Confused positive thoughts needed

[str8nready]

I know you have heard this story a million times.by the way you cannot tell i am bisexual. i mean i have my slip ups here and there but i think people dont know abt me. i will make it short and simple. I need advice. i am a downlow bisexual. when i first met this guy, he asked if i was GAy. i lied and said NO. I was shocked that he would ask that. why would a str8 guy ask thqt? even a coworker question me at a point when out of nowehre he asked about my girlfriend. my coworker said does he want to get with you? fuck iam i delusional? i am so slow sometimes. its so hard being downlow

ever since, this assumed straight guy has been very very playful talking stuff, he is always conversating with me at my job, he was goes out of his to come to my area then he covers up by visiting other people in the area so it doesnt look like hes only talking to me. he is known to be very playful with everyone and also known to be a ladies man

at first he was aggressive and he would glance at my dick or ass when he thought i wasnt looking. i got confused. He would even go as much pester m e to buy him stuff and i would. he accepts gifts from me and i sort fell in love with him but i was too shy to initiate anything.

this back and forth continued for amost 2 years now and i thought he would have backed off but it seems as if he still want me to buy him stuff. i got more courage to start trying to be playful back by giving ints as in yea we can do stuff together without being so direct but then he backs off and says thats HOMO SHITTT. he recently said to me taht we can be homeboys????? what the fuck does that mean.. lol like stopp speaking in codes its aggraavating?


this leaves me confused because its so obvious to some people that might suspect thats there something between us but i cannot tell he is BISEXUAl. he used a term that he was VERSATILE. but nowadays it seems straight guys are now using the term versatile for everyday language meaning flexibiltiylity.

i jhave noticed he has a fliratious personality but i cannot tell if he really wants me or just playing me.


i am slightly older than him but he is quite intelligent for his age.

as anyone had any experiences close to this and what did you do.

its really agitating me now because you want someobody that a lot of people want but you cannot have him and i fucked myself up by falling in love with an assumed straight guy..he slowed down a bit now i dunno if he is looosing interest but its too late because i LOVE HIM

How can i get myself out this situation without being to RUDE or telling him to stay away.

i CANNOT BELIEVE I LET MYSEL GET INTO THIS SITUATION

PLUS DID I FUCK UP AN OPPRTUNITYIN SLEEPING WITH HIM

please help

no rudeness allowed and sorry but the long text

 

[bw92116]

I don't like him for you. He's playing cruel, horrible games with you. I wouldn't even talk to him any more. Seriously. Why do you love him? Ick. Get a real boyfriend who will treat you with love and respect! That means a guy who has accepted himself as gay or bi. And forget about this piece of shit that is working you over mentally and emotionally for his own jollies. I don't think he will ever allow you to have sex with him, because it's more fun for him to just torture you like this. But even if it did happen I bet it would be disappointing to you for any number of reasons - he could be a dud in bed, or he could smell bad, or he could be very selfish, or whatever. It would be a bad experience and it would only cause more pain and torment for you. Don't even talk to him any more, and if he tries to talk to you just don't reply, or reply only with a curt, polite, businesslike response and nothing friendly. This is how you should act, no matter what you may still feel. My reply to this thread is blunt but not rude.

 

[str8nready]

I don't like him for you. He's playing cruel, horrible games with you. I wouldn't even talk to him any more. Seriously. Why do you love him? Ick. Get a real boyfriend who will treat you with love and respect! That means a guy who has accepted himself as gay or bi. And forget about this piece of shit that is working you over mentally and emotionally for his own jollies. I don't think he will ever allow you to have sex with him, because it's more fun for him to just torture you like this. But even if it did happen I bet it would be disappointing to you for any number of reasons - he could be a dud in bed, or he could smell bad, or he could be very selfish, or whatever. It would be a bad experience and it would only cause more pain and torment for you. Don't even talk to him any more, and if he tries to talk to you just don't reply, or reply only with a curt, polite, businesslike response and nothing friendly. This is how you should act, no matter what you may still feel. My reply to this thread is blunt but not rude.

no its not rude, you are right
thanks for being so honest. i thought i was crazy but maybe i have been tortured and played for so long.

I feel so used sometimes i cry because i feel he knows whats he is doing.

did i confuse him when i lied that i had a girlfriend at the moment because i was hiding i am bbisexual. i cant just expose that about myself like that. Its so hard to cut away now. i want to but it so uncomfortable for me and theres other things i could tell you about but not out in the open. maybe pm you

 

[str8nready]

Is he just an attention seeker?

By the way he looks very handsome. most of the girls really like him a lot lol and guys. its like he can do no wrong

 

[JNewYork]

I had a similar situation years ago. For some people flirting is the extent of expressing their sexuality. Just cause a dude is looking at your cock doesn't mean for sure that he will follow through.

Don't waste any more time on this man.

 

[bw92116]

I think you are only looking at his good qualities, which from what I can tell are only two: that he's good-looking and that he pays some attention to you. You need to also admit that he has bad qualities, for one, namely, that he has been using you for 2 years just to boost his ego. He's a complete jerk and you won't let yourself admit that fact. Next time he flirts with you, just tell him you are gay, that he is ugly, that you are not interested in him, and to stop all that crap. That should put an end to this ridiculous game. Go out now and find someone else to get interested in.

 

[62624rd]

dude sounds like a total player/pretty boy.he is using his looks and charms to get by. He is using you ; you may be giving off signals and may not be aware that you are.Does he buy/treat you to stuff? I feel that if you tell him that you are gay, it going to blow up in your face.He could tell the whole office that you are gay or that you were buying him gifts/ stuff in hopes of getting him in bed. Homeboys are like best friends . Keep your guard up.

 

[Nomenclature]

"He would even go as much pester m e to buy him stuff and i would. he accepts gifts from me"

So, he barely even knows you and yet he's using you. That's not very nice.

 

[MarkDW]

Why do you need "confused positive thoughts"? How about just positive thoughts? =)

 

[bw92116]

My questions for you, str8nready, are what do you get out of this that is good for you? And what do you put into this? Then finally, is what you get out of this that is truly beneficial to you, worth what you put into it? Analyze it in these terms.

 

[62624rd]

read this on another site . had one other coworker, talk dark handsome, he'd tell me of his escapades and i'd see him get a 7+ boner in his pants...i got to where i'd just stare at it and let him see me staring. Same coworker used to just walk up to my desk semi hard. i always got mixed signals from him. -___One day i asked him if he'd ever let a guy blow him. Next thing i know, i'm in the Human Resources office. Some friend, he turned me in..saying he just wanted me to "get help" before i ruined my life in some alternative lifestyle. moral of the story, be careful with friends, look, but dont touch and dont mention you want any action...unless they make the first move.

 

[str8nready]

i will reply as soon as i get a chance...thanks to everyone that replied to this topic

thanks

i feel like crying right now

 

[62624rd]

Do'nt cry. we all have str guy crushes. Mine was a 5'11" jock . Be strong and you will pervail. .The next time you buy/give him a gift just say "Do unto others as they do unto you " if not i will have to cut you off.

 

[bw92116]

If it helps you to cry, then cry. It's part of the letting go process. You're in love with this guy. We all fall in love, it's hard to control. But you fell in love with the wrong guy - a guy who uses you. It's in your best interest to get yourself out of this emotionally - to let go of him and the fantasy you have of being with him. Each time you cry about it, you move forward a little. You move on a little. The crying is a stage of grief - grief for what you wanted to have with him but never had and never will have. It's unpleasant but necessary to go through that grief stage. So it's healthy for you to cry it out a few times. Then you will feel better, and you can start in a new direction. You will be happy again. You were happy before you ever met him, and you will be happy again. Your emotional health is much more important than "getting him." So do whatever it takes to move on from this, including some crying. After that, replace your thoughts of him with thoughts of things that make you happy. Anything, not even related to guys, just anything in your life that makes you feel happy. I bet there are a lot of things. See this thread for what some other people think makes them happy: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=371373

 

[GatorJTR]

hey man, hang in there. im going through similar situation. we talk in code too and he is real hot and cold. as soon as i start talking myself into shutting down these feelings, he shows up with something that makes me come back for more.
(i have a thread on here about it, you can tell how crazy its driving me, lol)

good luck, shits confusing as all hell!

 

[bw92116]

It's a mistake to place your own happiness in someone else's hands. I've done it, and it's always a mistake.

 

[GatorJTR]

It's a mistake to place your own happiness in someone else's hands. I've done it, and it's always a mistake.

so weird, ive come to this realization in my own situation this evening as well.

i am ready to change my whole life for this one person, who turns it on and off whenever they feel inclined. fuck that. im putting some major space between us for now/awhile. if he wants to meet me in the middle, well great. if not, well better to know now.

he is fighting against himself at this point and throwing myself into that crossfire is a bad idea. its gotta be a two way street. always or you lose.

 

[str8nready]

I don't like him for you. He's playing cruel, horrible games with you. I wouldn't even talk to him any more. Seriously. Why do you love him? Ick. Get a real boyfriend who will treat you with love and respect! That means a guy who has accepted himself as gay or bi. And forget about this piece of shit that is working you over mentally and emotionally for his own jollies. I don't think he will ever allow you to have sex with him, because it's more fun for him to just torture you like this. But even if it did happen I bet it would be disappointing to you for any number of reasons - he could be a dud in bed, or he could smell bad, or he could be very selfish, or whatever. It would be a bad experience and it would only cause more pain and torment for you. Don't even talk to him any more, and if he tries to talk to you just don't reply, or reply only with a curt, polite, businesslike response and nothing friendly. This is how you should act, no matter what you may still feel. My reply to this thread is blunt but not rude.

thanks

he came to my area again today but i made it short and walked away like i usually do. i have been trying to avoid for while but never works i just fall back into stupid trap of is he or isnt he.

 

[str8nready]

so weird, ive come to this realization in my own situation this evening as well.

i am ready to change my whole life for this one person, who turns it on and off whenever they feel inclined. fuck that. im putting some major space between us for now/awhile. if he wants to meet me in the middle, well great. if not, well better to know now.

he is fighting against himself at this point and throwing myself into that crossfire is a bad idea. its gotta be a two way street. always or you lose.

But at least maybe you got somewhere.

i just need to know how to do this without hurting myself or him even though he doesnt deserved it

 

[str8nready]

It's a mistake to place your own happiness in someone else's hands. I've done it, and it's always a mistake.

soometimes when things happen suddenly unexpectedly non prepared . what do you do?