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Confused, Desperate..

marcelo

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hi everybody.. actually this is like the first topic ive ever wrote.. so im 30, never ever been with a guy ..i have dated girls before; done things with them but after that i feel guilty since i do it as an obligation..and i dont really enjoy it..never done anything with any guys..but i think im gay.. since i watch gay porn and i do feel really atracted to them... and im still not out of the closet.. since i live in a very narrow minded society.. and im a lawyer...so im not ready for that.. but its killing me since i do want to have someone that makes me happy.. just wanted to get all of this out of my chest.. thanks for reading..
 
I wouldn't feel too badly about having sex with women as long as you aren't trying to play house as well. That's where it would really get messy. But really, just quit dating them if that's not what you want to do.

And please remember, the only expectations any of us have are the ones we allow ourselves to have. You work out your issues on your own schedule, ok?
 
Yeah...let us know what country or state you're living in. That would give us some context of your society.
 
If possible, I suggest you travel to another city and hire escorts. You should be able to keep it secret from your local people.
 
hi everybody.. actually this is like the first topic ive ever wrote.. so im 30, never ever been with a guy ..i have dated girls before; done things with them but after that i feel guilty since i do it as an obligation..and i dont really enjoy it..never done anything with any guys..but i think im gay.. since i watch gay porn and i do feel really atracted to them... and im still not out of the closet.. since i live in a very narrow minded society.. and im a lawyer...so im not ready for that.. but its killing me since i do want to have someone that makes me happy.. just wanted to get all of this out of my chest.. thanks for reading..

You don't have to be out of the closet to have sex with guys or to go to gay bars. Just be true to yourself, live your life, you don't have to let your family or friends know what you do in bed or with who.
 
thanks for ur responses.. well i live in a small country.. where everybody knows everybody.. in south america.. and since i have a job in a law firm..
 
Life's too short not to be happy. Do what makes you happy.
 
Well you're 30 now and you're @ that age where you want to settle down...It happens to most Men in their 30's...

Since you dont enjoy intercourse with women I guess it's safe to assume you've never been in love with a woman...

When I was a younger-adult in my early 20's I had an Epiphany...I noticed my Family, Friends and Co-workers had ONE thing in common...They NEVER needed my advice on their Love-life and the people they chose to date, shack-up with or even marry......My own mother eloped with her current husband and didnt think twice about it...

Now that you're 30 it's time start a new Chapter in your Life and retire the words "Confused and Desperate"....You HAVE to do what makes YOU happy...
 
Speaking objectively, you have three options.

1. Play by the rules of your home country. I don't know if there's an "underground scene" in your city, but it wouldn't surprise me to find there is one. (Being in a small or repressive country doesn't reduce the percentage of gays so much as push them to the fringes.). If there is, you might look into possibly joining it.

2. Try to change the rules. This takes a lot of fortitude and willingness to put yourself out there, and depending on the severity of the society, it might not be worth attempting.

3. Try to move somewhere where the rules are more lenient. You don't have to immediately pack up and move. It's possible that even larger cities in your home country are somewhat more accepting. Or you might take a short vacation to another country to see if you feel you might want to move there.

Good luck. And feel free to lean on us as much as you feel you need to.

Lex
 
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