Confused...

[redips]

Okay. This is going to sound very dumb, silly, and naive. But I can't get this off my mind. So here's my story:

A few days ago I travelled out of town. I felt somewhat lonely, being in a new city all by myself with nothing to do at night, so I "hooked up" with a guy. I don't do this very often (really), because for me, physical sex without any emotional connection doesn't satisfy me very much.

So that night, he came over. We chatted for a while, and then eventually did what we planned on doing. I'll spare you the details; let's just say that it was the best sex that I've ever had. But much more than that, I felt an irresistible chemistry with him, which I rarely find. I cannot make out with someone unless I feel a strong chemistry with that person; and with him, I found that, and more.

We made out passionately, more so than I have done even with my ex-boyfriends. We made out before, and after... We lied in bed and kissed afterward, very affectionately, exchanged sweet compliments; and I just felt like holding him and not letting him go.

Alas, he had to go that night since he had to work very early the next day. But I do believe that both of us wanted all that affection and passionate making out to continue. Before he left, he offered me his phone number, and I gave him mine. We promised to talk again.

Okay, sure, you guessed it. I'm feeling attached to him, and I don't know what to do. I know this is silly and stupid, because I barely know anything about him. But at the same time, I feel such a strong chemistry with him, and I feel like I have this strong gut feeling about who he is.

So, please, everyone, tell me.

Should I call him?

Should I send him an email casually asking him how he's doing?

Is it really that stupid and unreasonable to even imagine dating someone who you've casually hooked up with?

I'm afraid I know the right answer to all of these questions. But someone, please, tell me what you think, even if it is to say I'm stupid, ignorant, and foolish.

Alas, feelings of love and affection are irresistible and irrational. What can I do?

 

[tonyboy]

Okay. This is going to sound very dumb, silly, and naive. But I can't get this off my mind. So here's my story:

A few days ago I travelled out of town. I felt somewhat lonely, being in a new city all by myself with nothing to do at night, so I "hooked up" with a guy. I don't do this very often (really), because for me, physical sex without any emotional connection doesn't satisfy me very much.

So that night, he came over. We chatted for a while, and then eventually did what we planned on doing. I'll spare you the details; let's just say that it was the best sex that I've ever had. But much more than that, I felt an irresistible chemistry with him, which I rarely find. I cannot make out with someone unless I feel a strong chemistry with that person; and with him, I found that, and more.

We made out passionately, more so than I have done even with my ex-boyfriends. We made out before, and after... We lied in bed and kissed afterward, very affectionately, exchanged sweet compliments; and I just felt like holding him and not letting him go.

Alas, he had to go that night since he had to work very early the next day. But I do believe that both of us wanted all that affection and passionate making out to continue. Before he left, he offered me his phone number, and I gave him mine. We promised to talk again.

Okay, sure, you guessed it. I'm feeling attached to him, and I don't know what to do. I know this is silly and stupid, because I barely know anything about him. But at the same time, I feel such a strong chemistry with him, and I feel like I have this strong gut feeling about who he is.

So, please, everyone, tell me.

Should I call him?

Should I send him an email casually asking him how he's doing?

Is it really that stupid and unreasonable to even imagine dating someone who you've casually hooked up with?

I'm afraid I know the right answer to all of these questions. But someone, please, tell me what you think, even if it is to say I'm stupid, ignorant, and foolish.

Alas, feelings of love and affection are irresistible and irrational. What can I do?

Well that's a very interesting story.
A couple of questions? What is your age and the age of your friend? And how did you 'hook up'?
Those details will do much to help determine the answer to all your questions.

 

[redips]

We are both 27, and we "hooked up" online (yeah, I know, not the most respectable ways of knowing someone)...

 

[Homoerectus]

Why haven't you already called - are you afraid to be disappointed? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Call him. All he can do is blow you off and yell you not to call back. Then again, he may be as eager to talk as you. Quit playing the sophomoric game of should-I-or-shouldn't-I call him.

 

[martin6]

Call him! He wouldn't have given you his number if he wasn't at least somewhat into you. You'll never know til you call and find out! He might even be feeling the same way as you are right now.

 

[redips]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and comments.

Wow! To be totally honest, I had really expected everyone to shoot me down, tell me that my feelings are just ephemeral, and just give myself some time to forget about this encounter, and not dig myself a hole to fall into.

The reason why this all feels so weird is that I barely know anything about him. I didn't even know his name until shortly before he left. And then there's the problem that we're literally on opposite sides of the continent.

Of course, the weirdest thing of all is that we really did just "hook up" randomly. Again, I don't hook up often, but it appears that most people who hook up expect it to happen with no-strings-attached. So, I'm just afraid that this is too unusual or unexpected. I didn't want to scare him, offend him, or make him uncomfortable in any way. It seems somewhat unthinkable to me that any meaningful relationship can develop between two people who met by hooking up. (But then again, maybe this happens. I just don't know. Does it?)

 

[JayHew]

Call him and likely there will be more. Who cares if you don't know much about him, that will come along in time but if you don't call him, you will never know. So yeah, you and he are 27 or so, so as the fellow above said, stop the sophomoric games.

 

[redips]

Thanks everyone!

So I called him earlier today. He didn't answer. I left him a message, casually said that I'm just wondering how he's doing, and asked him to call me back.

He didn't call back (yet). And I won't be too surprised if he never does. Even though I still can't get my mind off of him, I do feel like I've at least done what I can, and I'll have no regrets about not fighting for something that might turn out to be real, no matter how hard or inconvenient it may seem.

Thanks again guys!

 

[spreadeagle]

Calling him was absolutely the right thing to do - it's a very human trait to want to repeat what feels good.

Perhaps your loneliness and the anonymity of being out of town and freed from your habitual routines added a piquancy and passionate commitment to your love-making on that special night.