Confused positive thoughts needed

[str8nready]

My questions for you, str8nready, are what do you get out of this that is good for you? And what do you put into this? Then finally, is what you get out of this that is truly beneficial to you, worth what you put into it? Analyze it in these terms.

i have analzed it BW thanks and i do get attention from people because i think my co workers suspect us that something may be going on but i also get stupid jealousy from other DOWNLOW guys trying to get with HIM especially and with me because i dont give them attention.


You guys will be surprised how many biseuxals gay downlow men are out there. if i am not crazy, i think there are so men willing to experiment in the right place at the right tim if they wiont be caught.


for some reason, i have been attracting these men, which i like but THey ARE A PAIN becaue they are so wishhy washy and they always back track.

sorry off topic.


yes i neeed strength because i dont want to make the work place an awkward place for me because of him.

 

[str8nready]

I had a similar situation years ago. For some people flirting is the extent of expressing their sexuality. Just cause a dude is looking at your cock doesn't mean for sure that he will follow through.

Don't waste any more time on this man.

i wish its that easy to let go.

 

[str8nready]

hey man, hang in there. im going through similar situation. we talk in code too and he is real hot and cold. as soon as i start talking myself into shutting down these feelings, he shows up with something that makes me come back for more.
(i have a thread on here about it, you can tell how crazy its driving me, lol)

good luck, shits confusing as all hell!

its freaking confusing and its so burdening

 

[str8nready]

"He would even go as much pester m e to buy him stuff and i would. he accepts gifts from me"

So, he barely even knows you and yet he's using you. That's not very nice.

i know he is a handsome jerk

 

[bw92116]

It's always dangerous to have anything like this going on in a workplace. If things go wrong with it, and someone gets their feelings hurt, then they are in a position to retaliate in some way, either by spreading rumors or doing something to sabotage your job or the security of your job. It's better to be businesslike, polite but distant from your coworkers. Yes, sometimes you can form friendships with coworkers and that's fine. But any kind of love or romantic or sexual relationship - forget it.

You would do well to just wash your hands of this whole thing. It's gone on way too long and I see you as getting absolutely nothing out of it, except maybe your own fantasies of him getting recharged every now and then. But is that all you want out of your love life? I would think that you would prefer to have something real with someone who will love you and be with you and return the same feelings you have for him.

There will come a day when you realize what a rat this guy is, how he's played you and used you and manipulated your feelings to get what he wants: gifts or just getting his ego stroked. It's easy for us to see what a dirty bastard he is. Right now it's hard for you to see that, because you are still swimming in a sea of emotions about it. But eventually that will subside, and the day will come when you say to yourself, "Egad, what was I ever thinking?" I hope that day comes soon.

But to get to that day, you have to get yourself mentally and emotionally out of this situation with this piece-of-shit dude that has been using you for 2 years. To get yourself out, you have to admit to yourself that it is hopeless. You'll never have the relationship with him that you really want to have. It's a sad, ugly, heartbreaking thing to admit that. It's the crashing down of a dream. But it's only temporary and then you will leave the wreckage of that dream behind you. It's painful to let go of him and the dream you have/had of him. And the pain can be intense for a brief period, but it's not long-lasting. It's a brief pain and then it goes away. And it's pain with a purpose: you get over him.

Don't cling to a ray of hope that things will change and he might go for you. Don't take anything he does as a "clue" that it might actually happen. You have to let go of that dream, and letting go of it is painful, I admit. But hanging on to that dream you have of him is also painful, and that's a pain that serves no purpose, and goes on indefinitely as long as you continue to hang on. You choose whether you want the brief, intense, short-term pain of letting go, or the long-term pain of hanging on. I'd recommend the letting go. It's important to minimize your contact with him as much as possible.

 

[goldpuma]

everyone one here is correct,
it's best to stay away from him until you have a better handle on the situation.
and can I ask why you are on the 'down low'? would you not be more likely to find a guy if you were open and honest.
I'm assuming, like most men who hide their nature, it is to create an easier life for themselves where homosexuality isn't as accepted as it should be, but it doesnt sound as if this is making your life easier at all so why not come out of that closet?