Condoms Are Not Optional!

[ashonfire]

Over the last few of months I've been with three guys who have been really keen to bareback. One groaned with disappointment when I reached for the condoms and another commented during the act "i can never cum wearing these things" and looked at me expectantly as if I'm was supposed to say "oh really? take if off then!". The other guy said "how about we don't use condoms?" and when I suggested that that was a horrible idea he seemed shocked and then continued to try to convince me of the joys of barebacking. I actually didn't go through with the last encounter cause I was so pissed off and worried about what he might have if he was a regular barebacker.

In the nine or so years that I've been sexually active I've encountered this kind of attitude only rarely so I'm a bit concerned that it's something that's on the rise.

I really don't think it's cool, fun, sexy or smart to put yourself or a sexual partner at risk.

Has anyone noticed an increase in this kind of attitude? Are we forgetting about AIDS and other communicable diseases? Or have I just picked up a few duds and it's not actually as prevalent as I'm worried it may be?

 

[ashonfire]

Sorry to bore you, Splatter!

Fair enough comment though. I just found it odd and new and worrying.

Too early? It's almost bedtime!

 

[Yohan1989]

At first I thought there is a new product LOL

 

[alley]

I make sure to put NO BB in my on-line profile. I still get guys who think they can convince me to bareback. Not gonna happen.

 

[Yohan1989]

Should they both be getting test first before using no condom, if they are couples?

 

[Yohan1989]

A few months back a guy (young) I know told me that his bf was rumored to be HIV+. The guy got into some legal trouble and his friends came to my friend and told him that and that he should be careful. He had been BBing his boyfriend, he confessed, and I told him you should never, ever assume you're safe. Well fast-forward a couple of weeks ago I get a text. He had just left the doctor's office. He tested positive.

I'm wondering if young people just aren't getting the message.

Did he used a condom???!

 

[Yohan1989]

Didn't you read what you just quoted?

Where. lol

 

[luminum]

I think it's a natural social reaction to an era of high concern that was followed by the normalcy of a "constant threat." People got passive. Drugs makes people think that HIV/AIDS is no big deal if you catch it, which isn't true. And the greater insistence on condoms made unprotected sex this mystified and taboo thing. Case in point, barebacking became an actual fetish for the gay porn industry. And it doesn't matter that it may just be "fantasy" (though really, the fact that Dawson of Treasure Island Media is purportedly HIV+ after his 20 and 50 Load Weekend films leads one to believe that it's all too real), because inevitably, viewers will respond and seek out the "brass ring" on their own. It's actually quite frightening how many men exclusively seek out unprotected sex, and I don't mean bug chasers and gift givers, which are a whole other issue here.

Good on you, though, for sticking to your guns. Stay safe and have fun.

 

[CudDULL]

Ugh I know I hate when they don't use a condom, I've only had unprotected sex once and I was so paranoid afterward.

I also notice that a lot of straight couples don't use condoms and just use the pull out method, my roommate swears by it and I find it so disgusting.

It sad because anything is possible and I rather not have to worry about getting any diseases and some people feel like they are invincible to it.

 

[Sha-Rok]

ugh! I've have been encountering more people open to BB and I dunno I stay getting tested. Shit I can have a cold and I'm running to get tested. So the paranoia would be way too much for me. Condoms are cheap and free so use em.

 

[bulge]

Use a female condom (femdom or femidom). Because of anti-sodomy-laws, it could not be approved for anal use, but it is perfectly suited for anal.

http://www.actupny.org/Vancouver/femalecondom.html

It has several advantages. It can be put in in advance. The top has only to care about fucking and nothing else. When put in in advance, he can proceed at whim. No skin allergy. Possibility to use different lubricants.

The denomination "female condom" is the worst misleading denomination ever in history.

 

[NedNickerson]

There's also a gay subculture that has risen from the gay community in recent years called "bug chasers." These men seek out other gay men who are infected, in hopes of having unprotected sex, barebacking, in an effort to become infected with HIV.

Across the Internet, chat rooms and newsgroups are advertising "conversion parties" or "bug parties" where negative men (bug chasers) seek out those who are positive in hopes of getting infected. This practice of having deliberate unprotected anal sex has the potential to cause widespread HIV infection, especially among gay men and men who seek out anonymous sexual partners on the Internet.

Here's several articles you might want to look at:

http://aids.about.com/od/safersexresources/a/barebacking.htm

http://www.theage.com.au/news/natio...e/2007/04/20/1176697091985.html?s_cid=rss_age

Here's an article from Rolling Stone magazine dated January 2003, so you can see, it's been around awhile:
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5933610/bug_chasers

Here's an informative article on "Barebacking in the Gay Community."
http://www.thebody.com/content/art2276.html

This is an article about a seminar which sought to explain the attraction of "barebacking."
Treasure Island Media is mentioned.
http://www.xbiz.com/news/91958

 

[bike10]

Take the time to wrap it guys. Wear those condoms to safe today and live tomorrow.

 

[Yohan1989]

Ugh I know I hate when they don't use a condom, I've only had unprotected sex once and I was so paranoid afterward.

I also notice that a lot of straight couples don't use condoms and just use the pull out method, my roommate swears by it and I find it so disgusting.

It sad because anything is possible and I rather not have to worry about getting any diseases and some people feel like they are invincible to it.

I hope you dont have HIV

 

[Yohan1989]

BBing = Bare Backing...

He didn't use a condom.

Oh I see now.

Well someone was not taking a smart choice. That is sad.

 

[hotatlboi]

I hope you dont have HIV

actually the chances of getting HIV (even barebacking with a positive person) from just one act are relatively low. I've read accounts from guys that barebacked for years before testing positive.

That said, it can happen, so you always want to wrap it up.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I would use condoms even if there was no HIV. I prefer to to leave the way I came. I'm just neat that way. I don't want to be all up in some skank's butt juice.

 

[Lefty]

first question...who the fuck is the government to tell me where i can put my penis in another adult. why is that the governments concern? nosy bastards.

second, why no ground swell the the 'female' condom and its use?

third, ,my point of view: if i'm out in a muddy field during or after a rainstorm i wear protection (i.e. rubbers or boots) following that logic if i'm plowing a field with my tiller (aka ass fucking) then i'm dipping into fertilizer territory and i'm damn sure going to keep my 'tool of the trade' protected.

being bi, i believe in wrapping that rascal regardless of what kind of hole i am in. i don't want any dr telling me a- you are positive or b- congrats daddy. seems simple to me. and respectful of my partner as well

 

[Yohan1989]

There's other things besides HIV to be concerned about.

Yea I know.

 

[slickery]

I find the attitude up the road here, is that the younger generation, say the late 80's early 90's kids assume that no one their age could have the disease. Granted it may not be that present in their generation, but just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.

I know plenty of young sluts, that I'm pretty positive DON'T use condoms. Afterall, my last BF who was 4 years younger then me had the attitude that if you top you can't get it. Needless to say that relationship didn't last too long.

There's nothing you can really do to stop it, except steer clear of people who don't share your views.