Hey guys,
I'm a 32 year old man who had just come out of the closet to everyone in my life about a year ago. I recently just had my first relationship, which had been going on for about 3 months. I never thought I'd ever want to be in a relationship, but experiencing my first one made me think otherwise. I now know that sharing your life with someone is a very rewarding experience.
So I met this man at a local bar with one of my female friends at a drag show. I found him a little creepy at first, but I've never been hit on before, and my female friend had told me that what he was doing wasn't strange at all. Well, after speaking to him for the evening, I realized that he was a really cool guy, and we found each other attractive. After a few days of texting, we decided to get together and go on a few dates. We clicked really well. The only problem was that he lives 67 miles away from where I live. We liked each other so much that we decided that the distance wouldn't make a difference. We became very close, and spoke almost constantly for the first month and a half.
Well, after the first month and a half, the distance had started to become an issue for the both of us. We had cancelled on each other a few times, but none of these cancellations worried me because we still spoke on a daily basis. He still called me "cutie." Another month and a couple weeks had passed by, things were back to normal. We tried to meet up at least once or twice a week, and always had fun. Last week he had an opportunity to house sit for a couple that were going out of town, and they live much closer to me than he does, so he invited me to spend a few nights with him starting last Saturday, and of course, I obliged. We had decided to meet for drinks and dancing at 8 at a bar close to the house he was staying for the week.
Saturday rolls around, and I'm excited as all get out. Got myself all gussied up, bought some new cologne, and I was looking good. I got off work early that evening, so I decided to head over to the bar about an hour early. On my way, I passed "his" bar that he spends most of his time at, and noticed only one car in the parking lot. It looked just like his car, but he had told me that he was going to be at a wedding until later in the evening, so I thought nothing of it. I went to the other bar where we were supposed to meet. 8pm rolls around, and he's not there. 8:15, no calls no texts. 8:30, no calls, no texts. He knew full well that I had been waiting patiently for him alone for an hour and a half. I was angry, and had a couple beers in me, so I decided to confront him at the other bar if he was really there. I drove into the parking lot, and the car that looked like his was still in the same parking spot. I walked in, and there he was, sitting at the bar with a couple of his friends having a grand old time. I poked him on the shoulder and asked him why he would do such a thing to me, he told me he was about to leave, and I didn't believe him, so I walked out. He was rolling his eyes the whole time, and trying to act cool in front of his friends. Surprisingly, the whole conversation was very civil. I used no obscene language, and didn't call him any names. Later in the evening, I tried to speak to him, but he refused to listen, and just called me a "stalker" for "tracking him down", and accused me of judging him.
Now I realize that I should've just walked out of the bar I was waiting at with my head held high, but I made a mistake by confronting him. I've never been in a relationship before, and I'm very inexperienced in matters of the heart. I really cared for him. I thought I loved him. I sent him an email apologizing for confronting him in front of his friends, and I fully expected an email back from him apologizing for lying to me, and standing me up. I never received the email back.
This last week has been hell for me. I'm torn apart by him not speaking to me, and also by him calling me a stalker. Were my actions stalker-like? Did I make a big enough fool of myself that i shouldn't ever show my face in that bar again? Why would he invite me to stay with him for a week if he really didn't care about me, and if he cared about me, why would he leave me sitting in a bar alone for that length of time while he was with his buds at a bar 2 miles down the street? Should I call him and try to patch things up? I'm not sure what I should do. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Confused and Bewildered.
I'm a 32 year old man who had just come out of the closet to everyone in my life about a year ago. I recently just had my first relationship, which had been going on for about 3 months. I never thought I'd ever want to be in a relationship, but experiencing my first one made me think otherwise. I now know that sharing your life with someone is a very rewarding experience.
So I met this man at a local bar with one of my female friends at a drag show. I found him a little creepy at first, but I've never been hit on before, and my female friend had told me that what he was doing wasn't strange at all. Well, after speaking to him for the evening, I realized that he was a really cool guy, and we found each other attractive. After a few days of texting, we decided to get together and go on a few dates. We clicked really well. The only problem was that he lives 67 miles away from where I live. We liked each other so much that we decided that the distance wouldn't make a difference. We became very close, and spoke almost constantly for the first month and a half.
Well, after the first month and a half, the distance had started to become an issue for the both of us. We had cancelled on each other a few times, but none of these cancellations worried me because we still spoke on a daily basis. He still called me "cutie." Another month and a couple weeks had passed by, things were back to normal. We tried to meet up at least once or twice a week, and always had fun. Last week he had an opportunity to house sit for a couple that were going out of town, and they live much closer to me than he does, so he invited me to spend a few nights with him starting last Saturday, and of course, I obliged. We had decided to meet for drinks and dancing at 8 at a bar close to the house he was staying for the week.
Saturday rolls around, and I'm excited as all get out. Got myself all gussied up, bought some new cologne, and I was looking good. I got off work early that evening, so I decided to head over to the bar about an hour early. On my way, I passed "his" bar that he spends most of his time at, and noticed only one car in the parking lot. It looked just like his car, but he had told me that he was going to be at a wedding until later in the evening, so I thought nothing of it. I went to the other bar where we were supposed to meet. 8pm rolls around, and he's not there. 8:15, no calls no texts. 8:30, no calls, no texts. He knew full well that I had been waiting patiently for him alone for an hour and a half. I was angry, and had a couple beers in me, so I decided to confront him at the other bar if he was really there. I drove into the parking lot, and the car that looked like his was still in the same parking spot. I walked in, and there he was, sitting at the bar with a couple of his friends having a grand old time. I poked him on the shoulder and asked him why he would do such a thing to me, he told me he was about to leave, and I didn't believe him, so I walked out. He was rolling his eyes the whole time, and trying to act cool in front of his friends. Surprisingly, the whole conversation was very civil. I used no obscene language, and didn't call him any names. Later in the evening, I tried to speak to him, but he refused to listen, and just called me a "stalker" for "tracking him down", and accused me of judging him.
Now I realize that I should've just walked out of the bar I was waiting at with my head held high, but I made a mistake by confronting him. I've never been in a relationship before, and I'm very inexperienced in matters of the heart. I really cared for him. I thought I loved him. I sent him an email apologizing for confronting him in front of his friends, and I fully expected an email back from him apologizing for lying to me, and standing me up. I never received the email back.
This last week has been hell for me. I'm torn apart by him not speaking to me, and also by him calling me a stalker. Were my actions stalker-like? Did I make a big enough fool of myself that i shouldn't ever show my face in that bar again? Why would he invite me to stay with him for a week if he really didn't care about me, and if he cared about me, why would he leave me sitting in a bar alone for that length of time while he was with his buds at a bar 2 miles down the street? Should I call him and try to patch things up? I'm not sure what I should do. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Confused and Bewildered.
