Confessing my feelings to my best friend

[socal21]

So my friend and I met in school back in February, and from day one we instantly became good friends. Long story short he came out to me after a birthday party he had over the summer, and I came out to him also. After that he confessed to me that he had a crush on me, and was surprised to hear me say "I like you too"

At that time he was in a troubled relationship, where he just wasn't appreciated for who he is, and I was always there for him, and although I had feelings for him, I would always just help him out by being there for him, and he always thanked me for it. As summer came to a close my feelings became stronger and I became a bit selfish, and wanted him to just drop his loser bf and notice that I was who he needed...I told him I wanted him. He ended up telling me that he only saw me as his friend.

After that total shot to the heart, I accepted it, and continued to be there for him as his friend, but again due to his bf, he and I got into an argument which made us stop talking for about 2 months which to me felt like 4. We started talking again last month, and he officially dropped his lame bf a couple weeks ago, and we hang out almost everyday like we did back during summer. I realized that my feelings for him never went away...Last night he asked if I wanted him to hook me up with a friend we just made through another friend, so I just had to tell him how I felt.

I told him, I knew it was the last thing he wanted to hear at this time, cause he's newly single and he's stressing with school, but I never stopped liking him after everything we'd been through, and him coming back was the greatest thing I could have ever asked for. He said he was in total shock, and that I caught him off guard, cause he honestly thought I thought I didn't like him that way after everything. He also said he told me he saw me as a friend back in summer time, cause he was confused about his feelings for me and the relationship he was in, but that he actually does find me attractive, but he also feels he doesn't want to put what we have now in jeopardy, cause what we have is almost like a relationship, except we don't have sex. He says what I want is the tidal, which in part is true, but I don't think it would change us if we became a couple. I think being in a relationship with your best friend is a beautiful thing.

I do and don't think this was another let down...What do you guys think?

 

[Scottyboi]

I can't promise you it'll be forever but if you guys are as close as you say I can promise you'll enjoy it as long as it lasts.

And really, in this world, that's the most you can hope for. I say go for it.

 

[kallipolis]

It is often true that more love flows between two loving - but non sexual - friends, than between a couple who believe that their sexual life is the result of loving one another.

Time will tell whether you, and he are meant for each other, in a romantic relationship.

Meantime continue to be his most loving of best friends.

 

[HunterM]

You should have asked him, "If we can't be lovers, can we be friends with benefits?"

 

[jaysizzles]

Is he looking for a committed, long term relationship...or does he want to play the field now that he's free again?

If he's not ready...he's doing you a favor by not getting into a relationship with you that he knows (perhaps subconsciously) won't last...not worth the risk of things ending badly and losing you..."he doesn't want to put what we have now in jeopardy"

I think you need to give him time to sort his feelings out as it seems he's unsure of what he wants right now, and basically told you so. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him to come around either...he may never. Remind him occasionally how you feel and continue to be the friend you are.

 

[BearBoi]

In the end you will not regret the things you did, only the things you didn’t do.

In time his feelings may change, but it will have to be at his pace.

 

[socal21]

Is he looking for a committed, long term relationship...or does he want to play the field now that he's free again?/QUOTE]

Here's the thing, he's always been in a relationship, and hasn't been single for a really long time. And every single relationship he's been in, he's been cheated on. So he does have some trust issues and he's a bit self conscious, but I get him, and that was another reason why I didn't want to tell him, cause I didn't want to make him feel pressured, although he did surprisingly he was ready to date.