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Confused: Am I bi-curious?

S

soundhound

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I just turned 19 a few months ago, and I've never had any sexual experiences yet (sad lmao). However when I started to watch porn when I hit puberty (around 12 or 13) I started to care whether the guy in the porn is hot or not. So when I was around 13, out of super random curiosity I started to watch solo videos (guys and girls), but for some reason I liked the idea of watching another guy going at it by himself while I go at it by myself at the same time. Now if you're wondering, yes I have watched gay porn. And honestly, I don't mind watching it. There's just something about gay porn, maybe the masculinity. I honestly feel a bit of an attraction when I see buff guys, but more of physical rather than sexual attraction. I work out a lot too, so maybe it's my desire to be jacked and buff just like a lot of other gay porn stars, since in straight porn guys aren't usually that attractive. Now, I mostly watch solo videos of guys jerking it if I were to watch "gay" porn. I've always thought of myself as straight, and I've never entertained the idea of being in a relationship with a guy. I also usually fantasize about hooking up with girls. But in public if I see a good-looking guy, I would have to force myself to not stare too long to avoid being caught.

I think the confusion comes from not having had a chance to experiment yet with girls nor guys, and having gone to all-boys schools my entire life. I sometimes say to myself that maybe I'm bi-curious, but when I read stories about people finding out they are actually bisexual, I just can't relate.
 
One of the reasons why activists have pushed for presentation of LGBT stories on television is that there are a lot of people out there who are trying to figure things out and seeing someone like them helps say "They are like me".

While the stories of other peoples' experience might be very similar, it doesn't negate the fact that everyone is an individual and everyone has to figure out where they are on the scale between gay and straight.

soundhound said:
I think the confusion comes from not having had a chance to experiment yet with girls nor guys, and having gone to all-boys schools my entire life. I sometimes say to myself that maybe I'm bi-curious, but when I read stories about people finding out they are actually bisexual, I just can't relate.
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To state the obvious: you're sexually attracted to men. That does not mean that you are gay or straight or anything in between. Until you get out into the world and explore your own sexuality, you won't have an idea of where you are in terms of your orientation or preferences.

The term "bi-curious" reminds me of someone standing on a diving board trying to get up the nerve to jump in the water. At age 19, it is time to get off the diving board and figure this all out.
 
KaraBulut said:
To state the obvious: you're sexually attracted to men.
Until you get out into the world and explore your own sexuality, you won't have an idea of where you are in terms of your orientation or preferences.
At age 19, it is time to get off the diving board and figure this all out.
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Thank you for this. I grew up in a conservative home, so I never had the chance to really explore during my teen years. When I left for college almost two years ago I was hoping to actually "experiment" but because of the pandemic cutting off my Freshmen year nothing ever happened with guys nor girls, and I did find myself finding a few guys physically attractive at college. But between having a massive crush on a girl in one of my classes (my first genuine crush btw, a person who I wanted to get to know) to catching myself staring at this guy while working out in the gym over and over, nothing really happened for me to really know where I stand in the spectrum.
 
How in the world did you not experiment having attended all male schools?
My advice: Scratch that itch
 
soundhound said:
Thank you for this. I grew up in a conservative home, so I never had the chance to really explore during my teen years. When I left for college almost two years ago I was hoping to actually "experiment" but because of the pandemic cutting off my freshman year nothing ever happened with guys nor girls, and I did find myself finding a few guys physically attractive at college. But between having a massive crush on a girl in one of my classes (my first genuine crush btw, a person who I wanted to get to know) to catching myself staring at this guy while working out in the gym over and over, nothing really happened for me to really know where I stand in the spectrum.
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Well, get vaccinated and start meeting people. Whatever happens, go into it with an open mind. Find someone that you're comfortable with and you like for more than just their looks. Thereafter, what will be, will be.
 
When you said you were in all male school did you ever look at guys or just felt that someone might notice and that's common if someone catches you. Sounds like when a guy tries to figure out what he is into sexual with the same sex
 
seven2go said:
How in the world did you not experiment having attended all male schools?
My advice: Scratch that itch
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I went to Catholic all-male schools growing up. Also, there was this "macho" culture among everyone, so everyone assumes everyone is straight unless it was obvious you were not. I'm not really a tough guy myself, so I was scared to be "branded" as one of the gay ones because they were sadly the ones being bullied. Also, if people find out you aren't straight words goes around. So yeah you can't really experiment with guys in my school unless you want everyone to know about it.
 
^ Thanks for the better explanation.......understood....... (*8*)
 
I grew up a Southern Baptist out in BFE. If anyone I grew up with had known back then (things have changed thank god,) hate crime - and that would have been my friends.

I spent a bunch of my youth purging my head of the poison the haters put in there. Being sexually attracted to men is perfectly natural. it's always been a part of the human condition. It's not a bad thing if you just like guys, it's not a bad thing if you are flexible - the only way to know is experience, and there is nothing wrong with that either.

Be safe, have fun, and figure it out.
 
Dude, no matter how what you end up caving in to a sexual fantasy, and the longer you wait, the worse it gets in your head.

I'm generally more attracted to women and oly date them but porn also made me realize that I liked looking at cocks and cum(not to the rest of the male body honestly). So I did not wait for too long and experimented. You should do the same and not worry about labels. You will still be able to enjoy women and go on with life.
 
straightaddickt said:
porn also made me realize that I liked looking at cocks and cum
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Thanks man. This is exactly how I feel and this made me question whether I am bisexual, gay, or anything in between. I am generally more attracted to women as well, but since I haven't experimented with guys I have absolutely no idea whether this small attraction I have to guys is just when I see guys in porn.
 
TX-Beau said:
It's not a bad thing if you just like guys, it's not a bad thing if you are flexible - the only way to know is experience, and there is nothing wrong with that either.
Be safe, have fun, and figure it out.
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Thanks. Hopefully when we get back to campus I may have to do some experimenting myself just to settle this once and for all.
 
TX-Beau said:
I grew up a Southern Baptist out in BFE. If anyone I grew up with had known back then (things have changed thank god,) hate crime - and that would have been my friends.

I spent a bunch of my youth purging my head of the poison the haters put in there. Being sexually attracted to men is perfectly natural. it's always been a part of the human condition. It's not a bad thing if you just like guys, it's not a bad thing if you are flexible - the only way to know is experience, and there is nothing wrong with that either.

Be safe, have fun, and figure it out.
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Wow a kindred spirit sort of. I am a Southern Baptist Minister's kid and grew up in a small BFE town east of El Paso. I know exactly where you're coming from.
 
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