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norcalboy

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last saturday i had sex for the first time it was great until he asked if i wanted to try and top him i said yes and tried but as soon and i did my hard on went away and i wasn't able to get it back so we flipped back and i got hard again after we finished he said it was probably nerves that cause it to happen but we tried again yesterday and it happend again he says its not a problem but it is really bothering me and idk y it keeps happening has this ever happened to any of you?:cry:
 
With my first boyfriend I went through this weird period where, for like three weeks, I couldn't cum. Like, at all. I don't understand it, it was so weird. He thought I no longer found him sexy, and that was hard for me (tee-hee) because, damn, I'm still attracted to him and that was a long time ago.

So, in a way, yes it has happened to me. I still can't explain it, though. My boyfriend and I finally managed to "fix" it by fooling around in the shower together.
 
You could be a bottom. Either way, try not to stress. He sounds understanding.
 
This happened with me. I couldn't stay hard while topping, and occasionally was unable to cum.

A few months later...no problem.
 
You are lucky to have a patient understanding partner.
Try using his mouth a few times. You can lay back while he sucks you off or you can hold his head and fuck his mouth. After you fuck his mouth a few times you may be able to maintain a hardon to fuck his ass.
Also think of something that turns you on big-time. That helped me get and stay hard.
The first few times I fucked I had to jack my dick until I was just about to cum and shove it into the bottom's mouth or ass and pound him to cum in him. It was almost a year before I was able to put my dick in someone to fuck him without having to jack it first.
 
Is it seeing the hair on his ass or the thought of scat? Scat can turn off a few hard ons.
 
Try not to worry too much because you've only had sex for the first time less than a week ago. In the meantime try other things like maybe using a toy on ur boyfriend and seeing his reaction might turn u on and u might even get hard and end up doing the job yourself. Try relax before u try the next time other wise you'll be anxious about it and it'll become this huge thing.
 
You're new to this. The first time you rode a bike, you didn't expect to do the Tour de France. You fell over a few times, you picked yourself up and you got back on the bike and did it again until you got it right.

Sex and anal sex in particular is something that you have to try and try again until you get it right.

Here's some practical suggestions:
  1. If you're having trouble staying hard, then try a position where it is easier to stay hard. For a lot of guys, the push-up position or any kneeling/standing position causes them to loose their erection. If you're one of those guys, try laying on your back or sitting on the edge of the bed and have your partner sit on your dick. It's an easier position to stay hard in.
  2. If you lose your erection while topping, then change positions or do something else that gets you hard. Most guys would love a guy who flip-flops and gets hard from being fucked, so if you're topping and start going soft, tell you boyfriend that you want him to fuck you for a while. When you're hard and ready again, switch positions.
  3. Spend time getting your partner relaxed and ready. Pressure on the head of the penis will cause a lot of guys to lose their erections. So if your boyfriend is tight and you're having trouble getting it in, he's not ready and the effort that it takes for you to push it in can cause you to lose your hard-on. Take the time to relax him, get him lubed up and ready so that you're able to slide it in without a lot of resistance.
  4. Don't freak out. Anxiety can cause you to go soft. A lot of guys get caught in the trap of "I lost my hardon last time... what if it happens again?" circle of self-fulfulling prophecy. Go in with a positive attitude and don't assume that just because it happened last time that it will happen every time.
It sounds like you have a boyfriend who is very understanding. Let him know what's up and what you want to try. Let him be part of helping you while you learn some new things and try some new ways. More than likely, as you relax and become more comfortable with things, you'll be giving your boyfriend the stiffy and this will be a distant memory.
 
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