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Confused...

T

tennisguy09

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So, im straight, or thought i was. But this last year, ive been curious about guys. i experimented a bit, and last week, joined adam4adam. i meet another guy like me who was curious, had a lot in common, so we meet at a public place on campus and walked around and talked, and go to know each other. Now, when we hung out for the second time, we ended up making out, sucking each other but did not have time to finish since he had to be at church at a certain time to meet upwith other friendds. now, im really confused. it felt right when we were making out, and idk what to do. help?
 
Well, for one, don't panic. If you are interested in guys, then you're interested in guys. Nothing wrong with it, whether you also like girls or not. Actually, there isn't that much to think about. Keep exploring, and just remember - the only problem with liking guys is in your head :)

If you feel like talking with someone, feel free to PM me any time.
 
hi tennisguy09,

Well, it seems both of you like each other, like to talk with each other and like to experiment with each other. And it seems that both of you are interested in guys. Why not go on with hanging out with him, becoming good friends with him, and see how things are developing?

Are you a student, given the fact you were walking around at a campus? Do you have experiences with girls / girlfriends, and how about experiences of your friend with girls / girlfriends?

Time will learn if you also / still have sexual interest in girls, or that your sexual interest is focussing on guys. Nothing wrong with it.

Good that you have found a nice guy with whom you can experiment.
 
Welcome. I'm happy you've found JUB.

Since the world is heterosexist we're born with the expectation to be straight. Those of us who aren't figure it out in our own at all different times in our lives and it can be traumatic to realize we have a same sex attraction. The thing is, no matter what we are told or what we think about same sex attraction, it's normal for some of the population to have it.

Your acting on your attraction is a good thing because it is a key part of who you are and you have a right to be fulfilled. Now that that's out of the way the next step is self-acceptance. Unless you've made a commitment to a woman, I wouldn't advise that you do anything other than what you're now doing, trying your best to identify your wants and needs. You're free to label those, if you like, at a latter date.

I suppressed any outward expression of my same sex attraction and married a woman right after graduation had two children and stayed married for 14 years. The children are great but I was a wreck. I applaud anyone who has the courage to act on what's instinctual to them. I happen to be gay and I consider it to be a great gift.

We're a supportive community here. As you question and perhaps judge yourself know you can safely express yourself. In addition feel free to pm me or anyone else with whom you feel comfortable. You are not alone.
 
thanks for the responses. only thing is, i screwed up. we were texting about hanging out again, but he couldnt wait due to he was horny, and i kept texting him, and i kind of pissed him off. im going to give it a few days to try and talk to him. due to my phone is messed up and idk if its sending messages or not. so i was sending duplicates. i feel like an ass for it, because he is very cool, and i dont want to screw this up.
 
Excellent advice above. Don't be afraid to go with the flow. If you've had pleasurable hetero experience you could be bisexual.
 
This really sounds like it worked out. Don't take it as he didn't like it because it seems as though he was just pressed for time. If you have his number or whatever, call him in a couple of days and ask him if he wants to hang out again. Believe me I'm envious of your situation. :D And don't be confused unless you didn't like it (which I think you did).
 
tennisguy09 said:
thanks for the responses. only thing is, i screwed up. we were texting about hanging out again, but he couldnt wait due to he was horny, and i kept texting him, and i kind of pissed him off. im going to give it a few days to try and talk to him. due to my phone is messed up and idk if its sending messages or not. so i was sending duplicates. i feel like an ass for it, because he is very cool, and i dont want to screw this up.
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It sounds like both of you enjoyed what happened the last time that the two of you got together. Be honest about what's going on with you and be honest that you want to take things slowly.
 
Thanks everyone. Only thing is, whenever i have tried to get a girl, she always plays me. i've had enough rejection to last a lifetime and a half, and when he and i hung out, it felt right. but my phone is messed up and i was sending messages moe than once and pissed him off. So i havent tried to text him for a few days and now he is in the hospital and i dont want guilt to stay in me. any suggestions?
 
tennisguy09 said:
So i havent tried to text him for a few days and now he is in the hospital and i dont want guilt to stay in me. any suggestions?
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Yeah, next time try calling instead (at an appropriate time of day) instead of texting. It's a lot more personal and less spammy than 50 messages. If he doesn't pick up right away, don't re-call, just leave a message. Then you wait for him to respond, instead of sending more.
 
MindBlast said:
Yeah, next time try calling instead (at an appropriate time of day) instead of texting. It's a lot more personal and less spammy than 50 messages. If he doesn't pick up right away, don't re-call, just leave a message. Then you wait for him to respond, instead of sending more.
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This is probably a good advice if your texts are not working. Or do both of you have smartphones? There are tons of free apps you can download to chat, like Viber, Tango, Kik, Whatsapp (this one is not free for iphones though)...Those are options if your texts are not working and you don't feel like calling. But he'd have to download the app too.
 
no, we dont have smart phones, im getting the iphone after the first of the year.
 
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