Confused

[Day3091]

Hey guys,

Okay so here are my honest sexual feelings: I've always liked women for as long as I can remember and never felt any sexual feelings towards men when growing up until around 17 / 18 when I started to get in touch with my more feminine side. Gay guys love me and I'm quite androgynous but stupidly so. I've got a really feminine face and eyes but thena really masculine, muscular body and a huge arse. So I'd be the perfect bi sexual bottom really. The thing is - I don't think I'm truly bisexual because I only have a fixation with cock and getting off over a the masculinity of a man.

I can find a really in shape guy with a big cock a turn on, but I just want to be submissive and fucked by him. When I see a mans face - it does nothing for me. Everything about women attracts me, and I'm romantically attracted to them aswell. But with men it's all about fooling around. I actually pulled a guy at a gay club last year and attempted to suck him off in my flat but I couldn't stop shaking and I just felt really weird, my cock wasn't hard at all, it was the opposite. I put myself through with the experience in the hope that I could unlock my feelings but they just never came and I didn't enjoy it. Maybe the guy wasn't hot enough?

If anyone out there knows of anything that could help me unlock my true bisexuality or nudge me in the right direction please post it here.

Thanks alot

 

[Jerry]

You seem to think gay guys are more feminine than straight guys, which I find laughable.

Dude if you like girls, then be with girls and be happy. If you like guys, which I don't think you really do, then be with them.

If you're into being submissive and ass play is your thing, find a girl who can accommodate that. She can get a strap-on.

Being gay or bi has NOTHING to do with being feminine or any physical features, it's about who you're attracted to. You dig chicks.

 

[Day3091]

I do apologise, I understand that there is a huge spectrum to homosexuality. Didn't mean to be ignorant.

But yeah, I personally don't believe sexuality is black & white. I think one end of the spectrum can dominate the other (and in my case that would be hetero) but I still have thee feelings. I have a G spot stimulator which I use occasionally when I'm in the mood and can really get off from watching porn and putting myself in the mind of the bottom.

What is the most confusing is how I really don't feel at home when attempting to indulge in my Homoness. Gay bars can be very intolerant places also and people like me are often hated on for being "time wasters" and "attention seekers" - I do let guys know how I feel when I engage with them. I wouldn't be so harsh as to mislead.

 

[Jerry]

I know what you mean about gay bars, they can be some remarkably intolerant places. I used to go out with a lesbian friend at times and guys would get all upset because a girl was at the bar. I'm pretty sure the rainbow flag over the door didn't say "dudes only" or even "gays only". Some people are just A-holes.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to be rude so I hope you didn't take anything I said that way. It just seems to me that you like girls and not guys. I'm not a shrink or anything, but maybe your enjoying the fantasy of being a bottom has more to do with being dominated than being gay/bi?

Again, being gay or bi isn't about the act of sex. It's about an attraction to another person. From what you've said, you don't have any attraction to men, just the sexual instrument they have. A girl could just as easily wear a strap-on and top you if that's what you're into, and I think it's a better alternative than using a man with whom you really have no attraction.

If you just like watching gay porn but not having sex with men, then do that. What's wrong with that? I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if you feel you have to pursue your "homoness" as opposed to just doing what you feel is right for you, then you probably are not a homo.

 

[anchihiro]

So you're really just a little curious is all, attracted to the physicality nothing else. There's quite a lot of people similiar to you out there.

Don't worry that you not falling into some black and white pidgeon whole. Perhaps you need more time to get comfortable with that idea.
But what i do recommend is that if you try doing sexual stuff with a guy again, it would be better if it was someone you knew. It would help you relax more.

 

[Seasoned]

I'm guessing it's all in the approach. Letting someone know you're curious may be a turn on. Telling someone you're in a committed relationship may be a turn off.

 

[palbert]

What I read in your posts is a lack of experience - you do not come out and say that you are the 'ladies man" but you probably have a great deal of experience with women. I think a realistic solution to your "gay experience" may be hiring an "escort." You control the activity and have not spent a fortune on generally unwelcoming bars. You will have no performance anxiety, being passive, and if you find it physically uncomfortable you can take breathers or time-outs. You give no clue where you live but you should be near enough to a city offering male escorts. Good luck.

 

[Just_Believe18]

It sounds like you have a little bisexuality in you worth pursuing. However, focus less on the "image" of what you fantasize about and more with what you are truly feeling in who you are. Sexuality is not just an androgynous appearance getting fucked by a "masculine" big cock. There's something more here that you need to deeply look into.

 

[Day3091]

Hey guys - thanks alot for the advice. I think I'll hire an escort because I don't feel at home at gay bars and I'd rather not be seen by acquaintances when I'm only experimenting. In all honesty, I think my hormones and brain chemistry might always be going crazy because, once I start training and get back in the gym, I feel much more sexually active and my desire for women increases tenfold.

I think I'd feel comfortable hiring a shemale escort as I only have a domination fixation. I think this could come in my favour though with regards to gay for pay. I'm broke right now and I could probably earn so much money if I went about it the right way.