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Confused

I agree that you need to talk to the guy at work and explain what happened. "I'm in a very difficult situation with my girlfriend and it's just not a good time for me to get involved with another guy. I hope you'll understand. Oh, and by the way, please don't tell anybody else about what happened."

As for your girlfriend, I don't necessarily agree you have to explain anything to her. Just leave the past alone and move on. If she brings it up again just say "I already told you what happened." Don't give her permission to nag you about little things.

But listen, judging from your last couple of posts, it sure sounds like you're jumpy right now -- your nerves are on edge. Have you given any more thought to counseling? With a different counselor of course. It could be that you'd benefit from some sort of medication to tide you over this difficult period. Worth looking into anyway.

I still think you're a great guy and trying your hardest to do the right thing. Keep it up, you won't be sorry.
 
Well i went to work today and was totally worried about what the guy was going to say or do. I get to work and my supervisor comes up and tells me that our department is going to be one short today because the guy called in sicked today. So i didnt have to face him. So my day at work went pretty peaceful. Then i get home and my girlfriend has a really nice dinner made for me. We are going to leave in about an hour and get away from this town for the weekend to clear our heads. So hopefully i can just chill for the next couple days. Jordan
 
a_j, sorry for you. I don't have any great advice. I haven't been in your particular situation but similar "what the hell am I supposed to do and everything is pulling in different directions" type predicaments. My only advice is to ride things out a bit. Try to abstain from new relationships for a bit as things aren't the most stable at the moment. I agree with letting the past go with the gf. She doesn't need to know about where you were. And I'm not convinced she would actually understand male impulses... we do b/c we're guys. Girls start to in their 30s from my experience.

As to the guy at work, the advice given is solid. Just say that you're sorry for bolting but you just have a lot on your plate at the moment and that it is nothing personal. And that you hope he understands.
 
Jordan, Welcome back from what I hope was a relaxing getaway. :) Just a few thoughts.

I think the energy of what's been going on in your life is going to change now, since things went badly last week. And I think in a good way for you. I hope so anyway.

I don't think the guy at work is going to have the same fun he had before by being flirty. He's probably going to be subdued. Which would be good for you and give you some space to sort things out. You don't need another crisis.

And on your part, maybe you can focus on the major issues at hand (gf, pregnancy, her parents causing trouble) and get a grip on the situation. And if same sex issues come up, then deal with them here or in counselling as they arrive. You could be anywhere on the Kinsey scale so don't be in a hurry to label yourself. Just remember we're here to be your sounding board and reassure you that you're not a bad guy. :) :) :)
 
Hey guys, i went to work today and the guy was there and at first he wouldnt even look at me. So finally on my break i walked over and told him we needed to talk. He was kinda cocky at first and said theres nothing to talk about. I said i think there is and explained my situation. Told him i dont even know what i want and that i paniced and ran. Told him that even tho i am totally craving to be intimate with someone because i havent had sex for like over a month now that i didnt think it was right to do anything because of my girlfriend being pregnant and the whole mess that is going on. And that right now i needed a friend to help me find who i am and just to listen till i get things straightened out. He said thats cool and that he understood. So i hope i did the right thing by apologizing because the rest of the afternoon he was still really standoff ' ish. I guess i cant do anymore damage than i have already done. This weekend was so boring i wanted to pull my hair out. My girlfriend and I went to a nice hotel and seems like all she did was sleep in the room and i pretty much just hung out by the pool and watched some tv. So nothing exciting here. Jordan
 
You're a really mature guy, Jordan. You handled that very well. ..|

I'm not sure why he is acting that way still, but fine, let him. At least he's not pushing your buttons anymore. And maybe you can have a little space finally to sort things out.

Sorry your weekend was boring. Pregnancy sounds like it's taking a toll on your gf. You must feel very alone recently with her sleeping so much. :( Well, that just gives you more time to come over here and hang out with us! :)

Welcome back!
 
Hi Jordan, I just read this thread, and all I can say is Dude. . .I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I feel for you! But it sounds like the "GUYS" here have been taking great care of you. I have no wonderful words of wisdom to add at this time. I guess just know that you have touched another heart with your postings here, and i am thinking of you, and you have another ear to lean on. Good Luck to you and your GF in the future!! another friend, Tony
 
I think the guy's reaction arises from dashed expectations -- he thought meeting with you meant he was going to"get some", I bet, and then he didn't, and he's uncomfortable settling in to being... just an ordinary friend with maybe a little more understanding of things.

You handled it like a pro, though! I don't know many people who could do things that straightforwardly and simply -- way to go!

Now... I've lost track; have you talked about this with the gf?
 
Well guys nothing new has really happened the last two days, LOL could be because i have been home sick so i havent gone anywhere. Maybe thats the answer for the next few months to just stay home...LOL But i wanted to sign on and just say hi and thanks again for all the support and help you have been giving me. :kiss:
 
You know our support isn't cheap. I expect you to convince its_just_me to buy me a hummer :grrr:

That or start my retirement fund.
 
Well i guess i spoke too soon, Things have been quiet around here because i have been home sick and cant go back to work till monday, but seems like trouble came knocking at the door today and it was in the form of my girlfriends parents. They were being jerks again, and i dont know what to do about it. I tried to just take it today and keep my mouth shut but they just kept on running me and her down. I have been leaving them alone so why cant they just do the same. I told them to just go home we didnt want to fight anymore and that i had been home sick. They wouldnt leave, so finally i just closed the door on them and went back to the bedroom and went back to sleep. But i could hear them knocking on the door for like 10 minutes after i closed it. Any advice on how to make them just leave me alone with out making things worse. They keep saying i am keeping my gf away from them but i am not she is free and can go visit them anytime she wants , but she doesnt want to. Maybe they are just trying to make me so frustrated that i just breakup with her. I dont know but its getting old and i am confused enough the way it is without them adding to the fire. Jordan
 
I don't know, Jordan. What is their problem? Didn't they kick her out of their house in the first place? Its their own fault she's not living with them. Are they kinda nutty to begin with?

It seems very sad to me that they can't make the best of the situation, especially since they have a grandchild on the way. You will all be in each other's lives for many years whether you two get married or not. Can't they see that? Can't they see that this is all going to mean nothing some day, that they will only feel shame for how they acted with their pregnant daughter?

It just seems to me that they are really screwed up and not very mature. Its like a reversal of roles here. You and your gf are the adults in this picture.

Nothing comes to mind other than calling the police again. If I think of something I'll let you know. Hang in there Buddy! Maybe some other Jubbers will have a good answer. (*8*)
 
I was trying to avoid getting a restraining order because that would just add fuel to the fire. I dont want my gf to lose her family no matter if they are nuts or not. Family is Family. I just want them to leave us alone or stop being such pains.
 
Hi guys, Not too much as changed since last time, her parents are still being jerks and i am still home sick from work. Sometimes it feels like my life is not going to get any better and i feel like a big whiner and loser. I am still having the dreams and feelings about guys even tho i havent acted on them ( tried but chickened out) and i am still living with my pregnant girlfriend, who whether people believe me or not i do love deeply. She has been trying lately to talk to me about my feelings but i there is something that is making me just clam up and not be able to talk. And then there is the subject of her totally insane parents who keep calling and knocking on the door and saying its my fault that she wont talk to them. I have seriously just been thinking about finding another job and moving far away from this place. That way they would leave us alone and we could sort thru the stuff that we need to. I know sounds like i am just rambling but i have to vent somewhere and it seems like this is the only place that i feel safe to do it. Jordan](*,)
 
And I'm glad you DO vent here Jordan!

It all sounds confusing for you. I wonder of the stress brought on by her parents is making you feel ill? It seems like they are just carrying this too far for too long.

Hang in there buddy! (*8*)
 
Hugs

so when you stress you clam down?

(*8*)

If you want to vent we are here.
 
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