Confidence, Weight & Outness

[oakmiser]

I don't feel very confident in myself. My self esteem is low, especially in the phsyical department. I'm overwieght but I'm trying hard to fix that.....

I'm out to all my friends and family, including my grandparents, but with the exception of my parents.

I'm starting to feel a bit more confident in myself because I've lost 12 pounds over the last month (yay!) and plan on loosing alot more.

Questions are: Am I going to be more confident when I get down to my target weight?

If I came out to my parents would this make me feel more confident and loose some of the depression that is still lingering in me?

Will I ever just feel good?

 

[windgates]

Three things that I've noticed go together are being closeted, being overweight, and being depressed. I've also noticed if a person is to work on fixing one of these problems, the rest also seem to get a little better as well. Don't know which is the causes or the effects, just a lot of times they seem to be related.

Don't underestimate the depression part though, see a professional if you're feeling down a majority of the time. Many medications can help you with it, and like the other things, start trying to fix your depression and the other things will start fixing themselves too.

 

[walkabout]

ive always got the same problem...i am never confident..heck not even comfortable in the way i look..i have been trying to change for almost a year now..but i am worried about the same thing as u..if i will ever feel confident or not

 

[oakmiser]

Thanks guys. I slight confidence booster has been having more gay friends to talk to. Being more open with my family, although I still don't talk about it around my parents.

I've convinced myself that it's really just NOT my parent's business to know what goes on in my sex life or relationships.

A huge core problem with me is that I was raised in a semi-strict Christian home. Until the past few months I haven't been able to get out and have fun, and enjoy having friendships and being myself. For a long long time I felt that being anything other then straight was wrong, though now I'm coming to terms with this greatly. My father, although I respect that he HAS ideals, doesn't follow his ideals about religion & sex. He is on his third marriage and has had sex before marriage, and I even caught him looking at porn the other day....lol....all of those things he has said were bad yet he himself does.

That doesn't mean I respect him less, it just lets me remember that I am not a bad person if I follow my own needs and desires regarding relationships and sex.

Lastly, I've been working out more and dieting. Both of which have filled me to the brim with energy and made it tons easier to sleep soundly at night.

Though I am still lacking some confidence things are getting better and I'm confident that my lack of confidence will eventually improve, lol.

 

[Georgemichaelfan]

I have ONE suggestion to you. Read 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...And It's All Small Stuff' by Richard Carlson.

http://books.google.com/books?id=uR...=print&ct=result&cd=1&cad=author-navigational

Books are such VALUABLE tools that I've JUST learned to trully appreciate and take full advantage of. Books like this one are SO helpful, they will change your entire outlook on life- because everything inside of it is GENUINE TRUTH, not just one person's opinion. It's ALL truth, it's all just the natural order of life and people.

Personally, it helped me clear out some of the cobwebs that I'd developed over the past 8 years of my life, and I just made my life FAR more difficult that it needed to be. I'm such a more relaxed, confident, and altogether happier and more enlightened person that I was just 1 year ago. There was DRASTIC and substantial change that even my sister could recognize, and she lives in another state!

I encourage anyone suffering from problems like these in their lives to check out this book. This book helps build self discipline (which helps out in maintaining a nice work-out regiment- and because of this discipline, it's easier for me to stick to a healthier diet), it helps boost my independance (which in follow, helped boost my self esteem), and it helped me shape out a more driven and less indulgant version of myself. It helped me cut out some of the deficiencies that people face in day-to-day life, and helped keep a fresh, more simplistic perspective on life. It's a life changing book, and I have NEVER regretted reading it.

It's made up of over a hundred chapters, which are all only around 2 pages long each- so it's easy reading. You can pick it up, read a chapter in 5 minutes, and you're done. I'm soothed and comforted every time I pick the book up, it's phenomenal. I can GARAUNTEE you that if you read this book, you will be a better person for it. That's a promise.

 

[steptacular85]

I'm a bit chubby and dont have the best of penis size

i started to see this guy recently and it seems like he doesnt mind either of the things above. Which is great, cause i dont feel insecure around him at all.

I'm just saying that if you're losing the weight and you're happy, GREAT! Do it because you want to, never let someone pressure you because they're losing something great in the end.

I personally know i'm a good guy and if the guy i date cant oversee the things above, they definitely dont deserve me. Worry about self happiness before trying to please someone else

 

[jockboy01]

I think they are all related in some way. Ultimately, I think confidence comes from realizing you are a good person... regardless of looks or what other people say. And to do that, you have to believe it deep down. And to believe it, you have to become the person you want to be. You're young, you have time, start now.

And the above book is REALLY good!!!