Confused and Dont know what to do!

[geekybum23]

Ok Guys I really need some advice.

I have been going out with this guy (he's white, Im asian) for about 2 months now. Since we got set up by our friends, I decided to give this guy a try. Prior to being set up, I have noticed him before but I know to myself that he is not my type and that I would never see myself going out with this guy. Since I was told by my friends that I have high standards and I am too picky with guys, and told me the reason why Im single for the longest time, I have decided to give this guy a try! Even though I'm not that into him.

So we exchange numbers and I started texting and talking to him. In the beginning, I keep getting this feeling that we dont connect and we really have nothing in common, and I wanted to stop it and if possible just stay friends, as i dont see the point of continuing on, and I was sort of losing interest. This feeling really confused me because, In a way I get really excited when I get text messages from him and at the same time I feel like it wasnt the right time (since i was in school!). And There are things that I would do for him, like see him after work, and walk him to the bus station. But then I get this feeling again, that am I just forcing myself in doing this, or do i really like this guy! I was so ready to end it with him, but for some strange reason I have decided to give it a few more weeks.

So a few weeks after we initially met, I went to his place and stuff happened to us! It was really passionate and It was good. Then two weeks later again, I came over again and we did stuff like last time!

But then as days go by, we talk less and less, and It seems like I always have to initiate texting him, and we only text most of the time, we hardly even talk on the the phone. But, he always tells me that he really likes me! Now it feels like I have given enough time to see if i really like this guy, and one side tlls me I do but the other side tells me not to continue with this relationship. Sometimes, I feel like i should give it a few more weeks, sometimes I really miss him, sometimes I just want to end it, we dont really connect, he also lives too far away from me, he lives in another city, and I'm just so confuse!!!

any advice! I hope my drama is comprehensible! Forgive my poor grammar! Which is another reason why I feel like I cant really communicate with this guy sometime. We have to many misunderstanding and Yet there are days that I miss him so much! am too desperate to have a relationship. This guy would have been my longest relationship. Ive only had one nights stands before. Or am not giving enough time for this relationship to work?

 

[racer2438]

Only way you will know is if you ask. I have said it many times if one does not communicate in any relationship. You can never have a clear answer to any questions..

 

[LaughingMan]

It sounds really complicated to built a relationship with somebody who lives far away, but I've seen it done. It seems like you're over analyzing it. Don't let the feelings of "newness" nor your doubt distract you. It is what it is, and if it ends, let it be, knowing you enjoyed it when it lasted. Hope that helps.

 

[miguelfukt]

Try not having sex the first thing!

 

[geekybum23]

ThanK you guys for the advice! I'm definitely new to this relationship thing, I guess I'll just have to ride it along and see where this lead us into.

 

[G-Lexington]

Other guys have hit it, but since I haven't pulled this card from the Decks of Lex in awhile...

Don't ask us.
Ask him.

There's one guy who (possibly) holds the answers you seek, and he's probably not here. So talk to your guy. Tell him your concerns. And know that it's possible that HE doesn't exactly know what he wants either. It's often thought that the other guy has some sort of plan for you from the moment he meets you, and that plan won't ever change. No. He might see you as a friend at first, then a colleague, then a bed partner, then a friend-with-benefits, or "that annoying guy who won't leave me alone". It can change over time, even over the course of a day. So just ask, and let him know what YOU'd like. If you want to hang out with him AND have sex with him, make that clear. If he'd rather just be friends, and you're cool with that, let him know.

Oh, and...

>>>I hope my drama is comprehensible!

I totally want this on a T-shirt.

Lex

 

[geekybum23]

Other guys have hit it, but since I haven't pulled this card from the Decks of Lex in awhile...

Don't ask us.
Ask him.

There's one guy who (possibly) holds the answers you seek, and he's probably not here. So talk to your guy. Tell him your concerns. And know that it's possible that HE doesn't exactly know what he wants either. It's often thought that the other guy has some sort of plan for you from the moment he meets you, and that plan won't ever change. No. He might see you as a friend at first, then a colleague, then a bed partner, then a friend-with-benefits, or "that annoying guy who won't leave me alone". It can change over time, even over the course of a day. So just ask, and let him know what YOU'd like. If you want to hang out with him AND have sex with him, make that clear. If he'd rather just be friends, and you're cool with that, let him know.

Oh, and...

>>>I hope my drama is comprehensible!

I totally want this on a T-shirt.

Lex

Thanks Mr. Lex! But when u said, to tell him what I would like, but in all honestly I dont really know what I want! Do i want him to have a serious relationship with him, that is, make it official that were boyfriends? I dont know, maybe. Do I want to end it with him, and just move on, because I feel we dont connect, were too different people? Maybe, I dont know! What would be your advice on this? Thanks again!

 

[KaraBulut]

Thanks Mr. Lex! But when u said, to tell him what I would like, but in all honestly I dont really know what I want!

It's perfectly all right to tell him that.


There are times when dating that two people should sit down and have a "state of the relationship" talk.

Instead, the tendency is to act like it's poker and everyone sits around with a poker face waiting to see what the other person's card are.

If you're not sure where it's all going, then (and since Lex didn't quote himself correctly)...

Ask him.

Not us.

Him.

If you want him to call or text more, tell him you like it when he does. Don't nag. Don't say, "You don't call or text me as much as you used to". Just say, "I always like it when I see you have texted- it cheers me up and makes me smile".