - Ever!

You might need to learn and think more about this and decide if the risks and the pain is worth it.

 

[Seasoned]

This needs to be discussed with your partner and the family. Please do so ASAP.

 

[mc7777]

Your family and partner could provide you with valuable insight. Who knows they could fully support and stand by your desire.

I say what I said because I interpreted what you have shared as a longing for more, answering a call to service. I totally get that if I have assumed correctly. My thoughts are that with your given situation (family ties, partner) that you can still serve this desire/ longing for more in other ways.

But communication, planning, and working together with your partner and family is key here while you explore this desire in your life!

 

[Supervert]

I joined the military at 19 & went back to civilian life in my 20's; I realized I didn't want to make a 20+ year career out of it until retirement, but I will say that it was one of the greatest experiences at the time & for where I was in my life.

I'd agree with the above post as far as not believing a word any recruiter tells you, and doing your own research.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me...