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Confused

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sean33

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I need some help. As long as I can remember I have fantasized about being with a guy and it got stronger and stronger as I got older. I've even been attracted to 2 men based on the thought and look of them (I used to get a hard on in the locker room showers from looking at them). But I never made a move on anyone or anything. So here I am today wondering if I'm gay, bisexual, or not attracted to men at all. When I'm out and about I'm only checking out women and attracted to them. Especially at bars and stuff I am only looking at the women. I look at a lot of straight and lesbian porn and love it. But other times I look at gay porn and like it a lot as well and sometimes when I watch lesbian porn it makes me want to be with a guy. I've often fantasized about being a bottom and have even played with my ass a bit. So I guess the real wonder is why do I only like men in my head but not out in the real world? Do I just like the idea of being with a guy and am not actually attracted to them or am I in fact bi or gay?

I know I need to have an experience with a guy to really know but I don't know if I should or not..any help would be great!
 
Sounds like you might have some bi tendancies. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to explore a bit.

As a gay man there are a few girls in my life I've been curious about and gotten excited.. but then again I was also drunk at the time.

For me it's something I tend not to worry about. As I'm more attracted to men and would rather save my sex drive for a guy.
 
sean33 said:
I need some help. As long as I can remember I have fantasized about being with a guy and it got stronger and stronger as I got older. I've even been attracted to 2 men based on the thought and look of them (I used to get a hard on in the locker room showers from looking at them). But I never made a move on anyone or anything. So here I am today wondering if I'm gay, bisexual, or not attracted to men at all. When I'm out and about I'm only checking out women and attracted to them. Especially at bars and stuff I am only looking at the women. I look at a lot of straight and lesbian porn and love it. But other times I look at gay porn and like it a lot as well and sometimes when I watch lesbian porn it makes me want to be with a guy. I've often fantasized about being a bottom and have even played with my ass a bit. So I guess the real wonder is why do I only like men in my head but not out in the real world? Do I just like the idea of being with a guy and am not actually attracted to them or am I in fact bi or gay?

I know I need to have an experience with a guy to really know but I don't know if I should or not..any help would be great!
Click to expand...

so, before saying something else I'd like to know how old you are. There's a lot you can conclude by knowing that.

not saying you're immature or anything like that, my question only has to do with biology, nothing else.
 
Echoes said:
so, before saying something else I'd like to know how old you are. There's a lot you can conclude by knowing that.

not saying you're immature or anything like that, my question only has to do with biology, nothing else.
Click to expand...



i'm 24 years old
 
From my experience, I have found that nearly any guy can be sexually attracted to another guy. There are many reasons why this could happen, because sexuality responds to various forms of emotion.

The fact that lesbian porn turns you on is not an indicator of being straight since your response to it could simply be from the power of the same-sex sex that is present.

Lots of guys have male fantasies but that doesn't mean that you're gay because the mind likes to play and experiment with all kinds of possibilities. Anything that is different has an inherent attractiveness. And beautiful males are physically attractive to all of us, unless we have a problem, like we are dead or in denial.

Your desire for guy-guy play could be resolved from experimenting with the right dude. Simply trying homosex with anyone is not a good idea.

As Echoes has said, I'd like to know more e.g. how old are you? What is your living situation?...
 
Okay, I just thought you may have been younger, in which case is really common to feel the way you feel.
here's another question for you: are you virgin?

Alright, so first of all it's quite common to feel attraction of some kind to both sex and as cockbrain said that doesn't make you gay or bi or straight. It's just playing, fantasies are meant to be like that. You said you didn't find attractive men in real life, only in your mind. You can find many men attractive and not be gay, attractiveness is different from lust, one thing is to find somebody good-looking and completely different is wanting to have them in bed. You also said you mostly flirt with women and feel attracted to them, but there's a sign that can't be ruled out, you came here to ask, here you'd get only advice from gay or bi guys, I believe you've possibly figured out by now you are at least bisexual and you just need some support on that. I'll tell you something else, most straight guys don't play with their asses and don't watch gay porn and enjoy it. Although this is not a sentence I believe my friend you're bi for now. I said for now because regardless of what you said about women and lesbians, a bit of denial can be ferret out from your post, which is totally fine. It's okay to fantasize about everybody once in a while but when you have an idea that is stuck in your mind is a different story. I find women attractive myself and I'm gay, I sometimes flirt with women just for the sake of it, but I don't see myself in a relationship with one, before I came out I tried to force myself to stick with a woman and make plans together and so forth, I never believed it myself, it was just denial.
Try to think about something like that, Do you want a female partner? Do you see yourself in a long-term relationship with a woman? and the same for men. That's really helpful and will eventually help you to figure out yourself.

good luck!
 
What you describe is probably reasonably described as "bi-curious".

The decision as to whether you want to move forward is your decision to make. There are plenty of guys that have attractions and curiosities about other guys but never act upon them. Some guys try it and decide it's not for them. Yet others try it and it opens a door to admitting that they're gay.

Ultimately, it's your decision as to whether you want to take that step, though.
 
just wanted to thank everyone for all the advice and let you all know that i ended up hooking up with a guy i know the other night and i really enjoyed it. it was a lot of fun and it just felt right..not to mention i had the most intense orgasm ive probably ever had haha. but i think i would still consider myself "bi" for right now because i still find myself attracted to women and don't know that i want to give them up all together..but definitely wanna get with more men
 
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