Confused

[Robby08]

I am a bi guy in my 30's and engaged to a woman who I have lost passion for.. I mean I care about her but it is not what I want or am not sure.. there is this hot girl next door who wants me bad, I wonder what I should do and then there is my gay side and I miss being with guys, my fiance does not accept my gay side..

Anyway, thanks guys..

 

[racer2438]

My only advice is to never get married if you have doubts. Your gay side is part of you so your partner should be able to accept that. Otherwise, you will never be truly happy. I once thought I was bi too. But later in life, I realized that my relationships with girls were because I was trying to be straight. Even though I loved my ex-girlfriends and even had good sex with them, I never felt complete. Good luck.

Very well said, if there is ANY doubt, do not get married just to try to fit in the str8 stereotype. It has to be right for both.

I also started out str8, then bi, until I relized that I was not happy try to be someone I was not.

I have now been with my b/f for>>> 25yrs. And I could not be happier.

Dont make a mistake, if you are not sure. Alot of people get hurt and it can get messy, especially if you do get married and then have kids and get divorced.

Not good .

So think it through very well. Maybe you should postpone and have soem time apart and see what it is you want. If after some time you still want her and she wants you back and it feels better for both, then maybe it will be alright.

If she does not like your bi-side, then you will always be looking for it and do things behind her back and that will catch up to.

So take time and find your self first.

Good luck

 

[PhoenixRandall]

I think you know the answer but are afraid of the short term consequences....you should not marry this girl. It's gonna hurt short term, but it will save a lot of harsher times longer term.

You aren't ready to commit to her because you want to bone the neighbor as well as hot guys that cross your path. You have lost passion for this girl. Everything about this scenario says you should cut bait now and spend some time figuring out what you want.

 

[PhoenixRandall]

Marriage is NOT about what other people expect of you - ever!!

Marriage is about a lifetime commitment based on love, trust, respect and honesty.

It doesn't matter - at all - what your parents or anyone else expects or wants from you. YOU have to make the lifetime commitment because you not only want it, but have the full ability to build a life with that person. If you have any doubts about being able to fulfill that commitment, then DO NOT get married until those doubts are permenantly dealt with.

You know deep down in your own heart what is right and wrong. Be a man and do what is right - not what someone else wants / tells / expects you to do.

 

[Rex]

Yeah dude. I agree with everyone here.

You will hurt your fiance if you break the marriage off but it's better than being married for a few years and later getting a divorce. This isn't easy at all but think about the long term consequences and pain you may put your fiance through if you end up getting married just to break it off later. It's not worth it. You should talk to her and explain why you can't commit to a marriage.

 

[ELAINE]

mate, get real.
eventually your true self, whatever that is, will manifest.
have you truly explored the possiblity that your girl isn't turned on my man on man action?
men regularly introduce girl on girl action into hetro relationships. why not boy love too.
if i'm wrong, then find a girl who does like at least to watch and have the best of both world. Enjoy!

In agreement here

 

[RedRedKroovy]

I don't mean to be a total ass here but if you go ahead with the wedding plans and things fall apart it is going to be a nightmare financially.

I mean think a real long time about this dude.

 

[Robby08]

Thanks guys for the replies.. I am not sure what to do but see more and more my gay side and I care for her but miss being around the Gay community.. I now think of guys when I am with her or sometimes other girls.. I am not going to decide yet but pretty sure what will happen..